Tag Archives for caregivers

Reflecting on a Loved One’s Life Time of Achievements

Published in the Woonsocket Call on December 29, 2019

A few weeks ago, my sister Nancy called to give me the bad news that my brother-in-law, Justin Aurbach, was diagnosed with an aggressive and deadly cancer known as glioblastoma, or more commonly referred to as GBM. This 77 year old Dallas-based endodontist who I knew as relatively healthy, a believer in vitamins and physically active most of his adult life, was now house-bound receiving 24 hour a day care by home health caregivers, along with his daughters Stephanie and Allison, and his partner Ruth who were now all part of a revolving schedule of care.

I booked a quick trip to Dallas to sit with him and show my support and concern. It had been a few years since I had been there and I wondered what the conversation might entail, knowing that our 53-year old relationship could cover a lot of ground. Justin and my sister were always collectors of art, and I soon found myself sitting at a kitchen table, surrounded by colorfully carved images of watermelons, where he and I reminisced as the time flew by.

Justin reminded me that we first met in 1967 when he came to pick-up my older sister Mickie, taking her to dine at Campisi’s Restaurant, a local pizza hangout. Even though it took place over five decades ago, he clearly remembered first meeting my mother as she greeted him from the couch, sitting with her thick soled shoes propped up on the ottoman, smoking a cigarette and wearing her trademark leopard print blouse. He recalls her holding Tony, the family’s three-legged Toy Poodle.

A year later, Mickie and Justin would recruit my twin brother, Jim and me to be ushers at their wedding in 1968. Through the ebb and flow of their life together, from raising children, grandchildren and building a successful dental practice, he reflected on their 41 year marriage, noting ‘how it flew by’ before Mickie passed in 2008.

Justin reminded me of the sage advice he gave me before I entered my freshman year at the University of Oklahoma. “Drink in moderation and put studies before chugging pitchers of beer,” he said. It is funny the things you tend to remember, I thought.

As our conversation became more focused on his health, Justin thought that the symptoms of the tumor might first have appeared over five years ago, when he became dizzy while taking a bike ride. Last August, the symptoms returned while riding again, and a Cat Scan would ultimately reveal his tumor.

Turning 60

In 2003, I had the opportunity to interview Justin about turning age 60 for my weekly senior commentary in the Pawtucket Times. He shared the following thoughts about being at the peak of his career professionally, while only five years shy of reaching retirement age.

In my commentary, Justin said, “It’s great [moving into your 60s], however, far too much [cultural] negativity has been directed at this chronological age.”

At that time, my brother-in-law was in relatively good physical shape. While he would acknowledge that he could not run a four-minute mile, he joked that he never could anyway. As he approached his sixth decade, he admitted that he played a little golf like many of his friends, walked and jogged, and even took time to lift weights.

Dr. Justin E. Aurbach, DDS, had accomplished much in his career by the age of 60. As the first endodontist in the Dallas-Fort Worth area, he was the first in the region to perform endodontic microsurgery, when at that time there were only 78 endodontists in the nation performing such surgery. He is past president of the DFW Endodontic Society, The Southwest Society of Endodontics, and the Dallas County Dental Society. He served as general chairman of the Southwest Dental Conference.

Justin believed strongly that he would still be ‘at the top of his professional game, improving with age’, as he proudly boasted. During my interview with him, he said, “not only am I technically better, but my years of life experience have made me wiser in respect to knowing what can and cannot be done in my life.”

The endodontist attributed much of his success to his wife, children and the many supportive family and friends that were part of his large extended family.

By age 60, his philosophy of looking at the “glass half-full rather than half empty” allowed him to cope with life’s difficulties. This life stage was also a time of excitement and learning for him, while he glided into the years he referred to as “best time of your life.”

Getting to the Big “70”

Ten years later, we would speak again about his approaching the age 70 milestone. He reflected on how so much time had passed, which he noted flew by in “the blink of an eye.” During my 2013 interview with him published in my weekly commentary in this paper, he told me that he would “certainly keep forging ahead at a break-neck pace,” promising that new goals would replace those that were accomplished.

He recalled having attended dozens of funerals, said final goodbyes to his wife, father, father-in-law, mother-in-law, along with many close friends and colleagues. Justin noted that “reading the Dallas Morning News obituary page and constantly attending funerals made him aware of the need to accomplish his set goals with the limited time he had left -” but life goes on,” Justin told me. A year after his wife’s death in 2008, the aging widower again found love and began to date Ruth.

Looking ahead into his 70’s, Justin had no plans to retire. Though financially secure, he aspired to maintain a very full practice until his eighty-fifth birthday. He found added fulfillment teaching endodontic residents at Texas AM Baylor School of Dentistry, a job that he hoped would continue into his 70s, while also staying active in the medical group.

Justin has been an avid bike rider for over 30 years, and despite being 70, he would continue to sneak in a ride when possible, even with his busy schedule. He enjoyed the City of Dallas’s fine restaurants, loved to cook for family and friends, and looked forward to a good play or chamber music performance from time to time. His mantra may well be “Live your life to the fullest, don’t put off tomorrow what you can do today.”

