Author Archives for Herb Weiss

When its Time to Take Away Mom and Dad’s Car Keys

Published in Pawtucket Times, April 12, 2013

On May 2, 2003, Rhode Island State Rep. Mabel Anderson was looking to buy her husband George a surprise birthday present from one of his favorite stores, Home Depot. As she was walking and pushing a shopping carriage near the front entrance of the huge box store located in the Bristol Place Shopping Center in South Attleboro, Massachusetts, an 86-year old driver getting ready to exit his parking space, accidently shifted his vehicle into ‘reverse’ rather than ‘drive,’ stepped on the gas peddle. This jolted the vehicle in the wrong direction, running over Anderson. She was transported to the nearby hospital, where hours later, she would be pronounced dead. Anderson’s tragic death almost a decade ago continues to be played out today in communities across the nation.

Aging baby boomers, coping with a decline in their driving skills because of the aging process, keep driving well into their twilight years, when for safety’s sake, they should just retire the keys.

Driving Skills Decline in Later Years

According to the National Highway Safety Administration, in 2010, older individuals made up 17 percent of all traffic accidents and 8 percent of all people injured in crashes during that year. Compared to 2009, fatalities among this age group increased by 3 percent, 1 percent for these older persons being injured.

Meanwhile, John Paul, Manager of Public Affairs and Traffic Safety at AAA Southern New England, details research findings indicating that driving can be dangerous in your very later years. The report released by Carnegie Mellon University in Pittsburgh and the AAA Foundation for Traffic Safety, found the rate of deaths involving drivers 75 to 84 “is about three per million miles driven – on par with teen drivers,” says Paul. But, once they pass age 85, vehicular fatality rates jump to nearly four times that of teens, he says.

Older motorists lose their ability to drive when the aging process kicks in. For these individuals, driving skills lessen because of poor vision caused by cataracts, glaucoma and macular degeneration, compounded with poor hearing, lack of flexibility, limited range of motion and reduced reaction time make the complex tasks associated with driving more difficult. Oncoming cognitive impairments, such as Alzheimer’s Disease and dementias, can also impact one’s ability to drive safely.

As older driver fatalities increase and the death toll tied to older-driver accidents skyrocket, a growing number of states are looking at licensing restrictions as a way to delicately approach this complicated issue.

Like many aging advocates, Gerry Levesque, AARP’s State Coordinator for Driver Safety Program, states that not all seniors are equally affected as they age. “One may lose the necessary skills needed to drive safely at age 60, while another will not lose those skills until 90”, states the 66-year-old Coventry resident.

“For older adults, losing driving privileges can be translated as a loss of independence,” notes Levesque. If this occurs, family or public transportation may not be available to replace the lack of transportation. “Older people may feel stranded or abandoned when they give up their keys,” says Levesque, noting that driving allows an older adult to pick up their prescriptions, shop for groceries or get out to socialize at the bridge club, bingo parlor or simply to be with family and friends.

“One thing that seniors have that the younger generation does not is a lifetime of driving. While they are losing physical abilities, they do have a wealth of experience from their years of driving,” adds Levesque.

Coping with an Aging Population that Drives

Over the years, states have grappled with the age-charged issue of restricting licenses of seniors not wishing to stir up their wrath. Aging advocates oppose any “blanket” solution to this problem that calls for licensing restrictions, rather it be made on a case-by-case basis. They say age should not be used as a “predictor” of unsafe driving.

In Rhode Island, the Division of Motor Vehicles (DMV) prorates its license renewal cycle for person’s age 71 and older. If you are 75 years of age or older, you license will be valid for two years. At license renewal time, the older person is required to pass a vision test or provide a valid medical examination certificate. A person’s physical or mental fitness to operate a motor vehicle is reviewed by DMV’s Medical Advisory Board whenever a case is brought to its attention by law enforcement, a physician or a family member.

