Cooling Heated Political Banter at the Christmas Dinner

Published in RINewsToday on December 22, 2025

Over the years, nearly everyone has encountered an iconic archetype at holiday gatherings: “Uncle Bob.” At Christmas dinner, Bob predictably launches into uncomfortable political arguments. Other family members scramble to avoid his decisive political chatter—some using humor, others retreating to watch football games on the tube or quickly starting side conversations to dodge conflict.

Last December, the American Psychological Association (APA) released survey findings that underscored just how common—and stressful—these moments have become at Christmas gatherings. Following a divisive presidential election, most U.S. adults said they wanted to avoid political discussions at the dinner table during the holidays, especially with family members whose views differed from their own.

According to the APA survey, released on Dec. 10, 2024, more than 7 in 10 adults (72%) hoped to not talk politics with family during the holidays. While 65% said they were not worried that political discussions would damage relationships, nearly 2 in 5 adults (39%) reported feeling stressed at the thought of politics arising at holiday gatherings.

The survey’s findings also indicated that nearly 2 in 5 adults (38%) said they are avoiding family they disagree with over the holidays. Younger adults were significantly more likely than adults 65 or older to say they plan to avoid family over the holidays (45% adults ages 18–34, 47% ages 35–44, 42% ages 45–54, and 32% ages 55–64 vs. 23% ages 65+).

Fast forward to today: political disagreements within families have not disappeared, maybe even intensified, and the upcoming Christmas season may once again be ripe for tension and emotional strain and stress.

A Surprising Strategy for Reducing Political Conflict

New research, however, may offer a practical way to cool political tensions before they ruin a Christmas gathering. According to research published by the American Psychological Association, (APA), when engaging in political discussions, talking about what you oppose—rather than what you support—can make others more open to your views.

“In an era of deepening political polarization, our research offers a counterintuitive insight into how we can better communicate across ideological lines: Talk about what you oppose, not what you support,” said lead author Rhia Catapano, PhD, of the University of Toronto, in a Dec. 15, 2025 statement announcing the findings.

In a series of experiments involving more than 10,000 participants, researchers examined how people express their political opinions and how framing—support versus opposition—affects how others respond. The study, Talking About What We Support Versus Oppose Affects Others’ Openness to Our Views, was published online in the Dec. 15, 2025, issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

In one experiment, people were randomly chosen to either provide their viewpoint on sensitive issues like abortion and gun control or hear someone else’s perspective on the same issue. All participants were told they were paired with someone who did not share their views, although no actual matching occurred.

Messages were carefully framed to express either support or opposition to a particular issue. For example, a statement supporting abortion message might read, “I support allowing abortions,” while a message framed in opposition would read, “I oppose abortion bans.”

Senders rated how persuasive they believed their messages would be in swaying their imaginary receiver. Receivers were asked to respond to messages from imaginary senders, reporting how closely the messages aligned with their values and whether they were open to reconsidering their own views.

Although senders believed support-framed messages would be more persuasive, the opposite was true. Receivers were significantly more open to messages framed in terms of opposition.

In a different experiment, researchers recruited Reddit users, creating a simulated Reddit environment in which participants could choose which post to read and engage in. Participants were more likely to select and engage with opposition-framed posts than those framed around support.

What Catapano found most striking was how subtle the change in framing actually was.

All of the actual arguments were the same for both framings, Catapano explained. Simply changing the wording of the first sentence from ‘I support X’ to ‘I oppose Y’—where Y represented the other side of the issue—was enough to increase receptiveness, she says.

How receptive people are to messages is affected not only by the arguments themselves, Catapano added, but by something as small as a single word in how those arguments are introduced.

Here’s the takeaway: small changes in how we talk about our beliefs can have outsized effects on how others respond—an insight with clear relevance for holiday conversations.

Setting Boundaries and Protecting Your Health

Two UT Southwestern Medical Center faculty members also offered guidance in a Nov. 21, 2024 MedBlog article, “Boundaries, respect, keys to political discussions at holiday family gatherings.”

Cameron W. Davis, PhD, assistant professor of psychiatry, suggests the importance of setting  personal boundaries and identify “hot” and “cold” topics before attending the family gathering to reduce the likelihood of hostile exchanges.

Sarah Woods, PhD, associate professor and vice chair of research in the Department of Family and Community Medicine, notes that strained family relationships—often intensified by clashing opinions—can have serious short- and long-term health consequences. Her research findings indicate that strained family dynamics are linked to higher rates of chronic conditions.

According to Woods, stress triggers the release of cortisol, a hormone produced by the adrenal glands that acts as the body’s alarm system. Elevated cortisol levels can disrupt sleep, trigger headaches, increase inflammation, reduce pain tolerance, and cause shortness of breath.

