Combatting Loneliness Through Connection and Community Engagement

Published in RINewsToday on December 15, 2025

On April 30, 2023, U.S. Surgeon General Vivek Murthy published an essay in The New York Times, announcing the impending release of U.S. Surgeon General’s advisory report titled “Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation.” In this essay he talked about his own personal struggles with loneliness and called loneliness a public health crisis and advocated for strengthening social connections to combat it.

On May 3, 2023, Murthy released a 81-page report revealing that even before the COVID-19 pandemic, beginning late 2019, nearly half of U.S. adults were experiencing measurable levels of loneliness. This report detailed serious physical and mental health risks resulting from being lonely, with a mortality effect equivalent to smoking as many as 15 cigarettes daily. The Surgeon General also proposed a national strategy to address this issue.

Almost two years and seven months later, AARP releases a new report, “Disconnected: The Escalating Challenge of Loneliness Among Adults 45+.” The 57-page study found that 40% of U.S. adults aged 45 and older are now experiencing loneliness, up from 35% in both 2018 and 2010. Additionally, the report noted a shift in gender loneliness trends, too: men are now more likely to report being lonely than women (42% vs. 37%), reversing the 2018 trend where men (34%) and women (36%) reported nearly equal levels of loneliness.

Researchers also found that loneliness is most prevalent among adults in their 40s and 50s, with 46% of adults ages 45-59 reporting loneliness, compared to 35% of those aged 60 and older. This trend of loneliness decreasing with age has been consistent since AARP’s 2010 research study.

“In midlife, people often juggle careers, children, and caregiving responsibilities while their social circles shrink,” said Debra Whitman, AARP Executive Vice President and Chief Public Policy Officer, in a Dec. 3 statement announcing the release of the report. “These pressures can increase stress and reduce opportunities to meaningfully connect with others,” she added.

Key Predictors of Loneliness

The report identifies several key predictors of loneliness, including smaller social networks, mental health challenges, and fewer friendships. Forty-five percent of lonely individuals reported having fewer friends than they did five years ago, compared to 29% of adults age 45 and older overall. Men are more likely than women to report having no close friends (17% vs. 13%).

Technology also played a significant role in enhancing social connections, with nearly 6 in 10 adults aged 45+ (57%) relying on technology to stay connected with family and friends. This group generally has more close friends and is more likely to volunteer or participate in community groups, the findings suggest. However, for some, technology can deepen isolation. Nearly 24% of lonely adults say technology has led to fewer close friendships. At the same time, 23% of lonely adults express interest in AI technologies for companionship, compared to 15% of adults 45+ overall.

“This research underscores the importance of staying connected with family, friends, and the broader community. Solid social networks aren’t just nice to have—they’re essential for combating loneliness and supporting overall well-being,” said Heather Nawrocki, Vice President of Fun & Fulfillment at AARP. “Nurturing relationships is just as critical to your health as eating well and exercising,” she added.

The report highlights that both lonely and non-lonely adults experience a sense of true belonging when they spend time with family, friends, and co-workers. This suggests an opportunity for individuals to strengthen existing relationships and form new connections.

Social connections can serve as a lifeline for both lonely and non-lonely individuals, the report notes. Simple acts such as reaching out to an old friend, starting a conversation with a stranger, checking in on a neighbor who has recently lost a loved one, or volunteering at your child’s or grandchild’s school can help address feelings of loneliness.

Rhode Island Insights on Loneliness

“This research mirrors what we hear every day from Rhode Islanders who call the Office of Healthy Aging,” says Maria Cimini, Director of the Rhode Island Office of Healthy Aging (RIOHA). Cimini explains that loneliness often surfaces quietly through stress, uncertainty, or a simple feeling of not knowing where to turn for help.

“The new AARP research reflects what RIOHA hears daily from older adults, caregivers, and families seeking help. Loneliness rarely presents itself as the first concern in a call,” Cimini says. “Instead, it often manifests as anxiety, caregiver stress, confusion, or simply a need to talk to someone who understands their situation.”

Cimini emphasizes that loneliness is not just an abstract condition but a complex social and health issue that intersects with caregiving, housing stability, transportation access, food security, disability, and mental health. “Calls to the Aging and Disability Resource Center (ADRC) often reveal people navigating major life transitions alone, such as the loss of a spouse, a new diagnosis, reduced mobility, or the isolation that comes with caregiving or retirement,” she says.