With a growing aging population, Rhode Island’s Department of Transportation (RIDOT) has moved to tackle senior driving issues head-on. Two years ago, this state agency began to install a series of reflective markers or “roadside delineators” installed on the sides of roads as well as mounted on small posts and on top of concrete barriers. Especially geared for older drivers, these improvements were made to assist in making night-time driving easier and safer, while also aided driving during adverse weather

In addition to these improvements, RIDOT has installed cable guard rails along narrow medians on the Interstate where none previously existed. This safety feature significantly reduces the occurrence of head-on impacts with opposing traffic. State transportation officials have also made improvements to rural roads, by adding rumble strips, signing and roadside reflectors to help reduce road departure crashes.

Sharpening Your Driving Skills

AARP along with the AAA Southern New England recognized the thorny issues surrounding restrictive licensing and have developed special training courses to help older motorists freshen their skills to help them drive more safety, thus reducing the their risk of having their licenses revoked by state authorities.

AAA’s Senior Defense Driving Program (www.seniordriving.aaa.com) provides information about the aging process and its impact on a person’s ability to drive. The program gives tips on how a person can compensate for these changes and drive safer for a longer period of time. Additionally, a self-administered program, called “Roadwise Review” provides confidential and instant feedback on performance in key areas, allowing individuals to see how changing visual, mental and physical conditions do impact driving. In addition, the Auto Club’s “Roadwise RX” allows older drivers to look at the interaction between medications and driving.

AARP’s Safe Driving Program, (http://www.aarp.org/home-garden/transportation/driver_safety) the nation’s first and largest refresher course for drivers age 50 and older, has helped millions of drivers sharpen their driving skills. The four-hour program teaches defensive driving techniques, new traffic laws and rules of the road, as well as (and more importantly) how to adjust your driving style to those age-related changes to vision, hearing and reaction time. After successfully completing the Aging Group’s Safe Driving Program held in Rhode Island, the attendee is awarded a certificate of completion. The state mandates that the insurance carrier give a discount on their liability coverage to the policy holder with this certificate.

Surrendering the Keys

Ultimately, the burden may well fall on the family or the older motorist’s physician who must take the keys away from the driving-challenged senior for not only the driver’s safety, but for the safety of those sharing the road as well.

In the late 1990s my mother began exhibiting signs of dementia, and yet my father could not stop my mother from driving. The only solution appeared to come from making a call to the Texas Department of Motor Vehicles (TDMV) for help.

Several times mother got lost driving around our neighborhood, a once familiar area for her, ultimately ending up on the dangerous LBJ Freeway, miles from home and confused. With her driving skills rapidly deteriorating, my siblings took on the task of making that hard decision of taking the car keys away from her. After several meetings with TDMV officials, the agency finally took away her driver’s license.

As difficult as this decision was for my family to make, ultimately for my mother who was in the mid-to-late stages of dementia, did not realize that she had lost her driving privileges and her precious keys.

Kristi Grigsby, Vice President of Content of AgingCare.com, agrees that taking the keys away from an elderly parent is one of the most difficult decisions that family caregivers must make. “The loss of independence can be traumatic for a senior,” she says, noting that some elderly parents can accept the life-altering change; others understandably can not.

Grigsby warns that the consequences of doing nothing far outweigh the wrath of an angry parent. “Stories of tragedies that could have been avoided had those keys been taken away are sometimes all the inspiration needed to stand firm and make a painful decision with confidence,” she says.

For more information about taking the keys away from an elderly parent go to http://www.agingcare.com/Articles/Taking-the-Keys-What-To-Do-If-Mom-or-Dad-Won-t-Give-Them-Up-112307.htm. Information on this web site, AgingCare.com,
connects people caring for their elderly parents with experts on aging issues and caregivers who visit this site help family members make the best care decisions for older loved ones.

Herb Weiss, LRI ’12, is a Pawtucket-based freelance writer who covers aging, health care and medical issues. He can be reached at hweissri@aol.com.

