Tale of Two Caregivers

Published October 5, 2012, Pawtucket Times

Being a caregiver to an older parent while raising children has now become the new rite of passage for aging baby boomers who, by the millions, are moving into their middle age years and beyond. Often called the sandwich generation for having care responsibilities at both ends of the age spectrum, these individuals become emotionally challenged, physically drained in their attempts to cope and juggle a multitude of tasks.

According to National Alliance for Caregiving and AARP, more than 65 million persons, 29% of the nation’s population, provide care for a chronically ill, disabled, older family member or relative during any given year. The caregiver spends an average of 20 hours per week providing care for their loved ones.

Taking on New Care giving Responsibilities

Over seven years ago, Catherine Taylor, 51, the State’s Director of the Department of Elderly Affairs, and her husband, Rob, a practicing attorney, found themselves thrust into this new very demanding role with huge responsibilities. Like many others, the couple took on the demanding role of being caregivers of an elderly parent while juggling the intense domestic demands of taking care of four children, whose ages ranged from 3 years old to age 15.

The Providence couple was now sharing the care of a very independent 83-year-old widow, who at that time resided in her home in Connecticut, one that she had designed. The older woman still continued to practice as an architect until her health began to rapidly steep decline.

In 1995, “We moved her back to Rhode Island six months before she died when she became too infirm to live independently in her home,” remembered Catherine.

Catherine wanted her mother-in-law to move in with her family, “but she was just too independent for that,” she said. Her husband’s mother would ultimately choose to live out her final days in an apartment at a senior living facility on Providence’s Eastside, near the Taylor’s home.

As is the case with many caregivers who relocated their loved ones to live close by, packing, scheduling the move, and getting the Connecticut house ready for sale became the first chore of being a caregiver, notes Catherine.

According to Catherine, becoming a caregiver while working and raising a large family was incredibly hectic. “Many times we had to be in two or three places at one time,” each day. Catherine adjusted her work schedule to help her mother-in-law with activities of daily living such as dressing, assisting in going to the bathroom, and feeding, take her to the emergency room or stay with her in the hospital, while wanting to be at home cooking her family dinner, and helping her children do their homework.

Tips on Coping for Caregivers

The couple juggled their roles as parents, caregivers and employees as best they could. For instance, “our oldest child would be charged with watching his younger siblings”, Catherine says. When visiting her mother-in-law to cook and assist her with eating, Catherine brought the youngest along to the senior living facility, and placed him in a portable playpen next to the kitchen table. Catherine, her husband and his sister, would divvy up cooking chores, each one take responsibility for making either breakfast, lunch or dinner.

Supplemental care, provided by a home health aide, was especially needed when the aging baby boomer couple had to be at work.

While taxing for the entire family, care giving did have a positive impact on Catherine’s children. “It really impressed on them how our family pulled together,” she said, noting “that it made them feel useful because they had specific jobs to perform to keep the family running.”

When asked if she got enough respite care for herself, Catherine quipped, “I never get enough!” She added, “For us being part of a large nuclear family, also having a large extended family, we were able to trade off with each other. But a lot of people don’t have that option,” she notes. One of the hardest things about being a primary caregiver is how alone you can feel, Catherine said. “You’re living a different life from most other people. You watch other families make snap decisions to go to the movies, and just hop in their car and go. For you to do the same thing, the logistics tend to be like the invasion of Normandy. You just have to go through so much organizing to have simple pleasures that other people don’t think twice about”.

“Most family caregivers look like they are doing fine and think they are doing fine, but family, friends and neighbors, and sometimes community agencies, need to check in and give them a break so they care recharge their batteries.”

Catherine suggests that caregivers maintain their relationships with friends and colleagues as hard as that is to do so they will look in on you, stop by for coffee, bring you dinner and help recharge you. “This will allow you to keep doing your care giving job with love.”

Double Duty as a Caregiver

Sixty-four-year-old, Kathy Heren, Rhode Island’s Long-Term Care Ombudsman, a licensed practical nurse and caregiver, and her husband, John, 63, a chef, slipped into the care giving in the mid-1990s, watching out for two elder family members at the same time, a 72-year- old mother and her 78-year-old uncle.

Both frail relatives (one had dementia and the other a heart condition) lived independently in their homes located in East Providence and on the Eastside. “Being Irish, they were both very stubborn in accepting assistance,” the aging advocate remembered. While professionally helping others cope with care giving and long-term care issues, Rhode Island’s Ombudsman had to carve out time to personally perform chores for her two frail family members. Chores included shopping, paying bills, and cleaning their houses. Scheduling and transportation to doctor appointments and med management took additional time away from her very demanding job and family duties.

