Tag Archives for Alliance for Better Long-Term Care

Tale of Two Caregivers

Published October 5, 2012, Pawtucket Times

           Being a caregiver to an older parent while raising children has now become the new rite of passage for aging baby boomers who, by the millions, are moving into their middle age years and beyond. Often called the sandwich generation for having care responsibilities at both ends of the age spectrum, these individuals become emotionally challenged, physically drained in their attempts to cope and juggle a multitude of tasks.

             According to National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP, more than 65 million persons, 29% of the nation’s population, provide care for a chronically ill, disabled, older family member or relative during any given year. The caregiver spends an average of 20 hours per week providing care for their loved ones.

 Taking on New Care giving Responsibilities

           Over seven years ago, Catherine Taylor, 51, the State’s Director of the Department of Elderly Affairs, and her husband, Rob, a practicing attorney, found themselves thrust into this new very demanding role with huge responsibilities. Like many others, the couple took on the demanding role of being caregivers of an elderly parent while juggling the intense domestic demands of taking care of four children, whose ages ranged from 3 years old to age 15.

           The Providence couple was now sharing the care of a very independent 83-year-old widow, who at that time resided in her home in Connecticut, one that she had designed. The older woman still continued to practice as an architect until her health began to rapidly steep decline.    

          In 1995, “We moved her back to Rhode Island six months before she died when she became too infirm to live independently in her home,” remembered Catherine.  

        Catherine wanted her mother-in-law to move in with her family, “but she was just too independent for that,” she said.  Her husband’s mother would ultimately choose to live out her final days in an apartment at a senior living facility on Providence’s Eastside, near the Taylor’s home. 

         As is the case with many caregivers who relocated their loved ones to live close by, packing, scheduling the move, and getting the Connecticut house ready for sale became the first chore of being a caregiver, notes Catherine.   

         According to Catherine, becoming a caregiver while working and raising a large family was incredibly hectic. “Many times we had to be in two or three places at one time,” each day.  Catherine adjusted her work schedule to help her mother-in-law with activities of daily living such as dressing, assisting in going to the bathroom, and feeding, take her to the emergency room or stay with her in the hospital, while wanting to be at home cooking her family dinner, and helping her children do their homework.

 Tips on Coping for Caregivers

            The couple juggled their roles as parents, caregivers and employees as best they could.  For instance, “our oldest child would be charged with watching his younger siblings”, Catherine says.  When visiting her mother-in-law to cook and assist her with eating, Catherine brought the youngest along to the senior living facility, and placed him in a portable playpen next to the kitchen table. Catherine, her husband and his sister, would divvy up cooking chores, each one take responsibility for making either breakfast, lunch or dinner.

           Supplemental care, provided by a home health aide, was especially needed when the aging baby boomer couple had to be at work.   

          While taxing for the entire family, care giving did have a positive impact on Catherine’s children.  “It really impressed on them how our family pulled together,” she said, noting “that it made them feel useful because they had specific jobs to perform to keep the family running.”    

           When asked if she got enough respite care for herself, Catherine quipped, “I never get enough!”  She added, “For us being part of a large nuclear family, also having a large extended family, we were able to trade off with each other.  But a lot of people don’t have that option,” she notes.  One of the hardest things about being a primary caregiver is how alone you can feel, Catherine said. “You’re living a different life from most other people.  You watch other families make snap decisions to go to the movies, and just hop in their car and go.  For you to do the same thing, the logistics tend to be like the invasion of Normandy.  You just have to go through so much organizing to have simple pleasures that other people don’t think twice about”.

          “Most family caregivers look like they are doing fine and think they are doing fine, but family, friends and neighbors, and sometimes community agencies, need to check in and give them a break so they care recharge their batteries.”

          Catherine suggests that caregivers maintain their relationships with friends and colleagues as hard as that is to do so they will look in on you, stop by for coffee, bring you dinner and help recharge you.  “This will allow you to keep doing your care giving job with love.”

 Double Duty as a Caregiver

          Sixty-four-year-old, Kathy Heren, Rhode Island’s Long-Term Care Ombudsman, a licensed practical nurse and caregiver, and her husband, John, 63, a chef, slipped into the care giving in the mid-1990s, watching out for two elder family members at the same time, a 72-year- old mother and her 78-year-old uncle.

          Both frail relatives (one had dementia and the other a heart condition) lived independently in their homes located in East Providence and on the Eastside. “Being Irish, they were both very stubborn in accepting assistance,” the aging advocate remembered. While professionally helping others cope with care giving and long-term care issues, Rhode Island’s Ombudsman had to carve out time to personally perform chores for her two frail family members. Chores included shopping, paying bills, and cleaning their houses.   Scheduling and transportation to doctor appointments and med management took additional time away from her very demanding job and family duties.

            When dealing with her Mother’s finances became just too difficult, Kathy, along with her sister, filed for guardianship.  “If you realize that there are some things you just can’t control, then seek outside services or assistance,” she recommended.  

           “Depending on personality of the person you are taking care of you may have to just step away from being a caregiver, if it impacts on your health,” she says.  “It may become the right time to turn to a nursing home or home care services, to take care of your frail family member.”

