Tag Archives for health

Surviving, even thriving, when caring for a person with Alzheimer’s

Published in RINewsToday on March 3, 2025

Last Wednesday, Colleen Kelly Mellor, author and former feature writer for the Providence Journal, captivated a crowd at the Coventry Library with a talk about her caregiving journey. In her inspiring presentation, Mellor shared how she not only survived but thrived while caring for her husband, who suffers from Alzheimer’s disease.

Mellor, 79, has had a multifaceted career—raising two daughters, teaching school for over 30 years, and working as a realtor for nine years. The prolific writer is no stranger to seeing the devastating impacts of Alzheimer’s. Her father, two brothers and two cousins died of the cognitive disease.  And for the past 15 years, she has been her husband’s primary caregiver. For 13 of those years, she single-handedly managed his care, from ensuring he attended doctor’s appointments to overseeing his medications.  

This journey led her to write her latest book, Az and Me: A Partner’s Journey with Alzheimer’s.

The 284-page book, published last May, is a must-read for America’s caregivers. “The caregiving journey was so demanding, I felt compelled to write a book about what I learned—something that could help others,” Mellor explained. “I want to make sure they don’t repeat the mistakes I made, especially when I was uninformed, like not knowing about veteran benefits.”

What is the core message of Az and Me? Mellor stresses the importance of caregivers taking care of themselves. “Caregivers need to prioritize their own well-being, just like the airlines say: put the mask on yourself first, then on your child,” she says, adding that her book provides caregivers with the tools they need to do just that.

The Caregiver Journey Begins

“You can step out of the wreckage of your life’s journey,” Mellor encourages. “Keep stepping forward—even when you don’t want to and can’t see any change for the better. It will come if you persist.”

Mellor knows firsthand what that perseverance looks like. She admits that when her partner, Paul Wesley Gates, was first diagnosed with Alzheimer’s, she was unsure of what it truly meant to be a caregiver. But her message to caregivers, shared during last week’s library talk, was clear: find your footing and keep moving forward.

Mellor acknowledges that she paid the price for being uninformed. “I was one of those caregivers,” she says. Seven years ago, Mellor suffered a herniated disc and became disabled. At that time, she had no support system in place to help care for her husband, a 20-year career military veteran with Alzheimer’s. As she received medical treatment, she had to bring Paul to her appointments and medical tests because she had no support. “I prayed he’d still be sitting in the waiting room when I came out,” she recalled. During this period, Mellor had to place her husband in a care facility for a brief time. The cost? $8,000. Despite initially planning to keep him there for a month, Mellor pulled him out after just four days. The services promised to her were never delivered.

Through this experience, Mellor learned a valuable lesson: the importance of understanding available benefits. “I was paying full price for day care when I could have used my husband’s veteran benefits, which would’ve covered three of the four days,” she said. “No one—no doctor, social worker, or even facility—told me about the benefits he was entitled to,” Mellor added. “He could have stayed at a Vet-approved facility for free because of his military service, and I could have received respite care.”

For the past two years, Mellor has been visiting Paul, now 83, at the Veterans Home in Bristol. She and Paul married at her daughter’s home in East Greenwich last December so that, according to federal rules, she could be buried with her husband in Rhode Island’s Veterans Memorial Cemetery.  

A Guide for America’s Caregivers

Mellor is an advocate at heart, which is reflected in all of her self-published books. “I’m an advocate for people,” she says. In her children’s books, Grandpa and the Truck (Books 1 & 2), Mellor highlights the important role of truckers in our daily lives. In Boomerrrang, her real estate background shines through as she cautions people about buying and selling property. And in Az and Me, she champions the cause of caregivers and veterans.

Her Alzheimer’s book is easy to read, with super short chapters (just 1-2 pages). It’s meant to reach out to caregivers and share her journey, as well as provide practical tips to avoid the mistakes she made. Through her book and group presentations in Rhode Island, Connecticut, and Massachusetts, Mellor helps caregivers avoid pitfalls while navigating the demanding role of care provider.

Mellor shares snapshots of her and her husband’s life, highlighting the challenges they faced and offering practical strategies she used to cope with the stresses of caregiving. In her book, she explains how to determine eligibility for Veterans’ benefits and what those benefits cover. She also advises hiring a certified elder law attorney if needed, someone who understands the complexities of Medicaid eligibility, nursing home admissions, Medicare, Social Security, guardianship, and estate planning.

In her book, Mellor offers several practical tips for managing the challenges of caregiving. For example, when caring for someone with short-term memory loss, she suggests dressing your loved one in bright, easily visible colors. This makes it easier to spot them if they wander. She also recommends giving them a fake handbag or billfold, rather than the real deal, so you can easily access important medical documents. Mellor also shares tips on how to handle tough decisions, like when it’s time to take away the keys to the car. It’s one of the hardest decisions, she admits, but it’s necessary when it’s no longer safe for them to drive.

