Tag Archives for Ray Whitman

Pew Survey takes a look at America’s view of spirituality 

Published in RINewsToday on December 25, 2023

The late Ray Whitman, a former economist who taught at the University of the District of Columbia, didn’t really consider himself spiritual or begin his spiritual quest until his late 30s. Ray’s desire to understand his spirituality was a long, complicated and somewhat painful process, he told me, noting that a mid-life crisis at age 39 forced him to reevaluate his personal life, goals and religious beliefs, including his ties to the Episcopal Church.

Whitman’s personal crisis would lead him to exploring spiritual beliefs and activities.  During his search, he learned how to cast astrology and numerology charts, attended metaphysical church services, practiced yoga, became a Life Spring graduate and even sought advice from psychics and the counsel of gurus, even traveling to Brazil to see John of God, a self-proclaimed medium and psychic surgeon.

For years, the Rockville, Maryland economist studied the teachings and meditation practices of Guru Mayi Chidvilasananda, the current head of the Siddha Lineage of gurus.  

At the end of his life, Whitman, who passed away on Aug. 26, 2021, at the age of 85, like many Americans who described themselves as spiritual in a recent Pew Research Center report, he described himself as being spiritual and not religious and being tied to mainstream religious beliefs.

Being Religious, Spiritual, or both

Just weeks before Christmas, the Pew Research Center released a report, “Spirituality Among Americans,” that shows that belief in spirits or a spiritual realm beyond this world is widespread, even among those who don’t consider themselves religious.  Seven in 10 adults (70%) describe themselves as spiritual in some way, however, many of these individuals also view themselves as religious.  Still, 22% indicated that they consider themselves spiritual, and not religious.

According to the results of Pew’s survey, 83% of all U.S. adults believe people have a soul or spirit in addition to their physical body. Eighty-one percent of the respondents believe there is something spiritual beyond the natural world, even if we cannot see it.  Almost three-fourths of the respondents say that there are somethings that science cannot possibly explain while 45% noted that they had a sudden feeling of connection with something from beyond this world.  And 30% say that they have personally encountered a spirit or unseen spiritual force. 

Overall, the survey findings, conducted July 31-Aug. 6, 2023 among a nationally representative sample of 11,201 members of Pew’s American Trends Panel, and released on December 7, 2023, found that 70% of U.S. adults can be considered “spiritual” in some way, because they think of themselves as spiritual people, or say spirituality is very important in their lives. 

As to spiritual beliefs, the survey’s findings indicated that half of all Americans believe that spirits can inhabit burial places, such as graveyards, cemeteries or other memorial sites.  Forty-eight percent believe that parts of mountains, rivers or trees can have spirits or spiritual energy.

And respondents believed in an afterlife.  Fifty-seven percent believe that people definitely or probably can reunite with loved ones who also have  died.  About four-in-ten also accept that dead people definitely, or probably, assist, protect and guide the living (46%), be aware of what’s going on among the living (44%) or even communicate with them (42%).

As to spiritual practices, 77% of U.S. adults say they spend time in nature, usually a few times a month, and 26% note they do so to feel connected with something bigger than themselves or with their “true self.” 

When asked to describe what ‘spiritual’ means to them in their own words, one respondent said, “To me, spiritual means to be in touch with nature, see the beauty in everything, feel the love of Mother Nature, to know that there is something out there that is greater than me, that loves me, that looks out for me. I find that mostly in nature – the sun, the moon, trees, flowers, wild bunnies running through my yard, the deer standing stoically as if posing for me to enjoy their beauty. In addition, I try to follow the teaching of Jesus, because he had some pretty good advice.”

Another said, “Spiritual means to discover your own self by deep meditation and contemplation. Love everyone, hate no one.”

Thirty-eight percent of U.S. adults reported meditating at least a few times a month, including 22% who meditate mainly to connect with their “true self” or with something bigger than themselves.

Finally,  the survey’s findings reveal that for spiritual purposes more than one-third of U.S. adults say they wear a cross, and 15% say they maintain a meditation shrine, altar or icon in their home.  Twelve percent have crystals for spiritual purposes and 9% have a tattoo or piercing for spiritual purposes.

Are Spiritual beliefs superseding traditional Religious Beliefs?

The researchers say that previous research has shown a decline in traditional religious beliefs and practices, including those who say they believe in God with absolute certainty, regularly attend religious services, and pray daily.

Like Whitman, articles appear in newspapers noting that Americans are turning away from organized religion and replacing it with their “own mix of spiritual elements” drawn from Hindu, Buddhism, Native American shamanism, and New Age beliefs.

While the Pew Research Center’s survey attempts to ask questions about spiritual beliefs and practices, researchers say it’s difficult to determine if considering oneself spiritual is more or less common today.

Previous Pew Research Center surveys say it’s difficult to determine if religion is being replaced by one being spiritual because it’s difficult to define and separate those concepts.

Researchers say that this survey is intended to “fill the gap.”  These results will be used as a baseline and the re-asking of questions about spiritual and religious practices can indicate whether there is an increase or decease in one’s turning away from organized religion and just considering oneself spiritual.

Stay tuned…

To read Pew Research Center’s Spirituality report, go to:

https://www.pewresearch.org/topic/religion/

A Tale of 2 Couples

Finding Love and Romance Later in Life

Published in Senior Digest in February 2005

When young couples recite, “Till death do us part,” they expect their marriages will last for the rest of their lives.