Looking Ahead

Justin says, since the diagnosis of his terminal illness, his house has been flooded with family, friends, referring doctors and even former dental students. “I have made a lot of friends and accept that I have impacted people in a very positive way,” he said, as he cites as an upside of his illness.

As we concluded our talk, he says, “Don’t wait to do things. You never know what the future has in store for you,” adding that he learned this lesson from Ruth.
“Simple things in life are your best bet to living a good life,” Justin tells me, stressing that it doesn’t cost a lot of money to enjoy your life.”

Justin acknowledges that he may live another two to six months with the GBM tumor, but remains optimistic, for there are those who have lived for another 14 years. In his remaining time, he hopes to maintain a “quality of life” that allows him to continue to attend musicals and plays, or perhaps even take short trips.

Final Thoughts

As you reach your 60s and into your 70s, research tells us that exercise, eating a healthy diet, developing a strong social network of family and friends, and continuing to learn and seek out new knowledge all become important in enhancing the quality of your life and increasing your longevity in your later years. However, in our twilight years life can become of full of tough challenges and we may face difficult times.

Ultimately, like Justin, reflecting on personal and professional accomplishments can give you the inner resources necessary to meet the challenges in the final stages of your life.

Herb Weiss, LRI’12, is a Pawtucket writer covering aging, health care and medical issues. To purchase Taking Charge: Collected Stories on Aging Boldly, a collection of 79 of his weekly commentaries, go to herbweiss.com.

Uncompensated Cost of Caregivers is a Whopping $470 Billion

Published in the Woonsocket Call on November 17, 2019

Approximately 41 million unpaid family caregivers provided an estimated 34 billion hours of care in 2017 — worth a whopping $470 billion — to their parents, spouses, partners, and friends, according to the latest report in AARP’s Valuing the Invaluable series. The 2019 estimated value of family caregiving is based on 41 million caregivers providing an average of 16 hours of care per week, at an average value of $13.81 per hour. Previous AARP Public Policy reports were released in 2006, 2008, 2011 and 2015.

“It’s encouraging to see greater recognition of the emotional, physical and financial struggles that caregivers face,” said Susan Reinhard, senior vice president, AARP Public Policy Institute, in an April 14th statement announcing the release of the 32-page report. “But the demands on family caregivers are not just a family issue and we must continue to push for meaningful support and solutions,” says Reinhard.

Every caregiver, as well as their families, know the value of their efforts,” said AARP Rhode Island State Director Kathleen Connell. “In Rhode Island, the estimated total value of 114 million hours of work by the state’s 136,000 caregivers is $1.8 billion. The aggregate is astounding, making a clear case for supporting this vital commitment made by family and loved ones.”

“These numbers inspire our members who spend many hours at the State House as AARP Rhode Island advocacy volunteers,” Connell added. “They have helped pass key legislation — the CARE Act, paid caregiver leaves and many other key bills — that have given caregivers resources and opportunities to make their task less daunting. Caregivers are truly invaluable,” she says.

Putting a Spotlight on the Nation’s Caregivers

AARP’s report notes that the estimated $470 billion equates to about $1,450 for every person in the United States (325 million people in 2017). Its economic impact is more than all out-of-pocket spending on US health care in 2017 ($366 billion). Uncompensated care provided by caregivers is also three times as much as total Medicaid spending on long-term services (LTSS) and supports ($154 billion in 2016) and even the total spending from all sources of paid LTSS, including post-acute care ($366 billion in 2016).

The AARP researchers say that the estimate of $470 billion in economic value of uncompensated care is consistent with nearly two decades of prior research studies, all of which found (like the current study) that the value of unpaid family care vastly exceeds the value of paid home care.

The AARP report, Valuing the Invaluable: 2019 Update Charting a Path Forward, also explores the growing scope and complexity of caregiving, including an aging population, more family caregivers in the paid workforce, and the increasing amount of medical and nursing tasks entering the home.

According to the AARP report, family care givers, who provide day-to-day supports and services and manage complex care tasks, are becoming more diverse. While most family caregivers are women, about 40 percent are men who are providing more assistance than just driving to doctor’s appointments and grocery stores or paying bills. Like all caregivers, they are assisting a parent, spouse or friend with bathing and dressing, pain management, managing medication, changing dressings, helping with incontinence and even preparing special diets.

While a majority of baby boomers are providing caregiving services, a growing number of younger adults are now shouldering this responsibility, too. Nearly 1 in 4 (24 percent) are millennials (born between 1980 and 1996). Despite their low salaries, the young adults are spending more of their salary on caregiving expenses than other generations. The researchers estimated that this spending in 2016 was about 27 percent of their income.

About 60 percent of family caregivers are juggling a job and providing care, too. This will continue as aging baby boomers choose to remain in the labor force to bring additional income into their household. Workplace benefits for caregivers becomes become even more important as they face economic and financial strain in their later years.

For those employees who choose to leave their job to become a full-time caregiver, they risk both short-and long-term financial difficulties, say the researchers.

