Tag Archives for caregiving

2025: A Year on the “Age Beat” in Rhode Island

Published in RINewsToday on December 29, 2025

Throughout 2025, this “Age Beat” columnist published a weekly commentary covering an extensive list of aging, healthcare, and medical issues. During this year, this columnist followed Congressional debates inside the Beltway involving Medicare, Medicaid, reauthorization of the Older Americans Act, and Social Security, reporting on how these federal policy proposals would affect older Rhode Islanders.  During the latest legislative session of the Rhode Island General Assembly, policy debates on Smith Hill were also covered in my weekly commentaries, examining how the proposed bills or enacted laws would impact state programs and services serving Rhode Island’s growing older population.

After reviewing the latest U.S. Census Data, it becomes very clear that the state’s aging population continues to grow.  For more than twenty-five years, I have tracked and continue to follow the graying of Rhode Island’s population.  Through more than 50 articles published in 2025 in Blackstone Valley Call & times and its sister publications, RINewstoday, Senior Digest and other statewide outlets, these stories have decoded complicated public policy debates, and demographic trends to shed light as to how they affect the daily lives of older adults, their caregivers, and nonprofit organizations that serve them.   

Some might interpret my weekly reporting as a way that specifically looks at older adults as one group of people.  However, others might see them on how aging impacts our own family members and our neighbors, and how we all deal with real-life challenges as we get older.

 Themes from Past Year’s Coverage

 Over the past year, several themes have become clear:  the economics of growing older and financially surviving retirement; staying safe from increasing sophisticated scams, public health issues surrounding loneliness and food insecurity; limited public transportation, finding a primary care physician, and managing multiple chronic illnesses.  Many of these commentaries also looked closely at state and federal policies that led to cuts in Medicare and Medicaid; the pressure points placed on Rhode Island’s safety net; and the ongoing policy questions the Rhode Island General Assembly is asking about how to help older adults stay independent at home—not just to live  longer, but live better.

You learn very quickly that national policy debates don’t go the same way here,, if you’ve lived in the Ocean State for a while.  A change in federal requirements of the Supplemental Nutrition Assistance Program (SNAP) or changing eligibility requirements and cuts to Medicaid funding are not distant Washington stories reported by the Washington Post or New York Times especially if they affect food, meal deliveries and health care provided in Providence, Pawtucket, Woonsocket, or Westerly. A change in Medicare drug pricing is not an abstract concept if it determines whether your older neighbor can fill a lifesaving prescription—or whether your spouse’s non-drug compliance stretches pills just to make them last.

 Many of these articles were tied to timely triggers—AARP reports detailing findings of national surveys and polls, a Senate Aging Committee or Congressional hearing putting a spotlight on an aging issue, a proposed legislative proposal being considered by Congress or the Rhode Island General Assembly. But the reporting doesn’t just give a concise summary of a policy issue. The point of these commentaries is to shed light on the issues by asking: “So what does this mean for older Rhode Islanders?” Where are the funding gaps?”  “Who is being left out?  “What can be done now while larger reforms slowly grind their way forward, only to be enacted years later?”

 Many of the commentaries published this year focused on out-of- pocket costs that increase with one’s aging —especially skyrocketing medical expenses. Even when Medicare covers a significant portion of one’s care, many older adults still face overwhelming costs, from premiums and co-pays to dental and vision needs, to uncovered services and especially costly prescription drugs and nursing home care.  The reporting also examined pending questions about Medicare’s financial future, including whether the program will be able to pay beneficiaries full benefits beyond 2033, or face potential benefit cuts.  Even the Washington, DC-based National Committee to Preserve Social Security and Medicare’s call for expanding the retirement program, along with raising the cap to enable Social Security to pay its bills made it into these commentaries.

 Another common theme in this year’s published commentaries is the recognition that aging affects not only our bodies and wallets, but also our emotions and relationships as well. The past year’s reporting on the role of loneliness and isolation serves as a reminder of how harmful they can be, especially when they lead to worse health outcomes.  In these writings, the goal is not to romanticize “community” but to show how social connection and networks in a “community” can be a good way to improve one’s health.

 The commentaries on loneliness do not regard the negative emotional response as a personal deficiency but rather as a significant policy concern influenced by the persistent scarcity of affordable housing, inadequate public transportation, mobility limitations, the loss of spouses and friends, and communities designed around the use of cars rather than their pedestrian walkability or accessibility.  How we view this matters because it is the framing that shifts the discussion away from “Why don’t older adults get out more?” to “What community barriers make connections harder to make—and what public supports are needed to make community connections possible?”

