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Great Futures Start at Boys and Girls Club of Pawtucket

Published in Pawtucket Times, May 24, 2013

Founded over 113 years ago, more than 100,000 youngsters have come through the doors of the Boys and Girls Club of Pawtucket (BGCP). The lives of these young children, most coming from blue-collar families, were shaped by the opportunity of daily contact with adult mentors. They also developed friendship and camaraderie with their young peers, all this giving them life lessons that would ultimately propel them into successful careers.

Learning Valuable Life Lessons.

Daniel Brito, 42, executive director of Blackstone Valley Youth & Family Collaborative, Inc., formerly from Pawtucket’s Woodlawn neighborhood, now living with his wife, Jane, a graphic designer, and 11-year-old daughter, Alivia in East Providence, remembers his younger days at the Pawtucket Club.

For over a decade, Brito, a nonprofit executive, oversees an agency that provides residential and community based supports to adolescent males ages 17-21. Currently his staff of 25 employees provide services to 20 clients, this funded by the State of Rhode Island, Department of Children Youth & Families. The young man has also worked in the fields of business development, project management, construction, customer service, social work, and even co-owned three Dunkin Donuts in Maryland.

In 1977, Brito, age 7, began his membership at the Pawtucket Club, including attending summer camp, with John his eleven year old brother. Brito, states his father, a merchant marine and mother, a worker at Monet Jewelry, enrolled their young boys at the BGCP to give them an opportunity to participate in supervised activities rather than just letting them play at the park or on the street.

Over the years, Brito’s involvement with the Club would evolve into becoming an employee for six years. He was named “Youth of The Year”, in 1988 and continues to assist as a judge in the annual youth of the year competition.

According to Brito, being a BGCP member for 15 years gave him the life skills to succeed in life. Personal attention from staff enhanced his self-esteem, even their constant encouragement to attend college along with their “real life advice” were key factors that pushed him into attending college, where he ultimately was awarded a Bachelor of Art Degree in Elementary Education from Rhode Island College. He is the first in his family to attend college.

Team sport activities, overseen by the late Mike Pappas, along with young Jim Hoyt and Peter Lavellee, even had an impact on his future management style, that is “the benefit of team work far out weighs the benefit of working as an individual.”

Being a BGCP Trustee and member of its Governance Committee and as well as a Board member of Cape Verdean American Community Development Agency, allows him to give back to the current BGCP members and to his cultural community.

Pushing Yourself, “Never Say Can’t”

As Brito, Kristin Lyons, 43, a licensed clinical social work with 20 years working in the Domestic Violence field, who serves as Executive Director of the Providence-based Women’s Center of Rhode Island, became involved with the BGCP at age 6, living at that time in Pawtucket’s Darlington neighborhood.

Lyons and her sister, Susan, would join the BGCP to learn the art of swimming at its East Avenue site. She would ultimately swim on its swim team, receiving awards and recognition, beginning at elementary school ending with her graduation at Tolman High School.

Being on the swim team taught the young child to understand the importance of being part of the team. “Obviously you improved yourself individually but you worked for the team,” she said. More over, she vividly remembers Hoyt, teaching her to never use the word “can’t.” This taught Lyons to push herself as far as she could and not give up. “A very good life lesson,” she says, noting that “You have to think you can do it if you want to succeed with your goals and work toward your dreams.”

“Being part of a community, being a member of the swim team family, and having adult role models around were important for me reaching my goals,” said Lyons. Her parents would both volunteer at swimming meets, her father being a judge and timer and her mother also timing, working concessions and helping with score keeping.

Lyons claims the BGCP taught her to work hard to achieve her goals, one being attending college. She would graduate from Northeastern University with a Bachelor of Science in Criminal Justice in 1993 and from Salem State College with a Master of Social Work in 2000. She was a member of the 2006 Leadership Rhode Island Class.

Now, serving as BGCP’s second vice president, after her service as a trustee and board member for six years, Lyons works tirelessly to ensure that the nonprofit group can meet the needs of future generations. .

A Life-Time Commitment

Seventy-three-year old, Philip A. Ayoub, owner of Pawtucket-based Ayoub Engineering, has very long ties with the Club, that is over 67 years.

The respected civil engineer, also a Pawtucket Hall of Fame and BGCP Hall of Fame inductee, became a BGCP member at age 6, along with his two brothers Naseem, age 7, and Edward, age 5. He remembered at the time he became a member in 1946, there was no emphasis on education, only vocational trades, such as printing and woodworking, and sports activities. The late Mike Pappas taught him to have respect for authority, to take responsibility for his actions, along with giving him an opportunity to participate in “honest [sports] competition.” He learned how to interact with “kids he did not know,” who came from different backgrounds and ethnicities.