Practical Do’s and Don’ts for Holiday Conversations

In their MedBlog, Drs. Davis and Woods offered the following practical advice to help keep Christmas dinner civil if political banter begins to heat up:

·         Communicate respectfully. Focus on presenting facts and ideas when discussing politics and avoid making personal attacks.

·         Set emotional boundaries.Pay close attention to your internal stress responses. Taking a deep breath before and during politically charged conversations can help you stay grounded.

·         Prepare in advance.No one knows how to push your buttons like a family member. Practice how you’ll respond to difficult relatives at the family gathering—and avoid pushing their buttons in return.

·         Focus on understanding others, not winning your point. Conflict is a natural part of relationships, and understanding this can help you develop the skills needed to address it.  effectively. Acknowledging another person’s perspective doesn’t weaken your own positions. The goal to reach is having respect for the other person’s views, not, victory.

According to Drs. Davis and Woods, being able to listen carefully is a useful skill when talking about political issues that make you uncomfortable.  If you decide to discuss politics at the Christmas dinner table, focus on truly hearing the other person rather than reacting impulsively. When responding, do it in a thoughtful way that reflect your values and understanding, they say.

The MedBlog authors also noted that it’s It’s helpful to identify an ally—someone you trust and feel safe with—where you can speak openly about your position on political issues that might come up at Christmas dinner or beyond.  This allows you to “practice authenticity, think openly, and experience non-judgement listing.” This doesn’t have to be someone who agrees with you politically, but rather someone who helps create a buffer zone of emotional safety, they say.

If conversations become heated, resist making impulsive decisions about cutting them off—or cutting family members or friends out of your life, recommend Drs. Davis and Woods, recommending:  Ask yourself: Is this a disagreement worth damaging a family relationship or friendship? Would quickly acting drain energy from other priorities right now?

Drs. Davis and Woods advise that if politics come up, don’t insist others agree with you or pressure them into debate. Step back from discussions that feel emotionally draining to you, you’re not obligated to participate. Politely declining, redirecting the topic, or gauging someone’s willingness to talk can prevent unnecessary tension.

Finally, having a plan can reduce stress, too. If you’re attending a gathering with a spouse or partner, get on the same page beforehand. Decide which topics are off-limits and how long you want to stay. Create a subtle signal—a hand gesture, a wink, or a touch on the shoulder—to defuse tension and awkward moments or cue your partner to step in.

A Final Note… Over the years, when I go to Christmas gatherings, my son, and I often differ on politics and other issues. When we don’t see eye to eye, I simply say, “Well, we can agree to disagree.” That usually settles the discussion once and for all.

Enjoy your Christmas gathering.

Study: One in Five Americans Are Unpaid Family Caregivers

Published in the Woonsocket Call on May 17, 2020

As the nation sees a growing number of aging baby boomers, workforce shortages in health care and long-term care settings, increased state funding for community-based services, and a growing number of seniors requiring assistance in their daily activities, caregivers are needed more than ever. According to a recently released report from National Alliance for Caregiving (NAC) and AARP, an increasing number of unpaid family caregivers are stepping up to the plate to care for their older family members or friends. The caregiver report’s findings indicate that the number of family caregivers in the United States increased by 9.5 million from 2015 (43.5 million) to 2020 (53 million) and now encompasses more than one in five Americans (19 percent).

First conducted in 1997, with follow up surveys in 2004, 2009 and 2015, the Caregiving in the U.S. studies are one of the most comprehensive resources describing the American caregiver. Caregiving in the U.S. 2020 was conducted by Greenwald &a Associates using a nationally representative, probability-based online panel. More than 1,700 caregivers who were age 18 or older participated in the survey in 2019.

Demand for Caregiving Rising as Nation’s Population Gets Older

The 107-page Caregiving in the U.S. 2020 report also reveals that family caregivers are in worse health compared to five years ago. As the demand for caregiving rises with the graying of the nation’s population, the report calls for more be done to support this vital work.

“As we face a global pandemic, we’re relying on friends and family to care for the older adults and people living with disabilities in our lives,” notes C. Grace Whiting, JD, President and CEO of NAC, in a May 14 statement announcing the release of this report. “Caregivers are essential to the nation’s public health, and the magnitude of millions of Americans providing unpaid care means that supporting caregivers can no longer be ignored, she says, noting that report’s findings reveals that growing need.

According to Whiting, family caregivers care for more people than five years ago and they take on more care responsibilities as roughly one in four care for two or more people. “Many individuals are caring for a longer time, with nearly a third (29 percent) of caregivers nationwide reporting they have been caregiving for five years or more—up from 24 percent in the last study,” states Whiting.