When dealing with her Mother’s finances became just too difficult, Kathy, along with her sister, filed for guardianship. “If you realize that there are some things you just can’t control, then seek outside services or assistance,” she recommended.

“Depending on personality of the person you are taking care of you may have to just step away from being a caregiver, if it impacts on your health,” she says. “It may become the right time to turn to a nursing home or home care services, to take care of your frail family member.”

“Make sure you turn to respite care if needed because it is always available”, Kathy suggests. “You need to know when to seek out this assistance and go on a trip to recharge your batteries. When taking care of your loved one, do not forget your own health, family, or nutrition,” she says. .

Seeking Respite Care Programs

Rhode Island will receive $250,000 under the federal Lifespan Respite Care Act to support families caring for aging or disabled individuals with special needs, increasing access to short-term, or respite care. This relief offers family members temporary breaks from the daily routine and stress of providing care to loved ones with special needs.

You can get information about respite care programs and resources available to care givers by calling by calling the Rhode Island Department of Human Services, Division of Elderly Affairs at (401) 462-3000, or you can go to www.dea.ri.gov. TTY users can call (401) 462-0740.

The Rhode Island State Ombudsman, at the Alliance for Better Long-Term Care, monitors the quality of the Rhode Island’s nursing homes, assisted living facilities, home health agencies and hospice services, and address issues of elder abuse, guardianship, neglect and financial exploitation. For more information, call (401)785-3340.

Herb Weiss is a Pawtucket-based freelance writer covering aging, health care and medical issues.

Defining Brendan Doherty: Romney Republican or Moderate

Published September 28, 2012, Pawtucket Times

With the upcoming November election just six weeks away, Republican Candidate Brendan Doherty held a news conference last Tuesday at Memorial, attempting to distance himself from House GOP leadership and from Mitt Romney, the Republican Party’s anointed Presidential candidate.

Surrounded by a backdrop of the 294 bed CommunityHospital in Pawtucket’s East Riverview Neighborhood, Doherty, the GOP challenger to Democratic Rep. David Cicilline, came before seniors and supporters to do political damage control, with an agenda to set the public record straight about his positions on Social Security, Medicare, and Medicaid.

Keeping Social Security, Medicare off the Chopping Block

Charging that Cicilline was misleading to voters on his positions on the nation’s most popular domestic programs, the Republican Candidate pledged his opposition to “privatization” of the nation’s Social Security Program, calling for Congress to keep the Social Security and Medicare programs off the budgetary chopping block. The former state police superintendent, looking to become Rhode Island’s newest Congressman for the First Congressional District, also supported increased benefits for seniors already enrolled in the Social Security Program.

At the morning news conference, Doherty warned that he has no “secret plan” to cut Social Security and Medicare, as Cicilline charges. He chastised the Freshman Congressman and his Democratic political operatives for using scare tactics and misleading political rhetoric to fuel a misinformation campaign to link him to Republican Presidential Candidate, Mitt Romney and his running mate, Rep. Paul Ryan’s support for a Medicare voucher program. Doherty stated that a voucher system would shift healthier Americans to private insurance plans and leave the sickest and frailest American’s in a weakened version of traditional Medicare.

Putting the Spot Light on Fraud and Waste

Doherty, calling himself an “independent thinker” a “centrist” who pledged to reach across the aisle to House Democrats, to pass legislation that would root out fraud and abuse in Medicare and Medicaid. He noted that a new RAND Corporation study showed that fraud and waste in these two programs may be as high as $98 billion.

“While Congressman Cicilline often speaks of his commitment to protect Medicare from any possibility of budget cuts, he failed to take this common sense action to address the fraud, waste and abuse that accounts for at least $48 billion being diverted every year from the Medicare program and taken away from our seniors who depend on the Medicare program,” commented Doherty.

Doherty, however, looks to push for the Medicare and Medicaid Fighting Fraud and Abuse to Save Taxpayers’ Dollars Act or the Medicare Fast Act (H.R. 3399), as types of legislative proposals he could support if he were elected to Congress.

Cicilline did not mince his words after Doherty’s news conference by continuing to tie his Republican challenger to the Radical Republicans who control the House. He charged that “My Republican opponent supports raising the retirement age for Social Security and if he got to Congress, would vote to keep the Republicans in control of the House where they would continue to push an extreme agenda that would end the guarantee of Medicare and turn it into a voucher system.”

