Tag Archives for caregivers

Caregivers Must Not Forget Their Own Needs

Published June 8, 2012, Pawtucket Times

           It seems that every where I turn these days, friends, and business colleagues, are being thrust into care giving roles for older family members or spouses.  In today’s hectic world, aging baby boomers and seniors who are now taking on this late-life role can find this new task very demanding and stressful.

            According to the National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP, most aging baby boomers will become informal caregivers at some time during their lives. During any given year, there are more than 65 million Americans (29% of the nation’s population) who provide unpaid care for a chronically ill, disabled, or older family member or relative during any given year.  The caregiver spends an average of 20 hours per week providing care for their loved ones.

            Statistics paint a very detailed picture of the typical family caregiver.  She is a 49-year old, married female who is employed and cares for her 69-year old widowed mother who does not live with her.  Over 66 percent of the nation’s caregivers are women.  More than 37 percent have children or grandchildren 18-years or younger living with them.

The Importance of Taking Care of Yourself

            Connie Goldman, award winning radio producer and reporter whose books have given her readers insights, inspiration, and motivation for personal growth in their mid-life and beyond, sees continuing need for support and services for middle-aged caregivers. 

            Goldman, who authored The Gifts of Caregiving – Stories of Hardship, Hope and Healing, believes the secret of being a successful caregiver is to first take good care of yourself.  Although her book was first published over a decade ago the personal stories that family caregiver have shared continue to offer comfort, insights, and inspiration. Many will benefit from reading the compilation of 30 stories of caregivers who tell their  personal stories of taking care of an ill, disabled or aging loved one.  Goldman notes all of these remarkable people cope with adversity in ways that leave us wondering: “Could I measure up to the challenge?” Most importantly, each of their stories reveals how the hardships of caregiving can be turned into a journey of hope and self-discovery,” she says.

           In her timeless book, Goldman’s interviews include: Dana Reeve (wife of the late actor Christopher Reeve), former First Lady Rosalynn Carter, Pulitzer Prize-winning author Studs Terkel, and others whose lives were forever changed by their care giving experience. There are also personal experiences told by many whose names you won’t recognize, yet their stories offer personal insights that can nurture and nourish   caregivers of any age.

            “Taking on the commitment as a family caregiver opens the door to frustration, irritation, indecision, fear, guilt and stress,” says Goldman, so the caregiver must take care of themselves first. Goldman notes that a mantra she often suggest to post on your mirror, refrigerator, or anywhere else to remind yourself  that you must “Take care of yourself so you can take care of others.”  It is well known that caregivers often lose sleep, don’t eat properly, don’t take breaks, and don’t believe they matter as much as the person who they’re providing care for, she adds.  “Caregivers very often put themselves and their needs last on the list. To be the best caregiver you can be you must care for yourself”.

             According to Goldman, you can be a better, more efficient caregiver if you get enough sleep, eat regular meals, and make a plan to get relief for some period of each day. “I know caregivers are often reluctant to ask a friend to fill in at home while you go to have your hair set, or meet a friend for lunch, or go for a walk in the park. Yet an hour or two away can nourish a caregiver for the next 24 hours,” she says.

             Goldman suggests that caregivers can care for themselves by attending regular support groups, sharing with a friend three things that went right during a day (when everything seems going wrong), or taking a hot bath, reading a magazine, spending a bit of  time in your garden, taking a short nap, or eating a chocolate bar!   It’s often the little things that count in surviving each day and the challenges of being an aging baby boomer caregiver or taking on the caregiver role at any age.  