“Loneliness has a significant impact on health, and both loneliness and social isolation are increasingly recognized as major social determinants of health,” says Maureen Maigret, policy advisor for SACRI and a board member of The Village Common of Rhode Island (TVCRI). TVCRI helps older adults remain independent and connected to their communities. Maigret highlighted that feedback from TVCRI members shows how critical the social connections provided by volunteers are for maintaining health and well-being.

AARP’s findings align with research from the American Psychological Association and the American Psychiatric Association, according to Elaine Rodino, Ph.D., a former president of the APA’s Division of Psychologists in Independent Practice. Rodino, a licensed psychologist practicing in Los Angeles and State College, Pennsylvania, stressed that loneliness is a subjective experience. “Some people who spend most of their time alone don’t feel lonely, while others with regular social activity still report feeling lonely,” she explained.

“‘Alone in a crowd’ is an expression that captures the feeling of being surrounded by people yet still feeling isolated,” Rodino said, adding that this is true in online environments as well. “Some people engage with social media or chat groups, while others simply lurk, passively observing without interacting. These individuals often feel lonely, whereas those who actively engage are less likely to report the same experience.”

Rodino also pointed out that patients who identify as lonely may struggle to make social connections due to anxiety. “They may feel more comfortable staying home to avoid the discomfort of social engagement,” she said.

Deb Burton, Executive Director of RI Elder Info, offers a simple but important insight: “Too often, we confuse being alone with being lonely. Many people enjoy solitude, but loneliness is the painful feeling that our social connections aren’t fulfilling or adequate,” she said.

Burton explains that society has traded community for independence, and as a result, many people feel isolated. “Rebuilding community starts with simple acts of connection,” she says. “Volunteering is one of the most powerful ways to do this. When people give their time—whether through RI Elder Info or another local organization—they strengthen their own sense of belonging while supporting older adults and caregivers who rely on trusted information and human connection.”

Rhode Island Resources to Combat Loneliness

RI OHA’s approach focuses on connection, navigation, and community—not quick fixes, says Director Cimini, noting that this state office works to reduce isolation by helping people find services, relationships, and meaningful ways to stay engaged.

The state office supports older adults and adults with disabilities through a statewide network of programs that help counter loneliness and strengthen connection, including:

· Aging and Disability Resource Center (ADRC): A trusted entry point for information, counseling, and referrals.

· Senior Companion Program: Pairs trained volunteers with older adults who need regular companionship.

· Family Caregiver Support Program: Provides education, respite, counseling, and peer support for caregivers.

· Senior Centers and Community-Based Programs: Offering meals, wellness activities, and social engagement.

· Nutrition Programs: Congregate meal sites and home-delivered meals that offer nourishment and social contact.

· Volunteer and Civic Engagement Opportunities: Supporting older adults in staying connected through service and community contribution.

· SHIP (State Health Insurance Assistance Program): Provides one-on-one counseling to reduce stress and confusion around Medicare.

The Samaritans of Rhode Island

The AARP study puts a spotlight on an issue that is evolving and becoming more complicated as technologies, the economy, health care options and living situations change, says Executive Director Denise Panichas at the Samaritans of Rhode Island in Pawtucket.

According to Panichas, The Samaritans of Rhode Island (a suicide prevention resource center), loneliness is at the heart of every call to the agency’s anonymous, befriending line. In its forty-eight year history, the agency has trained a legion of more than 1,800 alumni and current volunteers to listen beyond the words for the isolation presented by every caller.

Panichas, who has served as executive director for over 24-years, says that those who feel hopeless, alone and suicidal often carry the belief, whether true or not, that they and their problems and emotions are a burden to family and friends. “The fear of being a burden too often quiets their voices at the very moment they most need to be heard,” she says.

“It’s important for readers to know, The Samaritans is not 911 nor are we 988,” adds Panichas, explaining that the phone lines are staffed by volunteers. “Our mission is not only suicide prevention education but to foster connection to our listening line that, if the caller wants, can be used as long as we are needed but is also available for a lifetime of support. We actually have callers who call every day just to check in or to say good night,” she says.

Says Panichas, “Our callers recognized the sincerity of our volunteers, who by the very act of volunteering, convey a message to our callers that their lives matter and they are not alone. It’s always a good day, when callers report back that after having the courage to talk a Samaritan volunteer, they found the strength to reconnect with family, friends and professionals.”