According to the Democratic Congressman, the Preserving Our Promise to Seniors Act, whish he is a cosponsor, is the best way to extend the life of Social Security Program along with improving the Cost of Living Adjustment formula to give beneficiaries an adjustment based on the cost of goods and services that they regularly purchased. The Democratic Congressman also opposed the raising the Social Security eligibility age or any effort to privatize the system, these changes supported by many GOP lawmakers.

Responding to the news conference, the Rhode Island Democratic Party issued a release calling Doherty’s pledge to preserve Social Security and Medicare “an empty one,” given the Republican House Leaderships efforts to slash funding for these programs for years.

Countering Doherty’s attempt to label himself a moderate, Bill Fischer, spokesperson for the RI Democratic Party called Cicilline’s Republican opponent a “Romney Republican who has clearly stated he would repeal the Affordable Care Act; raise the eligibility age on Social Security; and will vote for Republican control in Congress.”

“If Doherty were serious about protecting seniors, he wouldn’t be calling for the repeal of our historic healthcare reform,” Fischer said. “Maybe he doesn’t understand the enormous benefits Rhode Island seniors have already received since its passage. Thanks to President Obama’s Affordable Care Act, 128,390 people on Medicare in Rhode Island have access to preventative health care services, such as colonoscopies and mammograms.

In Rhode Island’s First Congressional District alone, 7,300 seniors have saved over $4 million on prescription drugs because the Affordable Care Act closed the donut hole.”

TV Spot Ties Doherty to Radical Republicans

With Doherty’s effort to distance himself from the Washington Republican agenda, Cicilline’s campaign released a new television spot, entitled “Fantastic,” to more firmly politically tie his Republican challenger to the Romney-Ryan agenda in Washington.

“At the end of the day, Brendan Doherty wants Republicans in control of Congress and Mitt Romney setting the agenda in the White House. In fact, he thinks Romney would “be fantastic for Rhode Island,’” said Cicilline campaign manager Eric Hyers, detailing the spot..

“Rhode Islanders will have a clear choice this November between re-electing President Obama and Congressman Cicilline so we can get our state back on the right track, or voting for Mitt Romney, Brendan Doherty, and the Washington Republicans who got us into this mess to begin with.”

In the 30 second spot, Doherty emphasizes his support for Romney at a March 3, 2012 candidate forum, saying, “I think he’d be fantastic for Rhode Island.”

In January 2012, Doherty formally endorsed Romney for President, describing him as a “proven leader.” In the same month, Doherty traveled to New Hampshire to campaign for Romney and was later introduced to the Republican presidential nominee by former Rhode Island Governor Don Carcieri.

The political spot also outlines areas where Romney and Doherty agree on policy – including their support for repealing President Obama’s historic health care reform law, as well as their mutual opposition to reproductive freedoms for women and the Buffett Rule that would require millionaires to pay at least the same tax rate as the middle class.

As the Dust Settles…

Here are questions that voters in Congressional District 1 must ask themselves before they enter the polls in the November election:

Can Doherty successfully repackage himself as a moderate Republican? If so, with a Republican-controlled House, captured by a radical Tea Party who philosophically opposes political compromise, as a moderate Republican will he vote for Democratic initiatives that the majority of his Democratic constituents support. Or can he stand the “heat in the kitchen” and vote against his House Republican leadership.

Can the voters forgive the former Providence Mayor, now their Congressman, for his statements made about the fiscal health of his City as he left office? If so, they must determine if it is more important to keep this seat Democratic, in hopes of bringing the political party back to power in that Chamber.

With the November election looming, the Cicilline-Doherty political battle, truly becomes the classic “He said, She said,” debate, with the voters ultimately finding out the truth in the New Congress.

Herb Weiss is a Pawtucket-based freelance writer who covers aging, health care and medical issues.

Changing the World One Person at a Time

Published September 21, 2012, Pawtucket Times

You do not have to be in political office, a government official or own and operate a business, or run a nonprofit, to make Rhode Island a better place to live or work. Individually, we can work daily by performing good deeds to those who cross our paths that ultimately contribute to the greater good of your community.