Heeding his parents’ advice that “to have a good life you need an education,” Ayoub would receive a Bachelor of Science Degree in Civil Engineering from the University of Rhode Island.

While his many awards he received at the BGCP are packed up, he has proudly hung in his office pictures of him being recognized as the Boy of the Year in 1953, and his BGCP Service to Youth Awards, from serving 20 plus years on the Board including being its President for two consecutive, three year terms.

Says Ayoub, “For me, my interest in the Club when I reached a level of professional success was to give something back. The more involved I became with the Club, the more inspired I became seeing young children developing into mature, responsible citizens.”

Thoughts from the Top Exec

Jim Hoyt, the BGCP’s long-time chief executive officer, sees a need for facility improvements to handle a growing membership. Over the last decade, membership has increased from 3,000 to 4,500. Not surprising, daily attendance has jumped, now hovering around 300 children, ages 5-18, coming to the Club daily. Ultimately, with the conclusion of a planned expansion, “we’ll have 500 to 600 kids attending each day after-school.”

Youth join the BGCP for help with homework and tutoring and for assurance from a staff of caring and nurturing youth development professionals. They participate in year-round recreation and sports activities. They enjoy a hot, nutritious meal at dinnertime. They take classes in art, theatre and dance. They learn to use computers. They receive career guidance and advice. They find friendship. They gain self-respect. In essence, they realize their full potential.

The Club is all about providing opportunities to kids, Hoyt says. “We want them to graduate from high school, be good people and contributing members of society, and to live healthy lives,” he remarks, noting that “Everything we do is aimed at these three outcomes.”

Hoyt says, over time, the BGCP has become a highly regarded, award-winning youth development organization with thriving, innovative enrichment and recreational programs and an ever-increasing daily enrollment.

BGCP is moving in the right direction, says Hoyt. “Our board is incredible! They are passionate, engaged, and outstanding examples of what a board should be. Close to half are former members of the Club,” he says.

And, Hoyt notes that his board is 150% behind the current expansion project, donating more than a half a million dollars to this project. “Their timely generosity helped us meet a $1 million challenge grant from The Champlin Foundations,” he says.

Hoyt is pleased that BGCP’s Capital Campaign is on target. “We are exactly where we hoped to be at this point – but we definitely have some work ahead of us as we look to break ground next year. We have raised close to $5.5 Million, with an ultimate goal of $8 Million: $7 Million will be for the Capital Project – with another $1 Million for program endowment to support the increased operations,” he remarks.

The planned expansion will build a Club that will allow the Pawtucket nonprofit to serve more kids, and to serve them better. A newly designed and enhanced Clubhouse will provide a new teen center and gym for teen members, centralized visual and performing arts spaces, better functionality in our pre-teen area which will reduce overcrowding in education, technology, at mealtime, and beyond – and allow for safer, more controlled access to the building.

Once the build out is completed, Hoyt expects to see the daily attendance to jump to around 600 members, with a primary goal of attracting more at-risk teens by doubling the space dedicated to them. Expanded daily service hours for each age group, combined with expanded space, will enhance programming for education and career preparation, the arts, and healthy lifestyles.

Hoyt expects to break ground in March of 2014. The summer will be spent renovating the interior of the existing building so that programming and services can begin again by September. The addition of the new Teen Center will be completed over the course of the Fall, with a ribbon cutting for the new facility in January of 2015.

Today, generations of BGCP members have joined, come and gone. But, positive experiences combined with being provided with the right tools to succeed, have given them a leg up to become successful in their professional careers, contributing to the betterment of society.

For membership and programming information visit http://www.bgcpawt.org or to learn more about the BGCP’s Building Better Futures Capital and Endowment Campaign, call the Club at 401-722-8840 to set up a tour.

Herb Weiss, LRI’12 is a Pawtucket-based writer covering aging, health care and medical issues. He can be reached at hweissri@aol.com.

Conquering Cancer Through Living Fearlessly

Published in Pawtucket Times, November 9, 2012 

             We’ve heard it before – “don’t sweat the small stuff”,  “do not fear death…only the unlived life”, “live your life to the fullest”.  Anita Moorjani, 50, only knows the truth behind these familiar sayings all too well because of a Near Death Experience (NDE) she had in 2006.

             In Moorjani’s book, Dying to be Me: My Journey From Cancer To Near Death, To True Healing, published in 2012 by Hay Houses, USA, the Hong Kong-resident recounts stories of her childhood, being raised Hindu while residing in a largely Chinese and British society in Hong Kong.   Throughout her adult life, she faced challenges to find a  profession, eventually found her one true love,  husband Danny, and eventually fought her devastating cancer, which lead to her death, but ultimately came back to life and became healed, an outcome that today baffles the medical world.