Like the Energizer Bunny, Steve Smith & The Nakeds Keep Going…

Published in the Pawtucket Times, April 5, 2013

          Following months of speculation, The Rolling Stones have announced their upcoming 50th anniversary tour leaving many fans in awe of their continued energy, stamina and staying power. And like the venerable British rockers, Rhode Island’s own Steve Smith & The Nakeds, currently celebrating their 40th anniversary, have also proven their staying power as they continue to enjoy a full touring schedule and an ever-growing fan base.

 Fondly called simply “The Nakeds” by their legion of fans, this band of middle-aged musicians operate just like the Energizer Bunny – they keep going, and going, and going… 

         The band began in 1973 as Naked Truth and Steve Smith and the 62 other guys who have passed through the band’s ranks are among just a handful of Rhode Island musicians who can claim that milestone. (They became The Nakeds in 1981 to avoid confusion with a Long Island band also called Naked Truth; the word “truth” remains with them to this day “hidden” within their logo.)

          In recognition of their success and their impact on the Rhode Island music scene, on Sunday, April 28, 2013, Steve Smith & The Nakeds will be among the nine new inductees into the Rhode Island Music Hall of Fame (RIMHOF).

 The Younger Years 

         Looking back, Smith clearly remembers a Saturday night tradition in his family – a musical talent show – when he and others would perform in front of the refrigerator. The sixty-one-year old’s singing career began at his family-built seaside retreat on Carpenter’s Beach in scenic Matunuck, Rhode Island, where as a four year old, he would sing Pat Boone’s “Love Letters in the Sand” to his family and friends.  

           At the tender age of seven, Smith’s father, recognizing his son’s growing vocal range, enrolled him in classical voice training.  In 1964, the elder Smith, a traveling salesman who loved to listen to the radio while on the road, knew talent when he heard it and gave his teenaged son a newly released album, “Meet the Beatles,” and told him, “These guys are gonna be great and I want you to listen to them.”  His father’s sage advice ultimately led young Smith to form his first band with his cousin, John Cafferty. The newly formed rock group of junior high students, The Nightcrawlers, would go on to win a Battle of the Bands contest held in Smithfield area in the late 1960s, beating out several established and seasoned college-aged bands. (Steve’s cousin John would find fame in the 1980s with his band Beaver Brown’s score for the motion picture “Eddie and The Cruisers.”)

 The Long Journey

         Looking back, Smith, a 1973 graduate of ProvidenceCollege, never thought he would still be performing  in his sixties. As the group’s band leader recently noted, “We figured we would keep playing as long as the phone kept ringing.” And that it did!  

        During the band’s early years, Smith remarks that business was booming. He had a jam-packed calendar of bookings at concerts, clubs, and special events.  However, in 1984, lawmakers reinstated the 21 year old drinking age and the band saw its bookings dwindle.  “We went from playing seven days a week to only performing on weekends,” he said.   

         But, Smith would put his hard earned College education in graphic design to very good use, a career that would ultimately help him to survive the lean economic times.  

         According to the life-long Smithfield resident, his band’s longevity and success was tied to the “high caliber of the musicians who played in the group” throughout its four decades. Smith’s strong vocals, combined with a five-piece horn section and a guitar, keyboards, bass and drums rhythm section, gave The Nakeds its own unique style of Rock ‘n’ Roll and Rhythm & Blues.

         The Nakeds fame began to spread after the release of their first album in 1984, “Coming To A Theatre Near You,” and they appeared on MTV’s  “Basement Tapes.” They signed on with Miller Beer’s “Rock Network” promotion as one of the best unsigned bands in the country and were featured on a RCA Records compilation album.

        Over the years, Smith and the band often shared the stage with Bruce Springsteen’s saxophonist, the late Clarence Clemons, mounting a series of critically acclaimed national tours which included a 1994 appearance with President Bill Clinton at his health rally at Liberty State Park in New Jersey. Clarence and another E Street band member, Nils Lofgren, contributed heavily to the band’s best-selling 2000 album, “Never Say Never.”