Emergency? Call 911. Need to Talk? Call The Samaritans of Rhode Island at 401.272.4044 or 1.800.365.4044. Learn more at www.samaritansri.org

To see OHA programs that help counter loneliness and promote social connections, go to www.oha.ri.gov

Tips on coping with the friendship recession

By Herb Weiss,

Published in RINewsToday on April 14, 2025

In the midst of the global pandemic, the May 21 American Perspective Survey (APS) revealed a significant shift in how Americans experience and maintain friendships. The findings, dubbed the “friendship recession,” showed that Americans—especially adult men—reported having fewer close friendships than in the past, talked to their friends less often, and relied less on them for personal support.

According to APS data, the percentage of U.S. adults who report having no close friends has quadrupled to 12% since 1990. Meanwhile, the number of those with ten or more close friends has dropped nearly threefold. For decades, Americans consistently spent about 6.5 hours per week with friends, but between 2014 and 2019, that number dropped to just four hours weekly.

The U.S. Surgeon General’s 2023 report, Our Epidemic of Loneliness and Isolation, along an array of scientific research studies, confirmed that social isolation, loneliness, and difficulty forming or maintaining personal relationships take a toll on both mental and physical health—contributing to increased risks of depression, anxiety, heart disease, and even premature death.

Daniel Cox, director of the Survey Center on American Life, as well as media outlets such as The New York Times and scores of newspapers across the nation, Fox News, PBS, and online platforms, have helped to popularize the term “friendship recession” and raise awareness about its impact on society.

More recently, author and acclaimed podcaster Mel Robbins has brought this issue further into the cultural spotlight by connecting it to the everyday emotional struggles of adults trying to build and maintain meaningful friendships.

Robbins is a #1 New York Times best-selling author and a world-renowned expert on mindset, motivation, and behavior change, whose work has been translated into 50 languages. With millions of books sold, seven #1 Audible titles, and billions of video views.

Robbins, known for her TEDxSF talk “How to Stop Screwing Yourself Over,” and books such as The Let Them Theory, The 5 Second Rule, and The High 5 Habit, delves into the challenges of adult friendships in episode 262 of The Mel Robbins Podcast, which aired on February 10, 2025. titled Why Making Friends as an Adult Feels Impossible & What to Do About It.

The Challenge of Adult Friendships

Robbins observes that many adults feel lonely, isolated, or disconnected—frequently asking themselves, “Where did all my friends go?” She notes, “It does feel impossible to make adult friends.”

In the one-hour-and-seventeen-minute episode, Robbins introduces the concept of the “Great Scattering”—the period following college graduation when people begin pursuing different life paths, often relocating to other cities for work. Unlike childhood, where friendships are easily formed through school classrooms, on the sports field, or extracurriculars, adulthood lacks these built-in social environments.

According to Robbins, the friendship recession isn’t the result of personal shortcomings or antisocial tendencies, but rather the outcome of systemic factors. These include frequent relocations, job transitions, demanding work schedules, and prioritizing family life which can leave little time to nurture or form new friendships. As people age, increasing responsibilities further reduce the time available to build new social bonds.

Robbins also highlights a decline in church attendance, participation in social and civic clubs, and neighborhood gatherings reducing opportunities to meet potential friends. Meanwhile, she says that heavy reliance on social media and texting has further eroded face-to-face interactions, exacerbating the problem.

The Three Pillars of Friendship

Robbins outlines three key elements necessary for creating deep, lasting adult friendships:

1. Proximity: Physical closeness is essential for building bonds. Robbins cites an MIT study showing that proximity—how often you see or “bump into” someone—is the single most important factor in forming friendships. “To create great friendships, you’ve got to spend time with people,” she says.

2. Timing: Shared life stages and experiences—such as parenting, career demands, or health challenges—can support the growth of friendships. While workplace proximity might exist, friendships don’t always develop because “everybody’s all over the place and interested in different things,” Robbins explains.

3. Authenticity and Energy (the “Vibe”): Mutual energy or chemistry matters. “You either feel this thing with somebody or you don’t—and you can’t force it,” she says. “If the energy is off, it’s off.”

Building strong friendships takes time and effort, says Robbins. Research indicates that it takes about 50 hours of interaction to become casual friends, around 90 hours to become good friends, and more than 200 hours to become best friends.

She also encourages listeners to embrace her “Let Them Theory,” which promotes releasing control over others’ actions and focusing instead on your own responses. “This whole notion that you’ve got best friends for life—it’s a modern construct that actually sets us up to fail,” Robbins states. Adults, she says, must accept that people change, move on, and form new social circles. “Let them live their lives,” she advises. “Let them move, change, not invite you. Let them have a social life without you.”

