Tale of Two Caregivers

Published October 5, 2012, Pawtucket Times

           Being a caregiver to an older parent while raising children has now become the new rite of passage for aging baby boomers who, by the millions, are moving into their middle age years and beyond. Often called the sandwich generation for having care responsibilities at both ends of the age spectrum, these individuals become emotionally challenged, physically drained in their attempts to cope and juggle a multitude of tasks.

             According to National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP, more than 65 million persons, 29% of the nation’s population, provide care for a chronically ill, disabled, older family member or relative during any given year. The caregiver spends an average of 20 hours per week providing care for their loved ones.

 Taking on New Care giving Responsibilities

           Over seven years ago, Catherine Taylor, 51, the State’s Director of the Department of Elderly Affairs, and her husband, Rob, a practicing attorney, found themselves thrust into this new very demanding role with huge responsibilities. Like many others, the couple took on the demanding role of being caregivers of an elderly parent while juggling the intense domestic demands of taking care of four children, whose ages ranged from 3 years old to age 15.

           The Providence couple was now sharing the care of a very independent 83-year-old widow, who at that time resided in her home in Connecticut, one that she had designed. The older woman still continued to practice as an architect until her health began to rapidly steep decline.    

          In 1995, “We moved her back to Rhode Island six months before she died when she became too infirm to live independently in her home,” remembered Catherine.  

        Catherine wanted her mother-in-law to move in with her family, “but she was just too independent for that,” she said.  Her husband’s mother would ultimately choose to live out her final days in an apartment at a senior living facility on Providence’s Eastside, near the Taylor’s home. 

         As is the case with many caregivers who relocated their loved ones to live close by, packing, scheduling the move, and getting the Connecticut house ready for sale became the first chore of being a caregiver, notes Catherine.   

         According to Catherine, becoming a caregiver while working and raising a large family was incredibly hectic. “Many times we had to be in two or three places at one time,” each day.  Catherine adjusted her work schedule to help her mother-in-law with activities of daily living such as dressing, assisting in going to the bathroom, and feeding, take her to the emergency room or stay with her in the hospital, while wanting to be at home cooking her family dinner, and helping her children do their homework.

 Tips on Coping for Caregivers

            The couple juggled their roles as parents, caregivers and employees as best they could.  For instance, “our oldest child would be charged with watching his younger siblings”, Catherine says.  When visiting her mother-in-law to cook and assist her with eating, Catherine brought the youngest along to the senior living facility, and placed him in a portable playpen next to the kitchen table. Catherine, her husband and his sister, would divvy up cooking chores, each one take responsibility for making either breakfast, lunch or dinner.

           Supplemental care, provided by a home health aide, was especially needed when the aging baby boomer couple had to be at work.   

          While taxing for the entire family, care giving did have a positive impact on Catherine’s children.  “It really impressed on them how our family pulled together,” she said, noting “that it made them feel useful because they had specific jobs to perform to keep the family running.”    

           When asked if she got enough respite care for herself, Catherine quipped, “I never get enough!”  She added, “For us being part of a large nuclear family, also having a large extended family, we were able to trade off with each other.  But a lot of people don’t have that option,” she notes.  One of the hardest things about being a primary caregiver is how alone you can feel, Catherine said. “You’re living a different life from most other people.  You watch other families make snap decisions to go to the movies, and just hop in their car and go.  For you to do the same thing, the logistics tend to be like the invasion of Normandy.  You just have to go through so much organizing to have simple pleasures that other people don’t think twice about”.

          “Most family caregivers look like they are doing fine and think they are doing fine, but family, friends and neighbors, and sometimes community agencies, need to check in and give them a break so they care recharge their batteries.”

          Catherine suggests that caregivers maintain their relationships with friends and colleagues as hard as that is to do so they will look in on you, stop by for coffee, bring you dinner and help recharge you.  “This will allow you to keep doing your care giving job with love.”

 Double Duty as a Caregiver

          Sixty-four-year-old, Kathy Heren, Rhode Island’s Long-Term Care Ombudsman, a licensed practical nurse and caregiver, and her husband, John, 63, a chef, slipped into the care giving in the mid-1990s, watching out for two elder family members at the same time, a 72-year- old mother and her 78-year-old uncle.

          Both frail relatives (one had dementia and the other a heart condition) lived independently in their homes located in East Providence and on the Eastside. “Being Irish, they were both very stubborn in accepting assistance,” the aging advocate remembered. While professionally helping others cope with care giving and long-term care issues, Rhode Island’s Ombudsman had to carve out time to personally perform chores for her two frail family members. Chores included shopping, paying bills, and cleaning their houses.   Scheduling and transportation to doctor appointments and med management took additional time away from her very demanding job and family duties.