           “Make sure you turn to respite care if needed because it is always available”, Kathy suggests.  “You need to know when to seek out this assistance and go on a trip to recharge your batteries. When taking care of your loved one, do not forget your own health, family, or nutrition,” she says. .

 Seeking Respite Care Programs

             Rhode Island will receive $250,000 under the federal Lifespan Respite Care Act to support families caring for aging or disabled individuals with special needs, increasing access to short-term, or respite care. This relief offers family members temporary breaks from the daily routine and stress of providing care to loved ones with special needs.

             You can get information about respite care programs and resources available to care givers by calling by calling the Rhode Island Department of Human Services, Division of Elderly Affairs at (401) 462-3000, or you can go to www.dea.ri.gov. TTY users can call (401) 462-0740.

             The Rhode Island State Ombudsman, at the Alliance for Better Long-Term Care, monitors the quality of the Rhode Island’s nursing homes, assisted living facilities, home health agencies and hospice services, and address issues of elder abuse, guardianship, neglect and financial exploitation.  For more information, call  (401)785-3340.

             Herb Weiss is a Pawtucket-based freelance writer covering aging, health care and medical issues.

 

The Best Of…The Challenges of Caring for Your Aging Parent

Published July 3, 2008,  All Pawtucket All The Time

          It’s not easy being a parent.  Combine this with being a primary caregiver for an aging frail relative and you work a 48 hour day.  Sixty year old Karen Sciolto, like many of her aging baby boomer peers, took on care giving responsibilities in her mid-fifties.

           Five years earlier, the Scituate resident began her experience of taking care of frail adults by working as a Certified Nursing Assistant (CNA).  “You really had to physically be able to move a person around and help to meet their emotional needs,” she stated.  She acknowledges that she was “sort of a jack-of-all-trades” and had to “know a little bit about a lot of things.”

          With her CNA job, Sciolto knew that the caregiver role and responsibilities in her family would ultimately fall upon her shoulders because her parents, even relatives were getting older.  “Very soiled long-john underwear discovered after the visit to an emergency room and a later inspection of the uncle’s house revealed “cockroaches and filth.”  He just could not take care of himself, she said.   Scattered piles of newspapers mingled with important papers and money found hidden in holes in his mattress pushed the niece in 2000 to become a caregiver for her 87-year-old uncle whose physical and mental health were deteriorating. 

         For six years, Sciolto was the solo caregiver of her uncle.  She would drop him off each day to the local senior center to give him physical, emotional and social stimulation.  The aging baby boomer would also juggle a variety of daily tasks — CNA assignments, housework, along with raising her daughter and caring for three horses.  “As a caregiver my whole life, revolved around meeting his needs,” she said. 

       Many times she was overwhelmed with the stress of providing 24 hour a day care for her frail uncle.  “You were lucky if you went to bed and could get a good nights sleep,” she added. 

A Generational Experience…

         According to Roberta Hawkins, Executive Director of the  Alliance for Better Long-Term Care, Sciolto’s care giving experiences are not unique but common to thousands of aging baby boomers in Rhode Island.  

         Rhode Island’s most visible aging advocate, who has led this nonprofit agency for over 32 years, understands care giving both on a personal and professional level.  In her sixties, Hawkins looks back at her personal experiences. In her younger days she took care of grandparents while raising her young daughter. In recent years, Hawkins would raise her grandchildren while providing care to her disable husband.

        Hawkins warns aging baby boomers “not to take on [responsibilities] that you can’t do.”  Know your abilities and also your limitations, she says.  “You really need to think clearly if you are the right person who can provide that care.”

        “Often times, adult children will feel guilty if they do not take care of their disabled parents,” observes Hawkins. “This may not be the right move due to their responsibility of raising children.  They may have limited patience to deal with the changing health care needs and personality of their older parent.”   

        If older parent and child did not get along in their earlier years, care giving just won’t work,” Hawkins says.  “There won’t be the patience or the connection needed to provide care in peace and harmony.”

 Every Day and Night

          “Care giving is a 24 hour, 7 day a week job,” Hawkins says. “Even if you bring in outside caregivers during the day you will still have to deal with nighttime and weekends,” she says.  “Nobody is happy” with household stress.  This may push the older person into withdrawing more into themselves so they become less of a burden to their adult children.   

          Sending your older parent to a senior center or day care site might not be the most appropriate strategy,” Hawkins adds.  “If the person was not a friendly or a social person, attending day care will not be a very happy experience,” she says.

         Meanwhile, Hawkins says that some problems may also surface if an adult child hires an outside caregiver to keep their aging parent at home.  “The older parent may be a mistrustful person and not want a stranger coming into their own home. This person may resent the fact that their children won’t be there for them and this can result in continuous complaints about the caregiver,” she says.

       “Before hiring an outside caregiver or becoming one yourself, always have a very frank discussion with the older person about your decision,” Hawkins recommends.  Conversations should begin before a health issue forces an adult child or spouse to make this decision without the wishes and desires of their older parent being known, she adds.