Friendships may drift, and that’s okay. Robbins urges people not to take others’ actions personally and to focus instead on being the kind of friend they themselves would want.

Simple Tips for Making New Friends

“It’s on you to make time for friendships,” says Robbins. She offers several practical tips:

• Take initiative: Reach out with a simple message to reconnect or start a conversation.
• Be consistent: Regular interactions, even brief ones, help build trust and familiarity over time.
• Find common ground: Join clubs or groups aligned with your interests to meet like-minded individuals.
• Be open: Sharing personal experiences helps forge deeper bonds—but know that not every interaction will result in a lasting friendship, and that’s perfectly fine.

Robbins’ episode provides insight into why adult friendships can be difficult to maintain, along with tools to overcome these challenges. By following her strategies, individuals can counteract the effects of the friendship recession and cultivate meaningful connections.

To listen to Robbins’ podcast episode, Why Making Friends as an Adult Feels Impossible & What to Do About It, visit: https://www.melrobbins.com/podcasts/episode-262

The Mel Robbins Podcast releases two new episodes every Monday and Thursday, focusing on motivation, self-improvement, and overcoming obstacles—often grounded in Robbins’ personal experiences. To explore the full podcast library, now over 280 episodes, visit: www.melrobbins.com/podcast.

Robbins introduces The Let Them Theory, a book providing a groundbreaking approach to reclaiming your life by focusing on what you can control and releasing what you can’t. For book details and purchase info, go to https://www.melrobbins.com/letthemtheory.

Herb Weiss, LRI ‘12, is a Pawtucket-based writer who has covered aging, healthcare, and medical issues for over 45 years. To purchase his books, including Taking Charge: Collected Stories on Aging Boldly and its two sequels, visit herbweiss.com.

RIC Fundraiser and E-Book Released to Honor the Late Richard Walton

Published in Pawtucket Times, March 14, 2014

As my co-editor, Rhode Island College (RIC) President Nancy Carriuolo will tell you that the late Richard Walton clearly understood the power of the emerging Internet and the power social media would wield in our daily lives. The beloved social activist and educator who put tireless energy and effort into supporting many worthy causes began emailing and connecting to his family and vast network of friends electronically in the early 1990s.

Over 20 years, he would literally write thousands of correspondences on a vast array of topics including serious social causes, baseball and boxing, politics and even entertaining observations about Rhode Islanders and local events.

Honoring the Late Richard Walton

According to Carriuolo, the late activist’s and educator’s love and active involvement in social media prompted the creation of our e-book, The Selected E-Mail Correspondences of Richard Walton, which offers his sampling of correspondence. As co-editors of this tribute to Walton, we invite you to a RIC Foundation fundraiser, where we will unveil our e-book in his memory, from 2-3 p.m. on Sunday, March 23, at the RIC Student Union Ballroom, 600 Mt. Pleasant Ave., Providence. We will offer readings from this e-book. The suggested donation for the event is $10. Proceeds will be used to equip the English Department Conference Room, which will be named in Walton’s honor.

Last winter, Facebook notification of a memorial event held at Roots Cafe in Walton’s honor brought Nancy Carriuolo and I together with hundreds of others shortly after Richard’s death to celebrate his extraordinary life. We began to correspond via Facebook. She sent me an e-essay that Richard had sent her about “the Encyclopedia Britannica going out of print and wondering what would happen to his Encyclopedia Britannica when he passed.” In return, I sent her an essay titled “The great and good Hammerin’ Hank Tears for my Boyhood Baseball Hero,” telling his love and admiration for the legendary baseball player, Hank Greenberg, and the tears he shed for a long dead baseball player.

In our social media chats, Carriuolo admitted that she had saved some of Walton’s emails. “Who could delete a correspondence with the subject line: ‘Do I Really Have to Wear Long Pants?’ which was written in response to her invitation to recognize Walton as a founding adjunct union president at my opening annual meeting of faculty, administrators, and staff,” she remembers, telling me that “I just could not bear to delete any of his emails.” I shot back an email saying that I bet others had saved Richard’s emails, too, then asking her that maybe we should do an e-book? That was the beginning of our editorial project.

Walton’s 91-page e-book is comprised of electronic correspondence shared by many of his friends and colleagues. Being a brilliant writer and an observer of life, Walton covered topics as diverse as progressive issues on the topic of homelessness (spending Christmas at Amos House), the Rhode Island Governor’s race, national politics, education and women’s rights. He jumped into giving his two cents about the Lion’s Head, his favorite New York hangout, as well as boxing and baseball, and even his views on religion.