            When dealing with her Mother’s finances became just too difficult, Kathy, along with her sister, filed for guardianship.  “If you realize that there are some things you just can’t control, then seek outside services or assistance,” she recommended.  

           “Depending on personality of the person you are taking care of you may have to just step away from being a caregiver, if it impacts on your health,” she says.  “It may become the right time to turn to a nursing home or home care services, to take care of your frail family member.”

           “Make sure you turn to respite care if needed because it is always available”, Kathy suggests.  “You need to know when to seek out this assistance and go on a trip to recharge your batteries. When taking care of your loved one, do not forget your own health, family, or nutrition,” she says. .

 Seeking Respite Care Programs

             Rhode Island will receive $250,000 under the federal Lifespan Respite Care Act to support families caring for aging or disabled individuals with special needs, increasing access to short-term, or respite care. This relief offers family members temporary breaks from the daily routine and stress of providing care to loved ones with special needs.

             You can get information about respite care programs and resources available to care givers by calling by calling the Rhode Island Department of Human Services, Division of Elderly Affairs at (401) 462-3000, or you can go to www.dea.ri.gov. TTY users can call (401) 462-0740.

             The Rhode Island State Ombudsman, at the Alliance for Better Long-Term Care, monitors the quality of the Rhode Island’s nursing homes, assisted living facilities, home health agencies and hospice services, and address issues of elder abuse, guardianship, neglect and financial exploitation.  For more information, call  (401)785-3340.

             Herb Weiss is a Pawtucket-based freelance writer covering aging, health care and medical issues.

 

AARP Research Study Explores Why People Are Happy

Published September 14, 2012, Pawtucket Times

           “Good conversation, meeting new people while traveling, and being in good health” brings much happiness to long-time Pawtucket resident Jean Babiec.  The former Providence school teacher, in her eighth decade, added she would be ‘extremely happy’ if the Rhode Island General Assembly passed legislation, signed by Governor Lincoln Chafee, to create a Pawtucket Red Sox vanity license plate.

           At-Large Pawtucket City Councilor, Lorenzo C. Tetreault, 65, is “the happiest when he can help others.”  The retired Pawtucket teacher is also happy when he holds his one-year old twin grandsons from Narragansett, Samuel and Benjamin, in his arms.

           Former Pawtucket Tax Assessor, Dave Quinn, 64, who now oversees the Tax Office in the City of Providence, finds happiness “knowing that his family is healthy and his children are doing well.”  The Seekonk resident also feels happy by being intellectually challenged by his job.

           Babiec, Tetreault and Quinn’s statements on what makes them happy are reflected by others documented in a recently released AARP study on what happiness means to aging baby boomers.  The findings of this report indicate that relationships and being in control of your health and life are key factors in bringing happiness into your life.  

Defining Happiness

            The new AARP study, titled “Beyond Happiness: Thriving,” found that most Americans age 35 and over are happy, but compared to historical General Social Survey (GSS) data, levels of happiness are on the decline and at their lowest levels (due in part to the nation’s economic downturn).  In an effort to explore what happiness means to aging baby boomers and what it takes to thrive as they age, over 4,000 adults age 35 and over were surveyed to determine what makes them happy.   

             “We’re always looking to get a more robust understanding of the contributors and barriers to happiness in people’s lives,” said Steve Cone, Executive Vice President of Integrated Value Strategy, AARP. “Building on previous AARP research, which shows the importance of happiness and peace of mind to aging baby boomers, these new results affirm that we are on the right track—advocating to ensure basic health and financial security and making available everyday discounts that let people enjoy time with family and friends.”  

             According to researchers, the findings of this study reveal the existence of a U-shape curve of happiness by age. The early 50s is the lowest point from which happiness builds. Thus, if you missed happiness in your 30’s, there is still another chance to achieve it in your 60’s.

             The Researchers note that as people age and eventually retire, they can devote more time to building relationships and just enjoying simple everyday pleasures.  Younger people are still working hard to solidify their accomplishments.

           The AARP study’s results also provide four key insights around the drivers of happiness.

The Happiness Spectrum

            Overall, the strong majority (68%) of respondents say they are happy, although intensity of happiness is somewhat tempered as the largest percent report being somewhat happy (49%) versus very happy (19%). Almost half of those surveyed feel they are just as happy as others (49%) and the rest tend to believe that they are happier than others (31%) as opposed to less happy than others (13%). Part of this may be attributed to the perceptions of people being the masters of their own happiness destiny.

            More interesting, the respondents were concern for the happiness of the next generation. Less than half feel they will be as happy or more (45%). Most are either not sure (19%) or believe they will be less happy (35%).