       Also, when the time comes to consider placement in an assisted living or nursing home facility, it becomes crucial for the older person to be included in the decision making process.  “Give them all the pros and cons for each and every decision,” Hawkins says.  “Match the older person to the place they are going to live in, not the other way around.”

Promises Made, Promises Broken

       Finally, caregivers must give themselves some time off to recharge their batteries.  “If there are siblings around be adamant that they help take care of their older parent, too” she tells aging baby boomers shouldering the care giving responsibilities.  “Everyone promises but they tend to be too busy with their lives to give any assistance,” she says.

       Sadly, Hawkins brings up the old saying “One mother can bring up five children but five children may not take care of the mom.”  So, true, she says, noting “I see it all the time.”

       Herb Weiss is a Pawtucket-based freelance writer covering aging, medical and health care issues.  The article was published in the July 3, 2008, All Pawtucket All The Time.  He can be reached at hweissri@aol.com.

Senior Advocates Push Legislation That Would Save State Money

Published in the Pawtucket Times on April 14, 2003

While the Rhode Island General Assembly is tackling hot-potato political issues like separation of powers and gambling, hundreds of bills have been thrown into the legislation hopper. Senior advocates are tracking about 13 legislative priorities in the 2003 legislative session.

Lawmakers are considering a wide array of legislation -creating long-term care tax credits, expending the Rhode Island Pharmaceutical Assistance to the Elderly Program, strengthening the state’s ombudsman’s office and ratcheting up Medicaid payments to nursing facility providers. One bill would establish special funds to care for severely disabled (age 65 and over) legal immigrant elders who are not eligible for Medicaid.

As they deal with a huge state budget deficit, Gov. Don Carcieri and lawmakers will be wary of enacting legislation that will have a fiscal impact on the state coffers.

But senior advocates are pushing for enactment of several legislative proposals that are either budget neutral or will actually save taxpayer dollars.

One legislative proposal (H 5841/S 876) that would create revisions to the state long-term care ombudsman law to expand the scope and authority for this state’s elderly advocate.

“Previously, the Rhode Island state statute has not reflected federal law, and this bill remedies that oversight,” said Roberta Hawkins, executive director of the Alliance for Better Long-Term Care and  state ombudsman, who noted federal law requires each state’s ombudsman statute to reflect the federal Older American Act.  Currently, Rhode Island’s statute does not.

Hawkins said the proposed statute changes also add additional duties authorized by the federal Older Americans Act to those required of the ombudsman under Rhode Island law. Companion bills introduced in the House and Senate call for the state ombudsman to represent the interest of nursing facility residents or clients of service providers before  government agencies, and to seek administrative, legal and  other remedies to protect their health, safety, welfare and rights.

They also mandate that the state ombudsman review and comment on any existing and proposed laws, regulations and state policies impacting nursing facility residents and clients of service providers.

The legislative proposals would make a new section of the state ombudsman law that fines a person up to $ 1,000 who willfully interferes with the ombudsman duties.

At press time, these bills were approved by the House’s Health Education and Welfare Committee and the Senate’s Health and Human Services Committee for consideration for floor action at a later date.

Meanwhile, Susan Sweet, an elder rights advocate who also consults for nonprofit agencies, noted two legislative proposals would actually save the state money while providing more appropriate services to older Rhode Islanders.

Sweet said these legislative proposals (H 5246/ S 314) would require the Department of Human Resources to reallocate funds to support already federally-approved assisted-living support services. At present, more than 35 people have qualified for this program but still remain in costly nursing facilities (at $ 130 per day) rather than reside in assisted living facilities which cost approximately 50 percent what the state is paying for nursing facility services.

At press time, these legislative proposals are still under consideration in the Senate and House Finance committees.

“If the General Assembly fails to enact funding for federally approved assisted living services, I would hope they would reallocate resources to at least allow those currently on the waiting list – some of whom are already in  nursing facilities costing the state twice as much = to be under the waiver,” said Sweet. “This would save half of the money currently being paid while providing these elders a better quality of life.”

Another legislative proposal (H 5418/ S 506) said Sweet, would establish a fund for severely disabled elderly legal immigrant Rhode Island residents who are not eligible for Medicaid.

Presently, these legal elderly immigrants receive care only from hospital. Sweet said there are currently four or five of these disabled elders residing at Eleanor Slater Hospital at a cost to taxpayers of $ 749 per day per person. If this legislation were enacted, these severely disabled elders could be transferred to a nursing home at the Medicaid rate of less than $100 per day.

At press time, these legislative proposals are still under consideration in the Senate and House finance committees.

Sweet noted the requested allocations for placement in nursing facilities for disabled elders who are legal immigrants is just $ 250,000 a year.

“Considering that we know that care for one persona at Eleanor Slater Hospital costs the state $ 749 per day, more than $ 273,000 annually passage of this bill is a no-brainer,” says Sweet. “In times when money is tight, there is more reason to save money while providing more appropriate services to our elders.”

In the shadow of a huge budget deficit, the Rhode Island General Assembly now has the opportunity the state money. They should seize the day by enacting they legislative proposals.