Tag Archives for Relationships

Older adults attract scammers with popularity of cyberdating

Published in RINewsToday on February 10, 2025

Digital technology is not just a way to find information and news, shop, or even search and apply for jobs.  For older single adults, getting back into the dating scene can be difficult. It could be after a divorce, or death of a spouse, or just deciding some years too late that having a mate is something desirable at this time of your life.

Dating rules have changed since years ago. But, since the mid-1990s, when Match.com, the world’s first online dating website was launched, millions have utilized internet dating as a way to meet potential partners without leaving their home.

Today, online dating, sometimes referred to as cyber-dating, has replaced traditional ways (like belonging to civic groups, clubs and attending church) singles use to find that special person.

Even though many might consider on-line dating a crap shoot in finding that perfect person to spend the rest of your life with, a growing number of older adults are using online dating platforms.  And many, unfortunately, are falling for online dating scams, as well.

A Snapshot of Older Online Daters

Last July, an article penned by Olivia Sidoti, research assistant, and Michelle Favero, research associate at Pew Research Center, provided an analysis of how older adults experience dating sites and apps and their views of online dating.

The data, obtained from a survey conducted in July of 2022,  was taken from a 74-page report, “From Looking for Love to Swiping the Field: Online Dating in the U.S., released on Feb. 2, 2023.

According to the Pew study, about a quarter of older Americans in their 50s have used an online dating site, compared to 14% percent in their 60s and 12% in their 70s and older.

However, just 3% of the older respondents are currently using online dating platforms or have used them with the last year, compared with 15% of those under age 50.

The Pew study found that 6% of the respondents over age 50 who were married, living with a partner or in a committed relationship, found their significant other online.

With so many dating sites and apps available to choose from, the survey findings indicate that about 1 in 5 online daters have used Tinder.

About half of the adults age 50 and over cite seeking a long-term partner or spouse as the reason they have online dated in the past year. Meanwhile, about 36% say they want to date casually, with 22% saying their motivation is casual sex.

The researchers found that women aged 50 and over are more likely than males who use a dating site or app to say their dating experiences have been negative.

About half of the online daters ages 50 and over say they have encountered someone who they thought was trying to scam them.  Furthermore, about four-in-ten online daters ages 50 and older (45%) report unwanted behaviors while seeking a date online. Specifically, they were sent sexually explicit content they didn’t ask for (33%), and 26% were continually contacted after they expressed disinterest. Seventeen percent of the older users report they were called offensive names, and 4% were physically threatened.

Protecting Yourself When Online Dating           

According to the Centers for Disease Control and Prevention (CDC), nearly one in four individuals older than age 65 are considered socially isolated. Older adults are at risk of isolation and loneliness due to living alone, loss of family and friends, chronic illness and hearing loss.  

CDC says that there are also physical health risks as well. Those dangers include significantly increased chances of an early death, 50% increased risk of dementia, 29% increase in the likelihood of developing heart disease and a 32% higher chance of having a stroke.  

There’s a Class for that!

With so many older adults not having meaningful relationships with their family or without having a significant partner, Sun City, Arizona-based Banner Olive Branch Senior Center offered a class covering the basics of finding love and companionship online.    

“We feel this is an important topic to address because there are many seniors [in our community] who are alone,” says Jackie Cromer of Banner Olive Branch and instructor of the online dating class held last April. “It’s an approach to add some fun and excitement into their lives and allow seniors to feel connected and potentially even find love,”  she said.

The class covered which dating sites to select, how to write and choose photos for your dating profile, the best ways to find and connect with potential matches, how to handle rejection, and emphasized safety tips such as not giving personal information, meeting in a public place, transporting yourself to the date and letting loved ones know your whereabouts. 

Tips on Protecting Yourself Against Romance Scams

As a growing number of older adults go online to search for that special person, scammers take advantage of these individuals. According to the Federal Trade Commission (FTC), in 2022 almost 70,000 people reported being a victim of a romance scam.

Be aware of “red flag” indicators of a potential romance scam, when approached on a dating site, warns Home Security Investigations (HSI), the principal investigative arm of the U.S. Department of Homeland Security, noting that scammers seek to gain the victim’s trust and then provide false information or misrepresentation to gain a financial benefit.

Here is some advice from Home Security Investigations (HSI):

HSI urges older online daters to watch out for the following indicators of a potential romance scam, when a potential partner:  

·         Claims they live, work or are traveling abroad.

o    Lacks proper grammar, although they claim to speak English.

·         Claims to be notably younger than you.

·         Quickly professes love to you.

·         Has a story that is inconsistent.

·         Has a minimal online presence.

·         Sends general photos (mostly fake/AI generated) of themselves traveling, shopping, or dining at luxurious locations.

o    Sends or requests explicit photos or videos.

·         Mentions the idea of meeting and being together soon.

·         Provides periodic excuses for being unable to make a video call (e.g., Facetime).

o    If a video call happens, you’re unable to see their face clearly.

·         Requests to have conversations/texts be moved to a separate app (e.g., WhatsApp, Telegram).
Asks for money, often via non-traditional methods such as cryptocurrency or gift cards.

o    Asks if you’ve ever invested in cryptocurrency and/or foreign exchange market.

o  Sends a business link of a cryptocurrency and/or foreign exchange trading platform.

o    Is combative with you or tries to divert your attention when you question their intentions.

Lastly, if your bank contacts you to express concern you are being victimized, this is perhaps the most significant red flag that you are being targeted.

You can also call the AARP Fraud Watch Network Helpline at 1-877-908-3360 to talk with a trained specialist about protecting yourself when seeking a relationship on a dating site.

Matchmaker, Matchmaker, make me a match!