She advises caregivers to join an Alzheimer’s support group, choose a doctor they feel comfortable with, and divide caregiving responsibilities among family members. “A son can take Dad to his regular haircut appointment, then they can go out for lunch,” Mellor suggests.

Finally, she encourages caregivers to find moments of humor throughout the experience. “Laughter can be a lifesaver,” she says.Mellor likens her book to a box of chocolates: some pieces are sweet, others not so much—but all are essential. “There’s humor in it because my mission is to help caregivers cope and even thrive, not just survive,” she says.

In the end, Mellor sees Az and Me as a love story—one that shows how she and her husband found joy, even in the face of his debilitating disease.

To purchase Az and Me: A Partner’s Journey with Alzheimer’s ($20) or for more details about scheduling a speaking engagement, go to colleenkellymellor.com or call 401-480-3403.  

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First Senate Aging Committee hearing of new congress looks at wellness

Published in RINewsToday on February 3, 2025

Over a week after the 119th Congress began on Friday, Jan. 3, U.S. Sen. Rick Scott (R-Fla.) took the reins of the U.S. Special Committee on Aging, becoming its 20thchairman. He follows in the footsteps of former Chairman Sen. Bob Casey (D-Pa.), a 3-term Democratic Senator, who lost his reelection bid for a fourth term to Republican Dave McCormick. a West Point graduate, combat veteran and bronze star recipient, a national security, expert, and former hedge fund manager.

On Wednesday afternoon, on Jan. 15 in SD 106, Scott chaired the first Senate Aging Committee hearing of the new Congress, entitled “Improving Wellness Among Seniors: Setting a Standard for the American Dream.” The hearing, lasting two hours and seven minutes, put the spotlight on America’s senior health, personal and community safety and the benefits of socializing and working later in life. 

While established in 1961 as a temporary committee, the Senate Aging Committee became a permanent Senate committee in 1977.  Over the years, aging advocates say that committee has operated in a bipartisan manor.  And the Florida Senator says he will carry on this tradition.

In his opening statement, the Republican Chairman stressed that aging is not a partisan issue. “Whether or not we’d like to admit it or note, we are all aging, and it impacts every single one of us regardless of political party” he said.

“I believe we have a big opportunity in this Committee to work in a bipartisan manner to support and improve the lives of America’s current senior citizens and create change that will improve both the lifespan and health span of future generations, said Chairman Scott, pledging that he and his staff will “work together with all the members here to find common ground and ways we can advance or shared goals.”

As chairman, Scott’s goals are to make sure every senior can say that they are physically healthy, financially secure, live in a safe community and has family and community support. “If you have all four of these things, your senior years can be the best time of your life,” he notes.

Sen. Kristin Gillibrand (D-N.Y.), the ranking member who has served on the Senate Aging Committee since 2009, congratulated Scott for assuming his chairmanship position, “I look forward to working closely with you during this Congress,” she said, in her opening statement.

According to the Democratic Senator, the Senate Aging Committee has a long history of bipartisanship. “I hope we continue that tradition to advance an agenda that makes sure our loved ones can age with the support they need and with dignity and respect,” she said.

Gillibrand reported that she hopes to continue working on lower prescription drug costs, continuing to guard against financial scams, and protecting programs that older adults and people with disabilities rely on, such as Social Security, Medicaid, and Medicare. 

The ranking member noted that this hearing would address how to promote wellness among older adults. “We’ll address issues like accessible housing, financial security, and engagement with the community,” she said, the importance of giving people the tools to live and age well. “Those tools are different for everyone, but include resources like nutrition assistance programs, Area Agencies on Aging, Centers for Independent Living, supportive housing programs, Medicare and Medicaid, and Social Security,” she added.  

 Ways to Improve the Health and Wellness of the Nation’s Seniors

During his testimony, Sheriff Bill Prummell rattled off a list of proactive and effective ways that the Sheriff’s Office serves and protects seniors and disabled adults residing in Charlottee County, Florida.  Prummell shared a number of innovative programs with the Senators that could easily be replicated throughout the nation.  

Here are just a few…

According to Prummell, who serves as President of the Florida Sheriff’s Association, his office utilizes trained volunteers to reach out weekly to isolated age 60 and over seniors and disabled adults. The volunteers get to know these individuals thru their weekly phone calls, by giving them Christmas gifts and mailing birthday cards to these individuals on that special date, too. 

