Category Archives for Aging

Your Later Years: A Commencement Speech for the Graduates of 2008

Published in All Pawtucket All the Tie on June 13, 2008

College graduates, you live in interesting times.  Gas prices are spiraling out of control, now heading past $ 4.00 per gallon.  Like a growing number of Americans, Ed McMahon, who appeared for decades as Johnny Carson’s sidekick on NBC’s Tonight Show, is today fighting to avoid bank foreclosure on his multimillion dollar house in Beverly Hills. Rhode Island’s economy is now in a recession and state-wide unemployment is up. The nation is still at war in Iraq. What sage advice can be given to you as graduates for a more hopeful and promising future?

This month, throughout the state’s Colleges and Universities the Class of 2008 sit and listen to commencement speeches, given by well-know lawmakers, judges, television personalities and CEOs, about how they can personally overcome current  economic and policy challenges that our nation faces.  These graduates are also given tips that might assist them in having a rewarding personal and professional life.

Some advice for 2008 Graduates

Here I sit with a written commencement speech but no place to go.  But in a heart beat if I was to give you my thoughts to the class of 2008, I would urge them to age gracefully and not fight against it.  Aging baby boomers, the dwindling members of the Pepsi Generation, still grasp onto their youth, fearing the onset of wrinkles, sagging stomachs, and gray hair.  As you move into middle age and beyond, learn to see life as a journal, do not dwell on the final destination.

Years ago my late father gave me “Life’s Little Instruction Book.” At that time, this book was listed as a bestseller by The New York Times, and gave readers 511 suggestions, observations and reminders on how to live a rewarding later years. I give you my version of this book, which I can hopefully provide you simple tips and a road map throughout your later stag es as to how one might age gracefully.

In facing life’s challenges, focus on the positive.   You make dily choices as to how you will tackle and re act to life’s problems. Remember you can see the proverbial glass as “half-full” or “half empty.”  A positive attitude becomes important to successfully age.

Forgive Yourself and Others

As we grow older, it becomes so easy to continually reflect on our successes and focus more on the bad hands we are dealt throughout our lives.  Each and every day, savor your personal and professional victories, but always forgive yourself for your defeats and failures.

Don’t live in the past, live in the present, but keep your eye on the future.  Time flies by swiftly, in the blink of an eye. A spiritual teachers once told her followers to view one’s life as a cancelled check.  Let go of those past regrets and mistakes you made in your childhood and those you will make in your middle years. Learn to forgive yourself for passing up opportunities.  There is just not enough time left to carry the burdens of past guilt or grudges.

If you can forgive yourself, it is rucial for you to forgive others, even those who hurt you personally and professionally.  You cannot live or reconcile your life peacefully if you are still holding on the grudges , anger and bitterness, all tied to past actions.

As you grow older and accumulate life experiences, don’t be afraid to share your life story with others, especially with younger people who can benefit from it.  You will have a huge reservoir of untapped wisdom gained through life’s trials.  As a parent and later a grandparent, share your insights and lessons you have learned throughout the cyclical ups and downs of your life.  The generations following you will be at a loss if you choose to be silent and keep your knowledge from them.

Use it or lose it.  “Stay as physically active as you can,” URI Gerontologist Phil Clark once told me.  He said,” if you rest, you rust.”  Physical exercise elevates our modd and benefits your cardiovascular system.

Aging research also tells us that you must also exercise your brain.  Make time to read your newspapers, magazines, and books. Spend some time working on a challenging crossword pussle, or play chess.

See the bigger picture of life. Engage in daily acts of loving kindness to others.  Research tells us that volunteer work can be a protective buffer from the curve ball that life may throw our way as we age.

Keep up you social contacts and personal connections with others.  When you require help, always ask for it.  Don’t be afraid of asking your family, friends, and colleagues for support and assistance. There wil always be opportunities for you to help and care for others, too.

Enjoy Simplicity in Your Life

Learn to slow down and enjoy the simple moments of your life.  Author Connie Goldman notes that the simple act of watching a beautiful sunrise or sunset or even puttering around your garden can be as stimulating as a jam-packed calendar of activities.