Who are today’s caregivers?

This new caregiver study shows that 39 percent are men and 61 percent are women. The average age is 49.4 years. The profile of the family caregiver is also changing, too. While caregiving spans across all generations, Caregiving in the U.S. 2020 found more young people providing care, including 6 percent who are Gen Z and 23 percent who are Millennials. Nearly half (45 percent) are caring for someone with two or more conditions—a significant jump from 37 percent in 2015.

As to ethnicity, the caregiver report notes that six in 10 are non-Hispanic White (61 percent), 17 percent are Hispanic, and 14 percent are African American.

The report’s findings indicate that one in 10 of the caregiver survey respondents are enrolled in college or taking classes (11 percent), 9 percent have served in the military and 8 percent self-identify as lesbian, gay, bisexual, and/or transgender.

Caregivers in Poorer Health, Feeling Financial Strain

Caregiving in the U.S. 2020 also found that caregivers face health challenges of their own with nearly a quarter (23 percent of caregivers find it hard to take care of their own health and 23 percent say caregiving has made their health worse. The report also notes that personal finances are a concern for family caregivers: 28 percent have stopped saving money, 23 percent have taken on more debt and 22 percent have used up personal short-term savings.
Sixty one percent of the caregiver respondents work and have difficulty in coordinating care.

The May 2020 caregiver report states on average, caregivers spend 23.7 hours a week providing care, with one in three (32 percent) providing care for 21 hours or more, and one in five (21 percent) providing care for 41+ hours—the equivalent of a full-time unpaid job.

“The coronavirus pandemic is exacerbating the challenges family caregivers were already facing from a personal health, financial and emotional standpoint,” said Susan Reinhard, RN, PhD, Senior Vice President at AARP. “Family caregivers provide vital help and care for their loved ones, yet this survey shows that they keep getting stretched thinner and thinner. We must identify and implement more solutions to support family caregivers—both in the short term as we grapple with coronavirus and in the long term as our population ages and the number of family caregivers declines.”

: “Without greater explicit support for family caregivers in coordination among the public and private sectors and across multiple disciplines overall care responsibilities will likely intensify and place greater pressure on individuals within families, especially as baby boomers move into old age,” warns the report’s authors, calling on Congress and state lawmakers to develop policies that ensure that caregivers do not suffer deteriorating health effects and financial insecurity.

Thoughts from AARP Rhode Island…

“The wealth of information in this report is an essential guide to policymakers,” said AARP Rhode Island State Director Kathleen Connell. “It reveals important trends and underlines future needs. For AARP, it provides information on how, as an organization, we can best serve Rhode Island’s 136,000 family caregivers. The challenges they face vary, making it very important that we can provide focused resources that meet any one caregiver’s needs. The report’s overall takeaway – that the number of caregivers is rising dramatically – is a call for increased awareness and support. This responsibility starts at the very top of federal, state and municipal government and flows all the way down to family members who can better share caregiving responsibilities. Many will be asked to step outside their comfort zone, so we all will have to work together,” adds Connell.

Connell noted that the report points out the shift from traditional residential health care settings to community-based settings. “The research reaches a clear conclusion,” Connell observed. “Families will have to fill new roles, learn new skills and absorb more out of pocket caregiving expenses. This will create additional the stress for many family caregivers. That’s why it is so important that we develop the training, tools and other resources caregivers require.”

A 2019 AARP report, Valuing the Invaluable, calculated that Rhode Island family caregivers provide 114 million unpaid hours of care annually. Based on the average $15.76 per hour wages of paid caregivers, family caregivers represent an economic value of an estimated $1.8 billion.

The 2020 study was funded by AARP, Best Buy Health Inc. d/b/a Great Call, EMD Serono Inc., Home Instead Senior Care®, The Gordon and Betty Moore Foundation, The John A. Hartford Foundation, TechWerks, Transamerica Institute, and UnitedHealthcare.

For a copy of Caregiving in the U.S. 2020, go to
https://www.aarp.org/content/dam/aarp/ppi/2020/05/full-report-caregiving-in-the-united-states.doi.10.26419-2Fppi.00103.001.pdf.

Taking a Look at Physical Activity and Cardiac Health

Published in Woonsocket Call on March 8, 2020

Spring time is coming. Get out your walking shoes…

Physical exercise (that doesn’t have to be strenuous to be effective) can lead to longer, healthier lives, according to two preliminary research study findings presented at the American Heart Association’s Epidemiology and Prevention | Lifestyle and Cardiometabolic P Scientific Sessions 2020. The EPI Scientific Sessions, held March 3-6 in Phoenix, is considered to be the premier global exchange of the latest advances in population-based cardiovascular science for researchers and clinicians.