Meanwhile, Prummell noted that efforts like Project Lifesaver (using GPS tracking bracelets to locate wanderers) and DNA Scent Kits (enabling participants to keep a DNA scent article at home to be used by K9 Deputies) to assist his deputies in finding missing wanderers.  

And, Operation Pill Drop, even allows individuals to dispose of expired or unwanted medication in drug receptacle boxes at participating district offices, he says, noting that this keeps family members and others from accessing the senior’s medication cabinet to take old and unused medications. 

While she has seen dramatic improvements in preventative and health promotion programs, “we still have a long way to go,” says Witness Maria Alvarez, Executive Director of New York Statewide Senior Action Council.  She used the Senate Aging Committee hearing as a bully pulpit to call for a 2025 White House Conference on Aging be held to “help the country chart a course for addressing the needs of the growing older population as 20 percent of this country is now over the age of 65.”

“But we cannot ignore the need to recognize that having health care and preventive services available is not sufficient if they are not affordable or if discrimination, actual or perceived persists,” Alvarez says.

According to Alvarez, along with Social Security and Medicare and Medicaid, the Older Americans Act “has had seismic effect on the elderly population. “These programs provide a framework that seniors can rely on to continue to live and thrive and live with dignity, she says.

Witness Dawn Carr, Ph.D., director of the Claude Pepper Center at Florida State University, told the attending Senators that it’s time to reframe aging policy to promote healthy aging, noting that this “will require an expansion of our current aging-related policy goals.” These goals must emphasize supporting healthy aging throughout a person’s lifespan, she said.

“It means expanding healthy aging research, improving health care literacy and access, and incentivizing health behaviors and health interventions based on optimal health function goals,” says Dr. Carr, adding that this means “thinking about viewing older people as a critical resource that improves our society, rather than as a barrier to societal progress.”

Finally, during her testimony, Professor Emerita Dr. Susan Hughes, Ph.D., in the Division of Community Health Sciences and Founding Director of the Center for Research and Health and Aging at the University of Illinois Chicago (UIC) described the imitations of current funding for health promotion programs for older adults, calling for “transformational re-thinking” of a historical focus on post-acute care.  According to Dr. Hughes, this has resulted in  funding gaps in supporting long-term care and preventative programs for older adults, especially for those with chronic conditions like arthritis. 

Increased funding for wellness programs could reduce health care costs and improve out outcomes, she says, citing the success of UIC’s Fit & Strong! Program, a low cost, evidence-based intervention that helps senior’s manage osteoarthritis through physical activity.

But, despite the success of programs like Fit & Strong! lack of funding and reimbursement mechanisms, limit their impact, charges Dr. Hughes. calling for the Older American’s Act (OAA), particularly Title III D (or a new title), to support the funding of physical activity programming. 

“Ultimately, however, we will see much bigger returns if we develop demonstrations and/or regulations or reimbursement mechanisms that support the dissemination of and access to evidence-based health promotion programs as extensively as possible through Medicare, says Dr. Hughes. 

Walking the Talk

“Helping older people is a bipartisan issue — and the Aging Committee has a history of addressing the challenges that seniors face.  The work that the Senate Aging Committee does is especially critical today, with 10,000 Baby Boomers turning 65 every day, and given the uncertainty about the future of critical programs like Medicare, Medicaid, and Social Security,” says Max Richtman, President & CEO, National Committee to Preserve Social Security and Medicare.

Taking the reins of the Senate Aging Committee, Chairman Scott pledges to work with Ranking Member Gillibrand in a “bipartisan manner” to improve the lives of America’s seniors.  Will he walk his talk or are these just empty words?   

Republicans and Democrats on the Senate Aging Committee MUST work together to push the Republican-controlled Senate to allocate increased funding for the AOA and Medicare, or create additional reimbursement mechanisms to promote health and wellness programs.  Research tells us that these programs increase physical activity, brings people together to socialize, and enhances brain health, and even cuts medical costs.  Even with a federal budget deficit, in this case Congress must not be penny wise and pound foolish. 

To watch this Senate Aging Committee hearing go to 

https://www.aging.senate.gov/hearings/improving-wellness-among-seniors-setting-a-standard-for-the-american-dream.

The Best Of…Ten Simple Tips for Staying Fit

Published September 26, 2008, All Pawtucket All The Times

         In their younger years aging baby boomers never went onto the basket ball court without wearing their Converse, Reebok, Nike, New Balance or Nautilus tennis shoes.  This generation with their strong interest in health and fitness will not spend their retirement years as a couch potato watching television or sitting in an oak rocker on their porch.  With winter approaching, aging baby boomers can work to stay slim, trim and fit by remaining physically active.