There are no sure bets in life except death, taxes and growing old.  So, Class 2008, make the most of life.  Embrace your later years and go for the gusto.  Enjoy your journey.

State Must Rethink Its Driving Policies for Seniors

Published in Pawtucket Times on August 4, 2003

Not seeing the posted sign, 86-year-old Russell Weller drove onto a street closed to traffic and mowed down 50 pedestrians with his car, ultimately killing 10, in a Southern outdoor farmers market.

Just nine days later, Louis Nirenstein, 70, plowed into pedestrians at a local farmers market in Flagler Beach, Fla., injuring six people.

Both of these accidents follow on the heels of the tragic death of longtime R.I. state Rep. Mabel Anderson, who was killed while pushing her carriage at the front entrance of the Home Depot parking lot at the Bristol Place Shopping Center in South Attleboro.

A magistrate’s hearing to determine if vehicular homicide was committed by an 88-year-old Pawtucket driver is scheduled for Aug. 14 at the Attleboro District Court.

According to a report released by the Road Information Program last month the number of older drivers – ages 70 and above – killed in crashes nationwide increased by 27 percent from 1991 to 2001.

The latest data finds older drivers have not only lost their ability to manage complex traffic situations, but are more likely to have problems making left hand turns and understanding small signage that alerts motorists to upcoming changes in traffic patterns.

The aging process guarantees your driving skills will not be as shar as you get older.  Poor vision, caused by cataracts, glaucoma, macular degeneration, poor hearing, lack of flexibility, limited range of motion and reduced rection time make the complex tasks associated with driving more difficult for older motorists.

As older driver facilities increase and the death toll tied to older-drivers accidents sky-rocked, a growing number of states are looking at licensing restrictions as a way to delicately approach this complicated problem.

AARP and other aging advocacy groups will say not all seniors are equally affected as they age. One may lose the skills needed to drive safely at age 60, while another will not lose those skills until 90.

For many seniors, losing your driving privileges translates to the loss of independence. Meanwhile, public transportation may not be readily available.

States are grappling with this age-charged issue, not wishing to stir up the wrath of seniors. Aging advocates oppose any blanket solution to this problem, calling for licensing restrictions to be made on a case-by-case basis. They say age should not be used as a predictor of unsafe driving.

In Rhode Island, the Department of Motor Vehicles has decreased its renewal cycle from five years to two years for persons age 70 and older.  At license renewal time, some states require vision screening and road tests for older drivers.  Certain medical conditions or a succession of accidents my restrict your driving privileges in other states.

Even the limiting of driving hours or the types of roads driven on are examples of license restrictions that states can attempt to reduce age-related accidents.

The American Association of Motor Vehicle Administrators, the American Automobile Association, AARP and the National Safety Council, have recognized the thorny issues surrounding restrictive licensing and have developed special training courses to help older motorists drive more safety.

On the other hand, even if an older driver enrolls in one of these courses, they may choose not to recognize age-related limitations that impact on their driving.

With a growing age population, R.I. state officials must tackle this problem head-on. Why not consider mandating a battery of tests to examine an older drivers’ field of vision, flexibility and range of motion, reaction time, along with the person’s mental or cognitive abilities?

Intersections can be improved by widening left-lane turn lanes, adding overhead street signs and adding luminous lane markings.

Finally, street and highways can be improved by creating longer merge and exit lanes, making curves less sharp and using rumble strips to warn motorists when they are running off the road.

If the state chooses not to act, the result will allow a growing number of unsafe senior drivers on the road.

Ultimately, the burden falls on the family and physicians who must take the keys away from the driving-challenged senior.

Sometimes you just have to yank the keys away from an older family member, like my family needed to do several years ago. When my father could not stop my mother with dementia from driving, the only solution appeared to come from making a call to the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles (TDMV) by my family.

Mother’s deteriorating driving skills were reported and as a safe measure, the TDMV officials called her in for testing – where she failed the test thy gave her three times.