          In 2009, the band’s 1984 indie hit, “I’m Huge (and the Babes Go Wild)” was featured on the DVD for the sixth season of “The Family Guy.” The often-controversial Fox Network cartoon, which takes place in the fictitious town of Quahog, Rhode Island, would immortalize the group when a YouTube posting of the video went viral and the group were offered a Sony Records deal. The “I’m Huge” album, a best-of compilation from their earlier releases, became the biggest selling album of their career. The video remains a fan favorite and is approaching 400,000 views.

          Steve Smith & The Nakeds will take their place among Rhode Island’s musical greats when they are inducted on April 28th into the Rhode Island Music Hall of Fame as members of the Class of 2013. RIMHOF Vice Chair and Archive Director Rick Bellaire has this to say about the band. “With a new album, “Under The Covers,” just out and a full schedule of shows on the horizon, there’s no doubt in my mind that The Nakeds will be around to help us celebrate the Class of 2023 during their 50th anniversary tour! We are extremely proud to honor them with this induction and they are stoked to pull out all the stops for their induction concert on the 28th.”

 Introducing the other 2013 Inductees:

        In announcing RIMHOF’s Class of 2013, Bellaire notes that “sometimes it’s easy to forget, and it may be hard to believe, that such world-acclaimed artists actually have roots right here in Rhode Island just like the rest of us.”

          Bellaire says, “For the smallest state, Rhode island has produced an inordinately large number of truly great, successful and important artists,” and that their devoted local fans helped to place them on the word stage.

         Bellaire adds some of his thoughts about the other new RIMHOF inductees: 

        Cowsills – A family band in the truest sense of the term – six siblings and their

mom! They sang their way out of Newport all the way to the top of the charts.

(The Cowsills were feature in my January 25, 2013 Commentary.)

         George M. Cohan – The pivotal figure in the development of the modern Broadway theater tradition grew up in Fox Point;

         Sissieretta Jones – One of the greatest sopranos in the history of modern opera headquartered and managed her career from Pratt Street on the East Side of Providence;

         Bill Flanagan – A guy from Warwick who went from writing about music in all of our local papers to editing Musician Magazine and then became the Vice-President of MTV and VH-1, but continued to promote and advocate for Rhode Island music along the way;

        Jimmie Crane – From the 1950s through the ’70s, he wrote a long string of huge hit songs for such stars as Eddie Fisher, Doris Day and Elvis Presley, all the while maintaining a successful jewelry manufacturing business in his hometown of Providence and assisting dozens of up-and-coming musicians;

         Bobby Hacket – Bobby was born on Federal Hill, but spent most of his youth in Olneyville where the action really was: Jake E. Conn’s Olympia Theatre and Petteruti’s Twin City Music store. He became one of the greatest – and most acclaimed- improvisors in the history of jazz;

        Eddie Zack & The Hayloft Jamboree – The Zackarian family of Providence virtually introduced Country & Western music into Rhode Island and the Northeast at large, recording for Decca and Columbia Records and broadcasting nationwide on the NBC radio network, but always maintained their home and headquarters right here in Rhode Island;

         Paul Geremia – The world-acclaimed acoustic artist, who has not only helped keep the folk-blues tradition alive, but has brought it into the modern era with his unique guitar style and voice, grew up in SilverLake!  

         “As the organization grows,” RIMHOF Chair Robert Billington says, “the Hall of Fame will be committed to developing programs and services aimed at promoting and strengthening Rhode Island’s musical heritage and ensuring that music continues to play an important role in the lives of all Rhode Islanders.”

         Tickets are $20 in advance or $25 at the door for the evening ceremony event and $10.00 in advance or at the door for the afternoon ceremony event. The Cowsills and other inductees will perform. Tickets can be purchased at http://www.rhodeislandmusichalloffame.com.

         Herb Weiss, LRI ’12, is a Pawtucket-based freelance writer who covers aging, health care and medical issues.  He can be reached at hweissri@aol.com.   He also serves on RIMHOF’s Board of Directors.