 Taping into Resources…

             It is difficult for many caregivers navigate the long-term care system to find the most appropriate programs and services to keep their loved ones at home.  According to the Rhode Island Department of Human Services, Division of Elderly Affairs, the National Family Caregivers Association (NFCA) might just provide that crucial information for caregivers.  The Kensington, Maryland-based clearing house (at www.nfcacares.org) offers information on a variety of topics including, stress and family caregiving, caregiver advocacy, care management techniques, support groups, communication with health care professionals, reaching out for help, and other issues.  For more information about the books written by Connie Goldman, go to www.congoldman.org your local bookstore or Amazon.com

            Herb Weiss is a Pawtucket-based freelance writer who covers aging, health care and medical issues.  His Commentaries appear in two daily newspapers, The Pawtucket Times and Woonsocket Call.

Better Business Bureau Resource Book Offers Seniors Valuable Tips

Published in Pawtucket Times on March 29, 2004

Everyone has probably heard the old adage…If you don’t pay for it, you won’t appreciate it.”

Maybe this is true in some situations, but this is not the case should you pick up a “free” issue of the Rhode Island Senior Citizens Edition 2004, published by the Better Business Bureau Book (BBB) series.

The 53-page resource book is free and available at local grocery stores and retail sites throughout the state. It was written to address special needs of seniors by using reliable information.

Seniors and caregivers can become savvy shoppers by simply skimming through this annually updated publication when they seek out products and services.

Do you need to modify your home to adapt it to promote greater independence or to prevent falls?  BBB’s 2004 senior edition gives you sound advice when you begin your home fixups.

When shopping around, make sure the contractor you will use is both licensed and bonded.  Always get a written down payment and only make it a small down payment.

Your final payment should be made when the contractor completes the project to your satisfaction. Always contract Rhode Island’s Better Business Bureau (785-1212) for a reference.

While many may consider BBB’s useful recommendations as common-sense advice, sadly some seniors don’t follow the advice and become victims to unscrupulous contractors.

BBB’s 2004 senior edition is jam-packed with useful information, from outlining senior housing choices to tips on choosing a nursing home, medical insurance and long-term care insurance, eye care and dental prosthetics.

Do you need help with managing your assets or spending within your means?  Are you seeking a lawyer to write your will , creating a trust, durable power of attorney or advance directives?  Have you considered pre-planning your funeral. Yes. BBB’s senior 2004 edition gives timely suggestions on hiring financial planners, lawyers, or even choosing a funeral home.

About 30 percent of the nation’s seniors and 50 percent of those over 85 suffer from hearing impairment. Buying a hearing aid can be a frustrating, intimidating experience for many seniors.  BBB’s 2004 senior edition walks seniors through the process of purchasing a hearing aid.

The publication gives an easy-to-understand explanation of the types of hearing losses and where to turn to for treatment – an otologist, audiologist or a hearing aid retailor. Seniors can turn to page 27 to learn the  specifics about hearing aid products, what to expect during the hearing examination, what to look for in contracts and warranties and service and repair issues.

BBB’s 2004 senior edition warns that Rhode Island is now considered a “target state” for scams because of the state’s high percentage of seniors – 16 percent of the Ocean State’s population is over age 55. The resource book warns about seniors about Canadian telemarketing scams, thieves posing as utility workers or inspectors or Nigerian “fund transfer” scams and how to avoid them.

Finally, seniors are taught how to successfully complain via writing effective complaint letters.  Effective complaining begins by sending a letter addressed to the person in charge of the company, not the consumer protection agency. Always allow the company an opportunity to fix the problem.

When corresponding be courteous, describe the problem clearly and be reasonable when requesting your solution, and enclose “copies” of all appropriate documents. Most importantly, always give the company a reasonable amount of time to respond to your complaint. These are not bad suggestions for seniors or caregivers to follow when attempting to resolve a consumer issue.

In his forward to BBB’s 2004 senior edition, A. Michael Marino, BBB’s president, calls on the reader to keep this handy resource book in a very convenient location for easy reference.  You’ll be able to truly appreciate the sound advice and information this free BBB publication offers, despite the old adage about appreciating only the things we pay for.

Call 785-1212 for a copy of BBB’s senior edition, for pickup locations or for detailed information on how seniors can access BBB services.