            According to the International Council on Active Aging, aging baby boomers can become physically fit by simply following these tips:

1,  See your physician.   A medical checkup will determine whether you need to consider any medical clarifications before starting an exercise program.  Talk with your physician about any of your concerns or limitations.  After a day or two of exercise, if you experience major discomfort from working out including shortness of breath, headaches, chest pains, sore muscles and dizziness, see your physician.

2.   Look at options.  Do you join a local gym, aerobics in your house, enroll in a yoga class, make time for a daily walk in your neighborhood.  The key to your fitness success is doing your activities regularly.

3.  Know your style.  Some may like to take classes, others may prefer to go solo.  Exercising indoors may be more acceptable to some then outdoor physical activities.  Your schedule may also dictate when you can block out time, either in the morning, lunch time or evening, for your daily fitness program. 

4.  Start off slowly.  Learn to listen to your body. Be realistic when you begin to exercise and don’t overdo it at the beginning.   To reduce soreness and injury always ease your way into your fitness program.

5.  Get a buddy.  An exercise partner can be a great motivator in getting you started and to maintain a daily exercise regimen.  Whether it’s making a date with a friend to take a walk, play racket ball or golf or regularly seeing a personal trainer at your local gym, the personal interaction can motivate you to continue to exercise.

6.  Be realistic.  Don’t try to workout like you did in your younger years.  Always be realistic, setting age-related goals you expect to gain from participating in a physical exercise program.  If enormous benefits do not occur, like losing 30 pounds in one month, you might feel disappointed and quit exercising. 

7.  Make choices.  What are you willing to give up to make room for exercise?  What bad habits, (like smoking, drinking, sedentary and nonproductive activities, are you willing to give up?  It is up to you to choose wisely.

8.  Keep in motion.  Keeping moving all day long. Stretch, walk, march in place, stand and sit daily as often as you can when you are talking on the phone or watching television.  Every step counts.  A step counter will give you an idea as to how many steps you take a day.  Less active people may take about 4,000 steps or fewer per day.  Aim to do 250 to 1,000 additional steps of brisk walking, until you reach 8,000 to 10,000 steps in a day. 

9.   Create a support network.  Get your friends, colleagues and family members to support your new physical activity goals and ask them for their support and encouragement.  Consider getting others to help you keep your physical exercise commitments.  Telephone reminders from your vast network can keep you motivated and on track.

10.  Always Reward yourself.  Once you’ve reached your goals, recognize that milestone.  Treat yourself to something that reminds you what has been accomplished and encourages you to continue. 

One Final Note…Gold’s Gym Opens New Pawtucket Facility

            Finding the right gym can be as easy as getting referrals from your family and friends or shopping around for the right price or specific services that you need, says Mike Kasun, a personal trainer at Gold’s Gym, located at 550 Pawtucket Avenue in Pawtucket. “There are many gyms out there that may be cheaper than others but they just don’t offer a wide range of services.  Price, services provided, classes, and the gym’s location (being close to home or work) are key factors that people should consider when shopping around for a gym membership, he says.    

            Last Saturday,Pawtucket’s Gold’s Gym, officially opened its newly refurbished 25,000 square foot building with state-of-the art exercise equipment, notes Kasun. The new gym facility has 60 pieces of cardio equipment each with their own 14-inch plasma television; 105 pieces of resistance-training equipment, a “Cardio Cinema” where you exercise while watching a full length feature movie, a private woman’s workout room, along with a country club-like locker room. Two hundred free parking spaces surround the new gym.

            When joining Gold’s Gym, a new member receives two free personal training sessions, Kasun tells Your Later Years. “At your first session we assess what the person needs and wants to get out of their membership. Some may want to tone or lose weight while others are more interested in building up muscle strength, he notes. 

            “With information and health data gathered during this initial assessment a workout program can be especially designed for the individual.  During the second session the member is taken through a one hour work out specifically designed for them,” adds Kasun.

            Group exercise programs are also included in the Gold’s Gym’s membership price.   Kasun notes, “We have Les Mills Body Pump Class, offering a full body workout for participants using light weights.  Yoga, Step and other toning classes are also available, too,” he says, noting that all of the personal training staff is nationally certified in the classes they teach.

            Pawtucket’s Gold’s Gym, one of 650 locations nationwide offer AARP members the ability to enroll for only $49 and a savings of up to a 20 percent on their monthly membership as well as a seven day free trial membership period.  For more information, call Gold’s Gym at (401)722-6600.

            Herb Weiss is a Pawtucket-based freelance writer who covers aging, medical and health care issues.  This article appeared in the September 26, 2008 issue of My Back Yard.   He can be reached at hweissri@aol.com.