             The 191 page inspirational tome tells how Moorjani fought against Stage IV lymphoma for almost four years, ultimately a terminal disease that spread from the base of her skull, which traveled over her neck and down to her abdomen.  Her body was riddled with malignant tumors, “some the size of lemons”, she recalls.            

            As a result of her near death experience, and the publicity generated by her book, Moorjani now speaks at conferences and events around the world to share her insights gained from her Near Death Experience.  She is also a frequent guest at The University of Hong Kong’s department of behavioral sciences speaking on topics such as dealing with terminal illness, facing death, and the psychology of spiritual beliefs. 

 Crossing Over

             By the morning of February 2, 2006, Moorjani was wheel-chair bound, on oxygen and receiving full-time care at home.  She was sliding in and out of consciousness while experiencing breathing difficulties due to fluid in her lungs.  Her body was swollen with open skin lesions and she was soon admitted to the local hospital in a coma.  Her outcome was grim, and the attending physician informed her husband that he did not expect her to survive for another 36 hours.

              Now in the ICU and having been in a coma for nearly 20 hours, the forty-four year old woman’s vital organs began to fail. In fact, she was ultimately pronounced dead.  Moorjani recalls entering into a “NDE”, having a spiritual epiphany while on the other side of death’s veil.  She came to understand the ultimate cause of her devastating medical condition, which she reports as  “being fearful of life”.  When she chose to return to her physical body, Moorjani knew that she indeed had the power to heal her body of the spreading cancer,  knowing with certainty that this medical miracle would occur.

             Over a six month period after her NDE, Moorjani was given chemotherapy,  even though every medical test revealed no trace of cancer.  A lymph node biopsy also revealed no cancer in any of her lymph nodes.

.            Like millions of others who have reported NDE, Moorjani had experienced many of its classic traits.  She recalls having “an extreme sense of peace and well-being, an intense feeling of unconditional love”, and became reunited with deceased family and friends and spiritual guides.

             Her book noted that even in a coma in this very deep NDE, she was acutely aware of her surroundings.  She heard a physician tell her husband, outside her room in the corridor, that her organs were failing and she would not last the night.  In her NDE she knew that her brother was on a plane coming to say his goodbyes, too.

             On the other side, Moorjani recounts in this book how she received profound knowledge about her life, mission and purpose of life with an understanding of the nature of the universe as well.  When the terminally ill woman approached the boundary of no return, she remembers she had a decision to make, to stay and sever ties with her sickly body, or come back to heal and accomplish her life’s mission.   Choosing to voluntarily return to her disease-ridden body, upon regaining consciousness, she knew that her body would be quickly healed of cancerous tumors. She was released from the hospital within weeks, without a trace of cancer in her body.

             With an increased belief in the God-force within, no longer would Moorjani fear death, and this experience fueled her desire to confront life fearlessly.

 NDE Is a Common Occurrence

            Over the years, Jeffrey Long, M.D., a leading NDE researcher, has documented over 3,000 NDEs, posted on the www.nderf.org website. The practicing radiation oncologist says that this data base is by far the largest collection of NDEs, available in 22 languages, that is publicly accessible.  Readers from over 100 different foreign countries access Dr. Long’s web site monthly.  Over 300,000 pages are read from this website every month.

            Meanwhile, Dr. Long’s website, notes that although most people who come near death do not remember anything, around 18% later report that “something happened.”  That “something” is often a near-death experience NDE, says Long.  He notes a 1993 Gallop Poll estimated that 12 to 15 million Americans personally experienced a NDE.  As of 2001, almost 600 adults per day across the nation experience an NDE.

            According to Dr. Long, who penned the New York Times bestseller, Evidence of the Afterlife: The Science of Near-Death Experiences, Moorjani’s, NDE is “one of the most profound NDEs ever reported.  The insights that she received during her NDE are profound, yet corroborated by the insights of many other NDErs.”

            Dr. Long noted, “I have carefully reviewed Anita Moorjani’s incredible recovery and NDE.  It is medically inexplicable.  Doctor’s don’t like to use the term ‘miracle’, but that is the best word to describe her experience.”

            While he did not review her original medical records, one physician did. In an email and a press release, promoting a workshop to discuss Moorjani’s  rapid remission from an advanced stage of cancer, Dr. Peter Ko, an oncologist who reviewed her medical records did not attribute her dramatic recovery to her chemotherapy.  “Based on what we have learned about cancer cell behaviors, I speculate that something (non-physical…”information”?) either switched off the mutated genes from expressing, or signaled them to a programmed cell death.  The exact mechanism is unknown to us, but not likely to be the result of cytotoxic drugs.” 