Finally, the researcher’s recommendations to better support family caregivers included developing a robust and comprehensive national strategy with the needs of an increasingly diverse caregiver population included; providing financial relief and expanding workplace policies; developing caregiver training programs; and expanding state and federal funding for respite programs.

More Work Needs to Be Done

The AARP report warns that the rising demand for caregivers with the graying of the nation’s population, shrinking families will drastically reduce the supply. In 2010, there were 7.1 potential family caregivers for every person age 80 and over. By 2030, there may be only 4.1 potential caregivers for every person age 80 and over, they say.

Although significant federal and state policy are already in place to assist the nation’s caregivers, more work needs to be done, say the researchers. They call on Congress and state lawmakers to keep pace with the changing demographic, social trends and needs of the family caregiver.

Resources and information on family caregiving, including AARP’s Prepare to Care
Guides, are available at http://www.aarp.org/caregiving.

Caregivers Find it Difficult to Shop at Retail Stores

Published in the Woonsocket Call on September 22, 2019

Survey findings from a recently released national study, by the Washington, DC-based AARP and NORC at the University of Chicago, will send a strong message to America’s businesses.

With the graying of America, retail stores must change the way they do business in order to attract customers who provide unpaid family caregiving to their loved ones.

The study, “Family Caregiver Retail Preferences and Challenges,” and its survey findings were presented at the AARP Executive Summit, The Price of Caring, on September 10 in Washington, D.C. The summit’s mission was to highlight public- and private-sector solutions to support Americans who care for an older or ill loved one.

In-store Shopping is a Struggle

While juggling a multitude of caregiving tasks, caregivers say a lack of accommodations for their frail family members is a problem for shopping at retail stores. The study’s findings reveal that in-store shopping is a struggle for one-third of the nation’s 40 million unpaid family caregivers. Many leave their loved ones at home or choose to shop online, despite strongly preferring the in-store experience.

A whopping 93 percent of caregivers surveyed say they shop for the person they care for. Among these caregivers, most report shopping monthly for groceries (87 percent), basic household items (65 percent), toiletries (61 percent), prescription drugs (58 percent) and other health products (52 percent for persons they regularly care for.

“Americans who take care of loved ones are often strapped for time, and many face logistical challenges doing something as simple as going to the grocery store,” said Nancy LeaMond, AARP executive vice president and chief advocacy & engagement officer, in a September 10th statement announcing the study’s findings. “Retailers can score big with caregivers if they make it easier for them to bring their loved ones along when they shop,” says LeaMond.

The AARP survey findings detail simple but important changes retailers should consider to enhance the shopping experience of caregivers. Businesses can provide dedicated parking spots and ample comfortable reserved seating for older shoppers to rest, wider aisles that easily accommodate both wheelchairs and shopping carts, longer store hours, and train their staff to specifically work with caregivers.

The Pros and Cons of In-Store and On-Line Shopping

The survey findings in the 26-page study reveal that 82 percent of the caregiver respondents prefer to shop in-store because of the ability to touch the products and they don’t have to wait for a product’s delivery or pay for shipping charges. But 84 percent say they shop online for ease and convenience, despite preferring an in-store experience. Forty three percent of the respondents say a major reason they leave their loved one at home when shopping is because the store environment is too difficult for the recipients of their care.

More than 56 percent of the caregiver respondents say that when shopping on behalf of their loved ones they spend at least $50 per month. Forty one percent note they spend more than $250 or more a month when shopping for a loved one.

Businesses Must Listen to the Shopping Needs of Caregivers

We listen to a lot of caregivers and it seems clear that, regardless of the challenge, the help they want most is for somehow to find a convenient, time-efficient and accommodating means of getting what they need, when they need it,” said Rhode Island AARP State Director Kathleen Connell. “In retailing, convenience is a huge competitive advantage these days. But there are aspects of convenience that – for caregivers – go beyond finding what you need on Amazon and having it delivered the next day or two,” says Connell.

“Some caregiver needs are in the ASAP category and they head for brick and mortar retail establishments. Shopping for food and clothes, picking up a prescription or medical supplies, even simple things such as picking up dry cleaning feel like ‘emergencies’ because time is so. Imagine this in the context of being with someone in a walker or wheelchair,” notes Connell.

Connell urges retailers to take this report to heart. “There is an incredible amount of goodwill to be earned if you think about caregivers, as well as those in their care, and give them the consideration that makes their tasks a little easier.”

The AARP survey was conducted by NORC at the University of Chicago and is based on a nationally representative survey of 1,127 Americans who provide unpaid care for an adult age 18 or older. The survey was funded by AARP and used AmeriSpeak®, the probability-based panel of NORC at the University of Chicago. Interviews were conducted between Aug. 1-19, 2019, online and using landlines and cell phones. The overall margin of sampling error is +/- 4.1 percentage points at the 95% confidence level, including the design effect. The margin of sampling error may be higher for subgroups.

To read the full report, visit: http://www.aarp.org/caregivershopping.

For more details about AARP’s Caregiver Shopping study, contact Laura Skufca, AARP Research, Lskufca@aarp.org.