 Taking a New Look at Being Age-Friendly

The commentary on “age-friendly” thinking shows how Rhode Island’s 39 cities and towns can change their programs, services, and public spaces to keep older adults engaged in their community instead of primarily isolated. The announcement that the City of Pawtucket had joined Newport, Cranston, Providence, Westerly, and Bristol to become one of Rhode Island’s Age-Friendly Network Communities is an example.  We hope to report on more communities doing the same.

Over the past year, coverage of food insecurity, and a profile on the Meals on Wheels of Rhode Island, have helped to answer bigger policy questions:  What happens when demand goes up but and payments don’t? How do people get on waiting lists?  “What does “service disruption” mean for someone living at home? And how much does it cost—both in money and in people, when these programs have to be cut back?

One of the most important things we’ve reported on this year is consumer protection, especially when it comes to scams that target older people, because they are often the ones that more easily fall for scams because they have savings and are concerned about them, aren’t as familiar with digital manipulation, or have cognitive impairment.  There are many reasons why this topic is important right now, especially with new technology being used to spread scams.  And the Rhode Island General Assembly has been quick to act.  One commentary informed readers that Rhode Island has passed a new law to crack down on Crypto ATM fraud, making it the 12th state to do so.

 The best reporting on scams doesn’t just explain the tricks and why people fall for them – it also keeps the reader updated as to how scams keep changing.  Plus, it gives you practical tips as to how to avoid them, like pausing before you respond, double-checking what you’re told, and turning to someone you trust if something feels off, verifying, and seeking trusted help before acting. I wrote about these tips in great detail.

These consumer protection commentaries didn’t blame the victims, rather by framing scams as a systemic program caused by new technology and weak verification standards. And it makes this point clear.  Scams are not just seen as financial crimes; they can also cause shame, isolation, and stress that can harm your health.

 Caregiving is also another common topic in this year’s published commentaries. Aging advocates will tell you that caregivers are the hidden backbone of providing care to those in need.  They will tell you that family members, friends, and neighbors help out in ways that would otherwise need paid services or institutional care.  An AARP report says that about 121,000 in Rhode Islanders provided unpaid care to others in 2021 – estimated to be valued monetarily at over $2.1 billion.

 These commentaries on caregiving don’t talk about it in terms of sentiment, but in terms of policy, taking a look at time costs, impact on jobs, burnout, and the lack of enough respite support. The reporting also helps to shed light on common caregiver stress, and that needing help is not a personal failure but a normal result of  demographics and underfunded state programs and services.

When National Policy Hits Close to Home

In Rhode Island, where community-based services are important  to “aging in place,” the weekly coverage has helped readers to understand the whole long-term care continuum—from home care to day care to senior centers to assisted living to nursing home care, if needed.

 At best, access to health care is uneven; transportation is a barrier to many; affordable, accessible housing is limited; and the Medicaid-funded workforce that helps people stay at home is overworked and underpaid.  Older adults are dealing with rising costs for food, utilities, and rent or home upkeep, as well as the effects of inflation.

 Although many of this year’s commentaries put the spotlight on policy issues that need to be fixed, they also provide state policy makers ideas to solve these issues.  These are advocacy groups age-friendly planning; stronger protections for consumers; smarter use of technology; and increased state funding that treats community-based supports as cost-effective interventions rather than optional add-ons.

Surviving, even thriving, when caring for a person with Alzheimer’s

Published in RINewsToday on March 3, 2025

Last Wednesday, Colleen Kelly Mellor, author and former feature writer for the Providence Journal, captivated a crowd at the Coventry Library with a talk about her caregiving journey. In her inspiring presentation, Mellor shared how she not only survived but thrived while caring for her husband, who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease.

Mellor, 79, has had a multifaceted career—raising two daughters, teaching school for over 30 years, and working as a realtor for nine years. The prolific writer is no stranger to seeing the devastating impacts of Alzheimer’s. Her father, two brothers and two cousins died of the cognitive disease.  And for the past 15 years, she has been her husband’s primary caregiver. For 13 of those years, she single-handedly managed his care, from ensuring he attended doctor’s appointments to overseeing his medications.  

This journey led her to write her latest book, Az and Me: A Partner’s Journey with Alzheimer’s.