Relationships Key to Happiness 

           The AARP survey findings also indicate that regardless of your age, good relationships with friends, family, and even pets, were found to be universally important. Activities associated with those relationships contributed most to a person’s happiness. The most significant activity was kissing or hugging someone you love.  Other activities included: watching your children grandchildren or close relative succeed; being told you are a person who can be trusted or relied upon; spending time with your family or friends such as a meal or social gathering; and finally, experiencing a special moment with a child. 

            Researchers say that relationships with family pets were especially important to women, singles and older individuals.  However, relationships did have to be real: “connecting with friends or family on a social media site like Facebook” came in 37th out of 38 activities in contributing to happiness. Importantly, none of the top contributors require a lot of money to achieve; they are “simple pleasures” that can be had by all.

 Good Health Linked to Happiness 

          Without good health, it is far more difficult to achieve happiness: people in “good or excellent” health are three times more likely to report being “very” happy, the researchers say.  However, one’s health may be more a state of mind than objective reality.  The findings noted that the percentage of those reporting good health is relatively stable over the ages 35 to 80, varying only seven percentage points, even as reported chronic or serious medical conditions increase 400% in the same age range. 

Calling the Shots, Brings Happiness

          The majority of those surveyed feel they have control over their personal level of happiness. Interestingly, this sense of control increases with age. Moreover, people who feel in control are clearly happier—reporting that they are 2.5 times happier than those who believe happiness is out of their control. The study’s findings indicate that a sense of control is linked to higher income, higher education, good health and the lack of having experienced a major life event in the past year.

Money Does Not Always Guarantee Happiness

            While many will say having money can bring happiness, this research study showed that it seems that how one spends it seems to matter more.  Happiness increases with income and conversely, lack of financial resources was tied to unhappiness. While less than a third of participants said money contributed to happiness, when asked how they would spend $100 on something to increase happiness, most respondents said they would spend it on their family or going out to dinner. Money is only a resource, that when applied to meaningful areas of one’s life, can provide experiences that can increase happiness.

         Herb Weiss is a Pawtucket-based freelance writer who covers aging, health care and medical issues.  He can be reached at hweissri@aol.com.

GOP Vice Presidential Candidate Shifts Debate on Medicare, Medicaid

August 17, 2012 

            With election day just a little over three month away the GOP’s presumptive presidential nominee, Mitt Romney, got temporarily knocked off message with his selection of Rep. Paul D. Ryan (R-Wisconsin) as his vice presidential running mate.   Before his pick, Romney went after the sitting Democratic President with charges that he failed to bring the nation out of the greatest economic crisis since the great Depression.  President had not brought employment to the millions of America’s unemployed.

            With Ryan on board the debate now has shifted to how his Budget plan (passed twice in the Republican controlled House) would reconfigure the 77 year old Social Security program along with Medicare and Medicaid.  Democrats expressed glee with Obama’s economic performance now being taken off the front page of nation’s

             Newspapers to focus on Medicare and Medicaid.  GOP strategists are working hard to figure out ways to bring a calm to swing states, like Florida, with a large number of voter baby boomers and senior, who vote.

            Democratic critics are zeroing in on Ryan’s Medicare plan, one that would eliminate the current system where every beneficiary would get the same set of benefits, paid by collected taxes, to one that would give each person a fixed amount of money.

             Ryan’s plan would allow those age 54 or younger who retire to be given the government payment to be used to either purchase insurance from the private sector from an approved list or from a government-run program similar to Medicare. People would pay more out-of-pocket if they wanted to purchase a more comprehensive health plan.  The federal government would regulate the participating private insurance industry, also providing more financial assistance to poor and sick.  The program’s eligibility age would increase from 65 to 67 by 2034.

             Finally, Ryan would put the nation’s Medicaid program, that provides health care to the poor and disabled, on the chopping block.  Under Ryan’s plan, funding would be cut by a third and the remaining federal funds would be funneled to the states as a block grant to be used at the state’s discretion.

 Attack Internet Video Highlights GOP Proposed Medicare Cuts

             The Obama campaign moved swiftly to capitalize on the uproar over Ryan’s controversial budget plan of fixing Medicare and Medicaid.  At the beginning of this week the campaign released a new Internet video accusing GOP’s Romney and Ryan of seeking to destroy the nation’s Medicare and Medicaid programs.

             This recently released campaign video, entitled “What do Floridians think about the Romney-Ryan plan to end Medicare as we know it,” ties Romney firmly to his vice president’s prescription of reforming two of the nation’s domestic policy programs, a plan that has recently become a lightening rod, attracting political controversy.  

            To date over 76,479 viewers have watched the Obama campaign video on YouTube, attack the GOP Presidential contender and his running mate. Throughout the one :minute and 42 second video, five older Floridian residents expressed their concerns about the Romny/Ryan’s politically-charged proposal to make draconian cuts to Medicare.