Lessons Learned from Beyond the Veil

            Moorjani now believes that her cancer manifested in her physical body due to the fear of being herself, displeasing others, not measuring up to their expectations andthe fear of living life to the fullest.  In fact, it was being “fearful of everything,” said the internationally recognized writer, that blocked her greater essence from healing the physical body.  

            “Only when I realized my own magnificence, my own perfection, my own self worth as a beautiful child of the universe, was I able to let go of fear and embrace life with all its uncertainties, ambiguities, joys, sorrows, and challenges. Seeing myself as perfection, as an exquisite manifestation of life, led to my healing,” she said. 

            Moreover, a prevalent part of her experience was the realization that we are all interconnected and when she was not in her body she was able to clearly see this. 

            Finally, “laughter and a good sense of humor can be your best medicine” – Moorjani recommends not to take your life too seriously, just “Learn to lighten up and laugh. Don’t be afraid of just being yourself.”

            For more information about Moorjani’s NDE and her philosophies of living life fearlessly, or to purchase her book, go to  www.anitamoorjani.com,

            Herb Weiss, LRI ’12, is a Pawtucket-based freelance writer who covers aging, health care and medical issues.  He be contacted at hweissri@aol.com

The Best of…Call the Samaritans for a Shoulder to Lean On

Published on December 24, 2001, Pawtucket Times

             Chestnuts roasting on the fire.  Green wreaths with red ribbons. Soothing Christmas music coming from speakers in shopping malls.  Houses decorated with long strands of brightly colored lights.  Decorated evergreen trees.

            Got the Christmas spirit?  Many do, but many don’t, especially if they are seniors.

           With Christmas tomorrow, not everyone is feeling the holiday spirit.  The  holidays may be a very difficult time for seniors, particularly the elderly who have lost spouses and friends, have painful chronic illnesses or feel isolated or powerless, says Cynthia Barry, M.S.W, executive director of the Mental Health Association of Rhode Island.  At this time “some may feel depressed and even suicidal.”

            Even drinking during the holidays can put seniors at a higher risk of experiencing depression and thinking about suicide, Barry adds.

            Even drinking during the holidays can put seniors at a higher risk of experiencing depression and thinking about suicide, Barry adds.

            But the stigma of mental illness will keep older persons from seeking out needed treatment for their depression or suicidal thoughts, Barry says.  Those who feel that they have a problem with depression should visit their local mental health care, neighborhood health canter, the family physician or even private practitioners re commended by their health plan, she says.

            Carolyn Pellegrino, deputy director of Self Help, Inc., a nonprofit community action agency in the East Bay that provides senior case management to all upper East Bay communities and both Pawtucket and Central Falls, , notes that 60 percent of her older clients usually involve  persons who just worry to those experiencing severe clinical depression.

           “There’s a lot of depression out there,” Pellegrino says, adding that today’s seniors, who grew up in a different era, were told not to dal with their feelings of depression, “just get on with your life.”

          Although depression, like heart diseased, is an illness, seniors will get treated for their heart disease, but not their depression, Pellegrino says.  Oftentimes, a combination of medication and therapy can do wonders about a person’s depression, she states.

          A newly released Public Service Announcement (PSA) tells seniors to seek out another resource to fight the holiday blues.  Last week, WHJJ and B101 played a PSA featuring well-know songwriter Bill Withers who, after singing a few lines of his popular song, “Lean on Me,” urges his radio listeners “feeling low with nowhere to turn to contact The Samaritans.”

        Directed to the lonely, the depressed and suicidal, the PSA is intended to raise the awareness of the existence of The Samaritans of Rhode Island, a nonprofit program dedicated to reducing the  occurrence of suicide by reaching out to the despairing and lonely.

          Denise Panichas, serving as The Samaritans’ interim executive director states the communication-based program, established in Providence in 1979, teaches volunteers to effectively listen to people who are in crisis.  Conversations are free, confidential, most important anonymous.

         A rigorous training program teachers volunteers to feel and think without expressing personal judgements or opinions, Panichas says, noting that the listening technique, called “befriending,” calls for 90 percent listening and 10 percent talking.

          Last year, more than 20,o00 Rhode Islanders called The Samaritans, Panichas said.  The Samaritans, Panichas said.  “It doesn’t matter what the problem is, be it depression, suicidal thoughts, seeking resources for mental health services in the community or being  lonely and just needing to talk,” she said.

          Panichas notes that The Samaritans also offers other needed resources to caregivers and older Rhode Islanders. “We do community education programs and also have our peer-to-peer Safe Place Support Group for those left behind by suicide.

          For seniors who are looking for something to do with their time, the art of “befriending” is something that anybody can do.  Becoming a compassionate listener to someone in need.

         Herb Weiss is a Pawtucket-freelance writer who covers health care, aging and medical issues.  He can be reached at hweissri@aol.com.