The 284-page book, published last May, is a must-read for America’s caregivers. “The caregiving journey was so demanding, I felt compelled to write a book about what I learned—something that could help others,” Mellor explained. “I want to make sure they don’t repeat the mistakes I made, especially when I was uninformed, like not knowing about veteran benefits.”

What is the core message of Az and Me? Mellor stresses the importance of caregivers taking care of themselves. “Caregivers need to prioritize their own well-being, just like the airlines say: put the mask on yourself first, then on your child,” she says, adding that her book provides caregivers with the tools they need to do just that.

The Caregiver Journey Begins

“You can step out of the wreckage of your life’s journey,” Mellor encourages. “Keep stepping forward—even when you don’t want to and can’t see any change for the better. It will come if you persist.”

Mellor knows firsthand what that perseverance looks like. She admits that when her partner, Paul Wesley Gates, was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, she was unsure of what it truly meant to be a caregiver. But her message to caregivers, shared during last week’s library talk, was clear: find your footing and keep moving forward.

Mellor acknowledges that she paid the price for being uninformed. “I was one of those caregivers,” she says. Seven years ago, Mellor suffered a herniated disc and became disabled. At that time, she had no support system in place to help care for her husband, a 20-year career military veteran with Alzheimer’s. As she received medical treatment, she had to bring Paul to her appointments and medical tests because she had no support. “I prayed he’d still be sitting in the waiting room when I came out,” she recalled. During this period, Mellor had to place her husband in a care facility for a brief time. The cost? $8,000. Despite initially planning to keep him there for a month, Mellor pulled him out after just four days. The services promised to her were never delivered.

Through this experience, Mellor learned a valuable lesson: the importance of understanding available benefits. “I was paying full price for day care when I could have used my husband’s veteran benefits, which would’ve covered three of the four days,” she said. “No one—no doctor, social worker, or even facility—told me about the benefits he was entitled to,” Mellor added. “He could have stayed at a Vet-approved facility for free because of his military service, and I could have received respite care.”

For the past two years, Mellor has been visiting Paul, now 83, at the Veterans Home in Bristol. She and Paul married at her daughter’s home in East Greenwich last December so that, according to federal rules, she could be buried with her husband in Rhode Island’s Veterans Memorial Cemetery.  

A Guide for America’s Caregivers

Mellor is an advocate at heart, which is reflected in all of her self-published books. “I’m an advocate for people,” she says. In her children’s books, Grandpa and the Truck (Books 1 & 2), Mellor highlights the important role of truckers in our daily lives. In Boomerrrang, her real estate background shines through as she cautions people about buying and selling property. And in Az and Me, she champions the cause of caregivers and veterans.

Her Alzheimer’s book is easy to read, with super short chapters (just 1-2 pages). It’s meant to reach out to caregivers and share her journey, as well as provide practical tips to avoid the mistakes she made. Through her book and group presentations in Rhode Island, Connecticut, and Massachusetts, Mellor helps caregivers avoid pitfalls while navigating the demanding role of care provider.

Mellor shares snapshots of her and her husband’s life, highlighting the challenges they faced and offering practical strategies she used to cope with the stresses of caregiving. In her book, she explains how to determine eligibility for Veterans’ benefits and what those benefits cover. She also advises hiring a certified elder law attorney if needed, someone who understands the complexities of Medicaid eligibility, nursing home admissions, Medicare, Social Security, guardianship, and estate planning.

In her book, Mellor offers several practical tips for managing the challenges of caregiving. For example, when caring for someone with short-term memory loss, she suggests dressing your loved one in bright, easily visible colors. This makes it easier to spot them if they wander. She also recommends giving them a fake handbag or billfold, rather than the real deal, so you can easily access important medical documents. Mellor also shares tips on how to handle tough decisions, like when it’s time to take away the keys to the car. It’s one of the hardest decisions, she admits, but it’s necessary when it’s no longer safe for them to drive.

She advises caregivers to join an Alzheimer’s support group, choose a doctor they feel comfortable with, and divide caregiving responsibilities among family members. “A son can take Dad to his regular haircut appointment, then they can go out for lunch,” Mellor suggests.

Finally, she encourages caregivers to find moments of humor throughout the experience. “Laughter can be a lifesaver,” she says.Mellor likens her book to a box of chocolates: some pieces are sweet, others not so much—but all are essential. “There’s humor in it because my mission is to help caregivers cope and even thrive, not just survive,” she says.