In one of my favorite emails in our e-book, Walton shared his great admiration for the great first baseman, Hank Greenberg of the Detroit Tigers. His love for this Jewish baseball player began as a small child when he grew up in Providence listening to the game on the radio with his grandfather during an era of rampant anti-Semitism and racism. Even at the ripe old age of 72, the seasoned journalist wrote a powerful Op Ed in The Providence Journal about Greenberg after reading a four-star review of the movie, “The Live and Times of Hank Greenberg.” He even admitted that he shed tears over “a long-dead baseball player,” this giving me a glimpse into how Walton as a young man would not accept the bigotry of his time and who would later turn his attention and tireless energy to fighting against society’s ignorance and indifference to the less fortunate.

As to other e correspondences…

· On his career choices: Walton admitted, “I did turn down a job as an NBC News

correspondent because I refused to shave my beard.”

· On the fact that at age 79 he traveled to Shanghai to teach children, he quipped,

“It might turn up in a game of Trivial Pursuit some day.”

· On his losing battle with leukemia, Walton noted, “I’m going on a great adventure.”

The Life and Times of Richard Walton

With his prominent long white beard and his red bandana, decked out in blue jean overalls and wearing a baseball cap, Walton, who passed in 2012 at the age of 84, was a well-known figure on the Rhode Island scene. In the early ’80s, he ran as the Citizen’s Party vice presidential candidate. Later, he became an early member of the Green Party. At Rhode Island College, where he taught English for more than 25 years, he ran a successful campaign to unionize adjunct faculty, serving as the union’s first president. With his death, RIC President Carriuolo called for lowering the flags on campus to half-staff in his memory.

Born in Saratoga Springs, New York, Walton grew up in South Providence in the 1930s, graduating from Classical High School in 1945. After taking a two-year break from his studies at Brown University to serve as a journalist mate in the U.S. Navy, he returned to receive a bachelor’s degree in 1951. He whet his appetite for music by working as disc jockey at Providence radio station WICE before enrolling in Columbia University School of Journalism where he later earned a master’s in journalism degree in 1955.

Walton’s training at Brown and Columbia propelled him into a writing career. During his early years he worked as a reporter at The Providence Journal, and the New York World Telegram and Sun. At Voice of America in Washington, D.C., Walton initially put in time reporting on African issues, ultimately being assigned to cover the United Nations.

The prolific writer would eventually publish 12 books, nine being written as critical assessments of U.S. foreign policy. As a freelance writer in the late 1960s, he made his living by writing for The Nation, The New York Times, The Washington Post, Chicago Tribune, Village Voice, Newsday, The [old] New Republic, Cosmopolitan, even Playboy.

A self-described “peacenik,” the journalist was known not only for his political views, but also for his charity and volunteer work with such fixtures as the Amos House homeless shelter, The George Wiley Center, grassroots agency that works to alleviate problems associated with poverty and the musical venue Stone Soup Coffeehouse. In fact, for many years he used his birthday party to host a highly regarded and well-attended annual fundraiser to support Rhode Island’s homeless community.

I know that throughout his life, Richard Walton served as a role model for generations of activists, watching out and protecting Rhode Island’s voiceless citizens, showing all that positive societal changes could be made through sound arguments.

E-Book Allows Us to Re-Experience Walton

While we can no longer see our friend, Richard Walton, in our daily travels, his essence, keen observations and thoughts about our wonderful world can be found in his e-writings. As stated in my afterword in Walton’s e-book, “his emails will magically propel you into the distant past, when he stood among us, allowing us to easily remember our own philosophical banters and discussions with him, even giving us the opportunity to re-experiencing his sharp wit, humor and his humbleness.”

“While so painful to admit that he is no longer here, his beautiful and thoughtful and provocative writings to his family and friends make him come alive once again to us. Just close your eyes after you read the emails in our e-book. I am sure you will once again feel his energy and essence.”

For more details about RIC’s reception to honor Walton or contribute to dedicate a room in his honor, contact Paul Brooks at (401) 456-8810. Donations should be made to the RIC Foundation with the notation: Richard Walton.

Herb Weiss, LRI ’12, is a Pawtucket writer covering aging, health care and medical issues and is co-editor of The Selected E-Mail Correspondences of Richard Walton. He can be contacted at hweissri@aol.com.

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Tips on coping with the friendship recession

RIC Fundraiser and E-Book Released to Honor the Late Richard Walton