“Finding a way to physically move more in an activity that suits your capabilities and is pleasurable is extremely important for all people, and especially for older people who may have risk factors for cardiovascular diseases. Physical activities such as brisk walking can help manage high blood pressure and high cholesterol, improve glucose control among many benefits,” said Barry A. Franklin, Ph.D., past chair of both the American Heart Association’s Council on Physical Activity and Metabolism and the National Advocacy Committee, director of preventive cardiology and cardiac rehabilitation at Beaumont Health in Royal Oak, Michigan, and professor of internal medicine at Oakland University William Beaumont School of Medicine in Rochester, Michigan.

In one session, Dr. Andrea Z. LaCroix, Ph.D., of the University of California San Diego (UCSD), presented her study’s findings that showed the importance of walking, stressing that every step counts in reducing cardiovascular disease deaths among older women.

USCD’s study was supported by The National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute of the National Institutes of Health.

According to the UCSD study’s findings, women who walked 2,100 to 4,500 steps daily reduced their risk of dying from cardiovascular diseases (including heart attacks, heart failure, and stroke) by up to 38 percent, compared to women who walked less than 2,100 daily steps. The women who walked more than 4,500 steps per day reduced their risk by 48 percent, in this study of over 6,000 women with an average age of 79.

LaCroix says that the UCSD study’s findings also indicated that the cardio-protective effect of more steps taken per day was present even after the researchers took into consideration heart disease risk factors, including obesity, elevated cholesterol, blood pressure, triglycerides and/or blood sugar levels, and was not dependent on how fast the women walked.

“Despite popular beliefs, there is little evidence that people need to aim for 10,000 steps daily to get cardiovascular benefits from walking. Our study showed that getting just over 4,500 steps per day is strongly associated with reduced risk of dying from cardiovascular disease in older women,” said LaCroix, the lead study author who serves as distinguished professor and chief of epidemiology at the UCSD. Co-authors of the study are John Bellettiere, Ph.D., mph; Chongzhi Di, Ph.D.; Michael J. Lamonte, Ph.D., M.P.H.

“Taking more steps per day, even just a few more, is achievable, and step counts are an easy-to-understand way to measure how much we are moving. There are many inexpensive wearable devices to choose from. Our research shows that older women reduce their risk of heart disease by moving more in their daily life, including light activity and taking more steps. Being up and about, instead of sitting, is good for your heart,” said LaCroix.

LaCroix’s study included more than 6,000 women enrolled in the Women’s Health Initiative with an average age of 79 who wore an accelerometer on their waist to measure their physical activity for seven days in a row; these participants were followed for up to seven years for heart disease death.

This study was prospective, and half of the participants were African-American or Hispanic, stated LaCroix, noting that the use of an accelerometer to measure movement is a strength of the study. However, the study did not include men or people younger than 60, she said, calling for future research to examine step counts and other measures of daily activity across the adult age range among both men and women.

In another session, Joowon Lee, Ph.D., a researcher at Boston University (BU) in Boston, noted that higher levels of light physical activity are associated with lower risk of death from any cause.

According to the findings of BU’s study, older adults were 67 percent less likely to die of any cause if they were moderately or vigorously physically active for at least 150 minutes per week, (a goal recommended by the American Heart Association) compared to people who exercised less.

However, the researchers observed that, among the participants with an average age of 69, physical activity doesn’t have to be strenuous to be effective. Each 30-minute interval of light-intensity physical activities – such as doing household chores or casual walking – was associated with a 20 percent lower risk of dying from any cause, they said, noting that on the other hand, every additional 30-minutes of being sedentary was related to a 32 percent higher risk of dying from any cause.

“Promoting light-intensity physical activity and reducing sedentary time may be a more practical alternative among older adults,” said Joowon.

The BU research study, supported by the National Heart, Lung, and Blood Institute of the National Institutes of Health, evaluated physical activity levels of 1,262 participants from the ongoing Framingham Offspring Study. These participants were an average age of 69 (54 percent women), and they were instructed to wear a device that objectively measured physical activity for at least 10 hours a day, for at least four days a week between 2011 and 2014.

The researchers say that the strengths of this study include its large sample size and the use of a wearable device to objectively measure physical activity. However, the participants of the Framingham Offspring Study are white, so it is unclear if these findings would be consistent for other racial groups, they note.

Co-authors of the study are Nicole L. Spartano, Ph.D.; Ramachandran S. Vasan, M.D. and Vanessa Xanthakis Ph.D.