In the end, Mellor sees Az and Me as a love story—one that shows how she and her husband found joy, even in the face of his debilitating disease.

To purchase Az and Me: A Partner’s Journey with Alzheimer’s ($20) or for more details about scheduling a speaking engagement, go to colleenkellymellor.com or call 401-480-3403.  

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Creating an understanding of the richness and diversity of aging 

Published in RINewsToday on October 7, 2024

For years, media managers have clung to the erroneous notion that advertising sales are primarily driven by millennials, holding the mistaken belief that older consumers on fixed incomes are less receptive to purchasing new products.

As a result, these media outlets—whether print or digital, broadcast, or podcast – have often provided insufficient coverage on issues relevant to our aging population. But age bias still exists in some newspapers, electronic media and the internet. 

Yet, with the undeniable graying of America, the increasing number of older adults including Boomers and their older siblings in the Silent Generation with the first Gen Xers now reaching their 60s, continue to rely on reading newspapers to better understand the complex and evolving landscape of aging. 

But recent shifts have occurred as reporters and editors, many of whom are themselves (or have been) midlife caregivers for aging parents or in-laws, including this writer, have uncovered the vast, under-reported stories on aging. Personal experiences have given them the insight and understanding necessary to address these topics with greater depth and balance.

For over 44 years, I have had the joy and responsibility of writing about aging—about the issues that shape our lives as we grow older and also about the opportunities that come with age. Like many of my fellow “age beat” writers and reporters, I have the distinct perspective of being over 70 years old myself. This vantage point informs not just how I write, but what I write, because I know firsthand the challenges and triumphs that come with aging,

Over the years, I have had the honor of sharing the stories of so many Rhode Islanders aged 50 and over who have shared their wisdom, resilience, and humor. Their experiences may be local, but the lessons are universal. Whether writing about policy debates or spiritual reflection, I have aimed to offer a balanced perspective—one that recognizes both the challenges and the immense potential that come with aging.  Through my writings I strive to stand among well-informed journalists covering the age beat, who are more known and maybe better writers, and are informing readers about the Longevity Revolution, with all of its challenges and implications, both positive and challenging.

Through my work, published on RINewsToday, a state-wide news site (in the Pawtucket Times and Woonsocket Call, or  compiled in my books, Taking Charge Volumes 1, 2, and now 3 in the works, I have sought to offer readers practical advice for navigating the later stages of life. From care giving and retirement planning to end-of-life decisions and everything in between, my goal has always been to empower individuals to take control of their own aging journey. Aging is not something to be feared, but rather embraced as an opportunity to live more fully.

Books Give Tips on Aging Boldly

I am pleased to announce that Vol. 3, like my two previous volumes (Taking Charge: Collected Stories on Aging Boldly and Taking Charge: Vol. 2, More Stories on Aging Boldly), will shortly be published by West Warwick-based Stillwater River Publications.

In these volumes, I have compiled a selection of my most impactful weekly commentaries, spanning a variety of aging-related subjects. Each article, listing the date it was published, drawn from my published works provides practical insights and advice for those over age 50. 

Although some of the content may reflect aging issues, research results, study and poll findings and legislative policy debates from years past, the insights are relevant and informative. The stories, while often localize to Rhode Island, contain universal truths applicable across the nation. They reflect the experiences of individuals who share their wisdom on various aspects of aging, from health and finances to relationships and personal fulfillment.

As we continue to advance in age, the opportunities to enhance our lives are more abundant and accessible than ever before. My weekly commentaries that you read on this statewide news site aim to empower readers to take charge of their aging process, embracing the challenges and opportunities it presents with confidence and grace.

Through my  editorial “bully pulpit” in my weekly commentaries and continued efforts, I hope to continue contributing to a greater understanding and appreciation of the richness and diversity of aging. 

To the seniors of Rhode Island, you are my inspiration. Every story I’ve written, every article I’ve published, has been with you in mind. I hope that, through my writing, I’ve been able to shed some light on the issues that matter most to you and to provide some guidance along the way.

I am grateful for the opportunity to continue contributing to this important conversation. But my work is far from over. The aging population is growing, and with it, the need for thoughtful, informed journalism that addresses the complexities of aging.

I thank my readers of RINewsToday for joining me on this journey. May the insights in my commentaries inspire and support you as you navigate your own path to a fulfilling and vibrant later life.

Please take advantage of the opportunity to leave me (and us) a comment, below. We are open to topic suggestions, reactions or personal reflections on the aging challenge.