Many are now saying that the most successful way to find that appropriate partner is to be introduced to her/him by someone you know – be that family or friend. And, while not plentiful, and sometimes expensive, matchmaking services that match you up for a date, one on one, are around, even in Rhode Island. The good part is they will coach you on what to where, what to talk about if it’s been awhile since you had a date-convo, and if after the date, it doesn’t work out, they will handle the uncomfortableness of that conversation with the other party – and keep working on your behalf. Some matchmaking services advertise on local radio, and that may be a good place to start. All the rules of scams and checking out the company or person are still advisable, of course – ask for references!

And let us know how it goes – until then – Happy Valentine’s Day (week)!

___

AARP Research Study Explores Why People Are Happy

Published September 14, 2012, Pawtucket Times

           “Good conversation, meeting new people while traveling, and being in good health” brings much happiness to long-time Pawtucket resident Jean Babiec.  The former Providence school teacher, in her eighth decade, added she would be ‘extremely happy’ if the Rhode Island General Assembly passed legislation, signed by Governor Lincoln Chafee, to create a Pawtucket Red Sox vanity license plate.

           At-Large Pawtucket City Councilor, Lorenzo C. Tetreault, 65, is “the happiest when he can help others.”  The retired Pawtucket teacher is also happy when he holds his one-year old twin grandsons from Narragansett, Samuel and Benjamin, in his arms.

           Former Pawtucket Tax Assessor, Dave Quinn, 64, who now oversees the Tax Office in the City of Providence, finds happiness “knowing that his family is healthy and his children are doing well.”  The Seekonk resident also feels happy by being intellectually challenged by his job.

           Babiec, Tetreault and Quinn’s statements on what makes them happy are reflected by others documented in a recently released AARP study on what happiness means to aging baby boomers.  The findings of this report indicate that relationships and being in control of your health and life are key factors in bringing happiness into your life.  

Defining Happiness

            The new AARP study, titled “Beyond Happiness: Thriving,” found that most Americans age 35 and over are happy, but compared to historical General Social Survey (GSS) data, levels of happiness are on the decline and at their lowest levels (due in part to the nation’s economic downturn).  In an effort to explore what happiness means to aging baby boomers and what it takes to thrive as they age, over 4,000 adults age 35 and over were surveyed to determine what makes them happy.   

             “We’re always looking to get a more robust understanding of the contributors and barriers to happiness in people’s lives,” said Steve Cone, Executive Vice President of Integrated Value Strategy, AARP. “Building on previous AARP research, which shows the importance of happiness and peace of mind to aging baby boomers, these new results affirm that we are on the right track—advocating to ensure basic health and financial security and making available everyday discounts that let people enjoy time with family and friends.”  

             According to researchers, the findings of this study reveal the existence of a U-shape curve of happiness by age. The early 50s is the lowest point from which happiness builds. Thus, if you missed happiness in your 30’s, there is still another chance to achieve it in your 60’s.

             The Researchers note that as people age and eventually retire, they can devote more time to building relationships and just enjoying simple everyday pleasures.  Younger people are still working hard to solidify their accomplishments.

           The AARP study’s results also provide four key insights around the drivers of happiness.

The Happiness Spectrum

            Overall, the strong majority (68%) of respondents say they are happy, although intensity of happiness is somewhat tempered as the largest percent report being somewhat happy (49%) versus very happy (19%). Almost half of those surveyed feel they are just as happy as others (49%) and the rest tend to believe that they are happier than others (31%) as opposed to less happy than others (13%). Part of this may be attributed to the perceptions of people being the masters of their own happiness destiny.

            More interesting, the respondents were concern for the happiness of the next generation. Less than half feel they will be as happy or more (45%). Most are either not sure (19%) or believe they will be less happy (35%).

Relationships Key to Happiness 

           The AARP survey findings also indicate that regardless of your age, good relationships with friends, family, and even pets, were found to be universally important. Activities associated with those relationships contributed most to a person’s happiness. The most significant activity was kissing or hugging someone you love.  Other activities included: watching your children grandchildren or close relative succeed; being told you are a person who can be trusted or relied upon; spending time with your family or friends such as a meal or social gathering; and finally, experiencing a special moment with a child. 

            Researchers say that relationships with family pets were especially important to women, singles and older individuals.  However, relationships did have to be real: “connecting with friends or family on a social media site like Facebook” came in 37th out of 38 activities in contributing to happiness. Importantly, none of the top contributors require a lot of money to achieve; they are “simple pleasures” that can be had by all.

 Good Health Linked to Happiness 

          Without good health, it is far more difficult to achieve happiness: people in “good or excellent” health are three times more likely to report being “very” happy, the researchers say.  However, one’s health may be more a state of mind than objective reality.  The findings noted that the percentage of those reporting good health is relatively stable over the ages 35 to 80, varying only seven percentage points, even as reported chronic or serious medical conditions increase 400% in the same age range. 

Calling the Shots, Brings Happiness

          The majority of those surveyed feel they have control over their personal level of happiness. Interestingly, this sense of control increases with age. Moreover, people who feel in control are clearly happier—reporting that they are 2.5 times happier than those who believe happiness is out of their control. The study’s findings indicate that a sense of control is linked to higher income, higher education, good health and the lack of having experienced a major life event in the past year.

Money Does Not Always Guarantee Happiness

            While many will say having money can bring happiness, this research study showed that it seems that how one spends it seems to matter more.  Happiness increases with income and conversely, lack of financial resources was tied to unhappiness. While less than a third of participants said money contributed to happiness, when asked how they would spend $100 on something to increase happiness, most respondents said they would spend it on their family or going out to dinner. Money is only a resource, that when applied to meaningful areas of one’s life, can provide experiences that can increase happiness.

         Herb Weiss is a Pawtucket-based freelance writer who covers aging, health care and medical issues.  He can be reached at hweissri@aol.com.