Catherine Ryan Hyde’s novel, Pay It Forward, published in 1999, was adapted into a Warner Brothers film (with the same moniker) one year later, bringing the “Pay It Forward” concept to millions of Americans. In the PG film, young Trevor McKinney learns that positive community change can occur just by doing three good deeds. He sees the positive impact of “Pay it Forward” and learns that the practice of helping one another can “spread geometrically through society at a ration of three to one, creating a social movement to making the world a better place.”

We are drawn to the tormented 12 year old Treavor McKinney, who is living with an alcoholic mother and conflicted by fears of his abusive, but mostly absent father. The young boy takes on a school assignment given to his class by the new social studies teacher, Mr. Simonet. The assignment is to “create something to change the world” and put it into action. For his project, Treavor embellishes on an idea where instead of repaying a favor or good deed back to someone – the recipient would ‘Pay It Forward’ by doing a good deed to three new people. Ultimately, McKinney sees the impact of this school assignment, like a rock thrown skipping in a pond, making ever-wide traveling ripples in the water.

This “Pay It Forward” concept is not a new one. According to Wikipedia, in a letter to Benjamin Webb dated April 15, 1784, Benjamin Franklin clearly penned his support of the concept in that correspondence.

The founding father wrote: “I do not pretend to give such a Sum; I only lend it to you. When you […] meet with another honest Man in similar Distress, you must pay me by lending this Sum to him; enjoining him to discharge the Debt by a like operation, when he shall be able, and shall meet with another opportunity. I hope it may thus go thro’ many hands, before it meets with a Knave that will stop its Progress. This is a trick of mine for doing a deal of good with a little money.”

Like Franklin, University student Christopher Lo took this concept to heart. He was inspired by the unexpected return of a lost video camera, leading him to create the web site http://www.thekarmaseed.org in 2010. The equipment was misplaced after he accidentally left it outside the University’s library. Although it did not immediately turn up at the school’s “lost and found” website, a stranger finally turned it in. Amazingly, that simple act of kindness of returning a lost video camera led to the creation of a web site to track all the good deeds “passed forward,” to illustrate the positive impact of the concept.

Lo created a “Karma Seed,” a small plastic card with a unique identification number, detailing the website location. If you perform a favor for someone, you just give them the plastic card and request that the person register the plastic card at the website. This person then “pays the good deed forward” requesting that the new recipient of kindness to go online and register the card after they became the recipient of a good deed. Any recipient or giver of a Karma Seed card can go back to the website and see a detailed history of the good deeds that followed the original act of kindness.

Lo’s Karma Seed organization contributes 50 percent of the profits to The Karma Seed Foundation to support social projects in communities surrounding WashingtonUniversity in St. Louis.

One year later, a Louisiana affiliate of ABC NEWS, did a story on The Newton Project, a 501(c)(3) outreach organizations established to show that even with the world facing big problems, each person can make a unique, individual difference simply by taking the time to show love, appreciation and kindness to those around them. Like Lo, the founder, Michael Phillips, based the mission of his organization on the classic “Pay It Forward” concept, but demonstrates the impact of each act on the world by tracking each wristband with a unique identification number and quantifying the lives each has touched. The Newton Project’s attempt to determine the benefits of a Pay It Forward type system can be viewed by the general public at http://www.thenewtonproject.com.

Meanwhile, the “Pay it Forward” movement got a jump start with businessman Charley Johnson taking the helm of the Pay It Forward Foundation (www.pifexperience.org) in 2012. He walked away from Corporate America to change the world one person at a time. The former owner of a manufacturing company had an idea for encouraging kindness acts by creating a Pay it Forward Bracelet that could be worn as a reminder of the importance of doing good deeds to strangers who cross your path. Today, over a 1.5 million Pay it Forward bracelets have been distributed in over 112 countries sparking some amazing acts of kindness. Few bracelets remain with their original recipients, however, as they circulate in the spirit of the reciprocal or generalized altruism.

Singing his praises, Pay It Forward author Catherine Ryan Hyde, who also founded the Pay it Forward Foundation in 2000, “Charley says he’s going to make this ‘the biggest thing the world has ever seen. If anybody else said that, I might not believe it. But nothing is out of the question when Charley goes after it.”

Start today with making a difference in your neighborhood, office and throughout your daily travels, with a simple act of kindness to a stranger. Doing this and requesting the beneficiary of your action to just “Pay It Forward” may have major positive implications for your neighborhood, City or town, the OceanState and even the World. Amazing.

Herb Weiss is a freelance writer covering aging, health care and medical issues. He can be reached at hweissri@aol.com.