The reality is that many don’t for a variety of reasons, including divorce. And as the divorce rate continues to climb, the number of single aging baby boomers and seniors continues to increase.

Citing the U.S. Census Bureau, a September 2003 article in AARP The Magazine states, “Of the 97 million Americans who are 45 and over, almost 40 percent — 36.2 million – are on the loose.

The dating scene for those singles can be daunting, stressful, especially for the ones who are rusty in the art of dating. Newly uncoupled older persons quickly realize that the rules have changed over the years. And singles in their 60s or 70s may find it more difficult to connect with a partner if they have chronic disorders.

Sometimes fate – “being in the “right place at the right time” – is what it takes to bring single seniors together. Independent radio producer, writer and speaker Connie Goldman can attest to that.

Five years ago, Goldman, 74, reconnected with 77-year-old Ken Tilsen, a retired lawyer who teaches at Hamline University Law School, located in the Minneapolis-St. Paul, Minn., area. A divorcee, Goldman went back to the Minneapolis area (her birth place) for a book signing at nearby Stillwater. Tilson’s daughter, who owned the bookstore, brought her widow father to the event to meet the author.

Goldman had almost 20 years of marriage under her belt before her divorce. Tilsen became a widower after a half century of marriage. While they were married, Goldman, Tilsen and their respective spouses socialized with each other in the Minneapolis-St. Paul area.

“We were all having babies and I knew his wife,” Goldman remembers.

A stint at the Washington, DC-based National Public Radio would take Goldman away from Minnesota. Ultimately, she would relocate to Southern California to pursue her career in radio. Tilsen stayed in the Midwest, practicing law.

After their reunion at the bookstore, Goldman would later return to the area for another visit. A six-hour lunch would propel the couple into a long distance relationship.

Daily telephone calls, emails and trips back and forth between the Twin Cities area and Southern California, would finally push the older couple to make a late life commitment to live together, bringing Goldman back from the West Coast.

Joining the almost 10 million older couples cohabiting in 2000, Goldman and Tilsen would not legalize their relationship. “Getting married was just too complicated,” she said, “in figuring out how to put all the finances together. We’re as committed as if we were married.”

Goldman says that a lot of thought must be given to taking on a committed relationship win your later years. “You don’t have long life in front of you, it is not like your’e mating at a younger age. People in their 70s have to look realistically at a shorter life span,” she says, adding that when one partner becomes ill, the other takes on the role of a caregiver.

“You need to look at the changes that aging brings when you get into a later life relationship,” suggests Goldman. “There are things that will come up that will change the pace of what you do and the way you do things,” she adds, noting that her partner’s recent health problems has slowed them both down.

Being single for 35 years, Goldman was forced to learn to take care of herself and to become independent. With her five-year committed relationship, there would be many lifestyle changes “when it was not just ‘me’ but ‘us'” she says.

While the workplace and church are still the best “traditional” places for aging baby boomers and seniors to meet potential mates, matchmaking services and the Internet are growing in popularity as ways to connect.

During his 20 years of being single, Dr. Ray Whitman, 68, a Rockville, Md. resident has sought to meet the right companion at his yoga organization, through personal ads placed in the Washington Post and Washington Magazine, and by being fixed up.

Another avenue that has been useful for Whitman is the internet. “The internet provides more information about a person and can enable you to find somebody to share your interests,” Whitman tells Senior Digest, noting that he has used internet dating services such as E-Harmony.com and Match.com.

Using E-Harmony.com is a bargain when looking for love, says Whitman. The Internet dating service cost s less than $ 30 a month, less expensive than taking a date to a good restaurant.

Through E-Harmony.com, Whitman met Nancy Monro, 62 about three months ago.

A retired nurse and widow, Monro found it easier to use the service than to begin dating because it provides lot of information about prospective dates as well as a safe way to communicate.

Whitman says the fact that Monro had a stable marriage of 40 years initially attracted him to her. “She was also open to the spiritual dimensions, art and music,” he said.

Deborah Beauvais, who operates a Rehobeth, Mass based company, Empowered Connections (www.lovebyintution.com) has provided matchmaking services to more than 100 people. The former executive health care recruiter established her personalized matchmaking company and used intuition to bring people together.

A newspaper columnist, Beauvais also hosts Love Bites on WARL 1320 in Providence. The show is one hour, and it covers a myriad of relationship and dating issues.

While she believes that people can misrepresent themselves on Internet dating services, she spends a lot of time trying to weed out information to find that “perfect match.”

“I meet with people and I look them in the eye, asking the over 50 personal questions,” Beauvais shares. Questions range from how they feel about dating people with children, smoking, pets, politics and sex. “People have to be on the same page on sex for the relationship to work,” she says.

For an initial $375 fee, Beauvais will ask her questions and do a simple background check. She even briefs both parties before their date, revealing interesting points to each person. “It is important to give them the do’s and don’ts in conversation,” she says, such as don’t talk angrily about your ex.

“I become their advocate to find the right person within my pool of clients or will identify others that would be a fit,” she says.

For older couples, Beauvais suggests that matchmaking may be the way to get back in the game. However, she warns that it is important to be independent and heal before jumping into a long-term relationship.