           “It doesn’t make sense to cut Medicare,” says one older woman, who then says, “If we cut it now, what’s going to happen to our middle class?”  Another woman chimes in, “Medicare is a boom for senior citizens who without that would choose between food and going to a doctor.” 

             Not a bad internet video to put a negative spin on Romney and Ryan in Florida, a key swing state where the Republican candidate will shortly visit and the site for the 2012 Republican National Convention in Tampa, Florida, on August 27, 2012.   

             Republicans are attempting to soften negative attacks being lobbed at the Romney camp by attacking President Obama on his huge cuts to Medicare, amounting to $716 billion, that included in his enacted 2010 Affordable Care Act.  They allege that the President used the cut funds from Medicare to finance his health care reform package.  Democrats have pointed out the hypocrisy of this political charge by noting that Ryan had included $700 billion in Medicare cuts in his own budget plan, many of which can be found in Obamacare, the President’s landmark legislation reforming the nation’s health care system.  

 Romney Distances Himself from Partner’s Medicare Budget Fixes

             Two days ago, Mitt Romney, appearing on “CBS This Morning, Romney moved to separate himself from Ryan’s controversially-charged reforms to completely overhaul  Medicare and Medicaid by saying that “Congressman Ryan has joined my campaign, and his campaign is my campaign now, ” noting that “We’re exactly on the same page.”

             At the Wednesday CBS News interview, when Romney was asked about Ryan’s proposed Medicare cuts, he suggested that the Wisconsin Republican Congressman would support his plan which would not include huge Medicare cuts.  “The president’s cuts of $716 billion to Medicare, those cuts are going to be restored if I become president and Paul Ryan becomes vice president,” pledged the GOP Presidential Candidate, in his first solo interview on “CBS This Morning,” since he selected Ryan as his vice presidential running mate.

             “My commitment is, if I become president, I’m going to restore that $716 billion to the Medicare trust fund so that current seniors can know that trust fund is not being raided and we’re going to make sure – and get Medicare on track to be solvent long-term on a permanent basis,” added Romney.

 Domestic Programs Touching Everyone’s Life

                  “With fewer jobs offering pensions and people struggling to save for retirement, Social Security will be even more important for younger generations,” notes AARP President Rob Romasco, noting that more than one in three working households age 21 to 64 has no individual savings set aside for retirement.  His comment was released last with the polling findings from a 2012 Voter Survey.

             Among the findings, 59 percent of Americans polled fear that the negative effects of the economic downturn on their retirement savings will force them to rely more heavily on Social Security and Medicare — programs they are concerned that elected officials aren’t doing enough to protect. 

           The AARP survey of voters age 50 plus also found that six in ten plan to rely on Social Security and Medicare even more due to the recent economic downturn. The same survey found that the respondents’ top financial worry is prices rising faster than their income, and the overwhelming majority (91 percent) agree that the next President and Congress need to strengthen Social Security so that it is able to provide retirement security for future generations

         “Last year, while politicians in Washington discussed changes like reducing the COLA as part of a backroom budget deal, AARP fought to protect Social Security. One thing we’ve heard consistently from our members and all older Americans is that keeping up with inflation is one of Social Security’s most important features,” he continued.

            “It’s these voices – the voices of Americans who have paid into the program – that politicians should be listening to when they consider its future,” says AARP CEO A. Barry Rand, noting that his aging group has launched “You’ve Earned a Say,” an initiative (www.earnedasay.org) to ensure that voters have factual information about the Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid policy debates inside the Washington Beltway, and platform to speak out about how any proposed changes would effect them personally.

            Romney’s selection of Ryan as his vice-presidential running mate has now put Social Security, Medicare and Medicaid on the voter’s radar screen.  

             Now is the time for aging baby boomer and senior voters to send a blunt message to the sitting President, his opponents Romney and Ryan, especially those Congressional candidates that you will meet at public events in the OceanState, or even at your door step when they come to personally ask for your vote. That is, political gridlock is no longer acceptable to you and that the nation’s domestic policy issues must be solved through bipartisan efforts.”

             Meaningful legislative fixes, often derailed by “no-compromise” lawmakers should not longer be sent to Capitol Hill.      

             A Final Note…End the nastiness of this political campaign by educating yourself about the issues.  AARP’s “You’ve Earned a Say” will be in evidence McCoy Stadium Sunday (Aug. 19th) when the PawSox play Buffalo in a 1:05 p.m. game. Following the game, the aging group will have a booth as part of the PawSox Fan Appreciation Day. People attending the event can fill out a “You’ve Earned a Say” questionnaire that measures their opinions and concerns on the future of Medicare and Social Security.

             Herb Weiss is a Pawtucket-based freelance writer who covers aging, health care and medical issues.  He can be reached at hweissri@aol.com.