As difficult as a decision this was for my family to make ultimately, my mother, who was in mid-to-late state dementia, didn’t even realize that she had lost her driving privileges and her keys.

Sadly, we will continue to read about age-related traffic accidents and the death of innocent victims until states move to tighten driving licensure of older adults.

For information about AARP’s 55 Alive Driver Program for older people call 1-888-227-7669 or write them at 601 E. Street, N.W., Washington, D.C. 20049.

Beer Commercial Brews Condemnation from Senior Organizations, Advocates

Published in the Pawtucket Times on May 13, 2002

This Bud’s Not for You.”

That’s what radio commentator Bill Benson told his vast WMKV-FM listening audience in Cincinnati, Ohio, last July when he called for Anheuser-Bush to pull a radio commercial that used elder abuse to pitch Bud Ice beer.

Sadly, this month Bill Benson reported in is Washington Aging Report that Anheuser-Busch again has brewed “bad faith” with the showing of another trashy television commercial.

Last July, Benson rallied aging advocates from across the nation to successfully force Anheuser-Bush, the maker of Budweiser beer, to pull a controversial radio commercial off the air.

Benson – a former acting assistant secretary for aging at the U.S. Department of Health and Human Services who now heads the Maryland-based Benson Consulting Group- along with the AARP and aging advocates, condemned the St. Louis-based beer company for using ageism to sell its brews.

Last July, much to the surprise or Anheuser-Busch officials, wide-spread criticism erupted with the release of its advertising campaign, “She Married Steven Buck Simpson.”

The commercial featured a 22-year-old woman gleefully talking about how she physically, emotionally and financially abused her frail 93-year-old tycoon husband. Ultimately, the young woman leaves the country in her elder husband’s private jet taking away all his money.

Benson along with elder law attorneys, ombudsmen, and aging advocates, called the advertising campaign tacky, bombarding the station’s largest beer maker with calls, tells  letters and emails.

“Elder abuse is not a joking matter and your message to the country is inappropriate,” said AARP President Ester Canja in a letter sent to Anheuser-Busch CEO August A. Busch III.

When the dust settled this public relations fiasco, the commercial was quickly pulled.

But now a new television commercial has drawn the ire of Benson and his fellow aging advocates.

In a recent radio commentary, Paul Greenwood, who heads the Elder Abuse Prosecution Union at San Diego County’s District Attorney’s Office, told Benson of a commercial he viewed while watching a televised NBA basketball game on April 29 on TNT

Greenwood became annoyed when Anheuser-Busch ran a spot featuring young people ripping off vulnerable adults.

The offensive commercial began with a young couple seated on a dining room table with the aging parents of the young woman. The young man, evidently the daughter’s significant other tells her elderly parents that he and his daughter look forward to moving in and gaining the property when they die.  Then he apparently complements the elderly parents for still having “motor skills” and finishes by saying, “She tells me you are loaded.”

Every day Greenwood sees the impact of exploitation of older Americans, said Benson.  His unit has prosecuted 124 felony elder abuse cases in 2000, and 147 felony cases in 2001.  This year, the number of cases prosecuted may well reach 225. That’s why Greenwood got offended when the beer commercials trivialized the financial exploitation of the elderly.

Just as he did when the last commercial raised his ire. Benson put the spotlight on the new Anheuser-Busch spot, giving it a thumbs-down in his latest Washington Aging Report and calling on thousands of aging advocates , via the internet, to urge the company to drop the commercial.

At press time, Anheuser-Busch officials had no comment about the latest controversial ad campaign.

Maybe it is time for the beer maker to solicit proposals to seek the services of a new advertising firm, one that can create material that is both humorous and creative, yet not offensive.

At the very least, they should require the creative types who develop the company’s advertising strategies to attend sensitivity training seasons.

In his radio  commentary, Benson firmly stated “my taste buds will no longer taste Bud again.” With hundreds of thousands of aging advocates and seniors following his  lead Anheuser-Busch just might finally get it at least this time around.