 

 

 

When That Time Comes for Liquidating Your Childhood Home

Published in the Pawtucket Times, March 29, 2013 

            It’s now a traditional rite of passage that marks a person transitioning to baby boomer-hood, that is the difficult task of cleaning out a childhood home. Like millions of aging baby boomers before her, a writer friend of mine is now facing this later life stage milestone and the challenging chore of cleaning out 50 years of accumulated “stuff” in her parent’s home, following the recent passing of her widowed father.

 

            The East Providence resident tells me that her parents, married for over 60 years, had lived in the same 1960s ranch-style house for 50 years, and the older couple’s household goods just kept accumulating.  “Beyond basic cleaning, my parents never really ‘decluttered’ or even had a yard sale,” she noted, where they could easily get rid of household clutter to make some extra cash.

 Overcoming Seller’s Guilt, Finding Time to Sort

             Never mind the emotional feelings experienced, especially the twinge of guilt at disposing of things that were once important to her parents, accumulated over five decades.  But what about the time it takes to just sift through a lifetime of accumulated household goods, clothing, and furniture, says my overwhelmed friend. “It’s just too much stuff to get rid of – especially with my very demanding full-time job and little time on the weekends to sort through things.”   

             “Many of my parent’s personal items, like a sold dark cherry wood bedroom set, dishes, glasses, barware and vases from the 1940s and 1950s, boxes of old coins, even hand-embroidered table cloths and runners, are just too nice to get rid of at a weekend yard sale,” notes my friend. But, because of their age these items may not be considered truly antiques, she says.

 

            “Where do you take mom’s collection of Franklin Mint plates, porcelain figurines of carousel horses and birds, even some Hummel pieces?” my friend asks, who does not want to drive around to the coin store, antique dealer or linen store to sell each item.  Selling on EBay is just too much work, she believes.

 

Choosing the Right Strategy to Liquidate

           So, what steps do older children take in cleaning out a lifetime of their parent’s personal mementos and personal belongings from their childhood home?  Do you rent a dumpster and indiscriminately begin tossing away their loved ones cherished possessions, or hire a professional liquidator or a junk hauler to have someone come and do the pitching for you?   What about holding a big weekend yard sale, that might just do the trick?  Be warned, by choosing one of these options you might be under-selling an item that could be valuable due to its age, quality or rarity.    

           Making the right decision on how to liquidate your parent’s personal belongings might just rest on how financially well-heeled they were,” says Scott Davis, who operates New England’s highest volume antiques venue, the Rhode Island Antique Mall with his wife Rae.  “Having liquidated many hundreds of estates I can tell you that unless you come from a family of significant means or your parents were knowledgeable collectors, it’s highly unlikely that the combined value of the estate’s tangible assets is going to have a wholesale liquidation value of over $5,000 once the family claims the items they want to keep (which are usually the most valuable)” notes the antique dealer.   “Thus you have to make a decision about how much effort is really appropriate for you to spend trying to get top dollar for every object.”

            “If your parent’s estate is known to have higher value tangible assets you might want to first hire an appraiser to determine the value of at least the most important items,” suggests Davis, noting that “a legitimate appraiser should always charge by the hour, not by item value.”

           Davis states that higher-end antique dealers or auction houses will “cherry pick” your items, only taking the most interesting and valuable things.  Antique dealers should typically pay the most for each item.  Auctioneers might bring more but will never guarantee it, and many items sold at auction bring shockingly low prices so deciding which way to go depends on your risk tolerance.  Others dealers or liquidators will offer to take a larger percentage of the household goods at a lower cost per item while junk dealers or junk removal services may take everything in the house but will frequently actually charge you for the service while keeping anything they can re-sell.   “You have to determine what type of service suits your situation best,” he says, going on to say that in his experience it never pays to go straight to the junk guy first.

           Davis recommends that in most cases it doesn’t pay to attempt to sell items yourself noting that it can be very time consuming to sell things one piece at a time and buyers are hesitant to pay retail prices to inexperienced sellers.  An antique dealer or private buyers can be easily found on-line, in local phone books, or in dealer directories that can be found in local shops.  According to Davis, if you chose this option, dealers will typically offer you less than half of the anticipated retail value of the items but they of course have a lot of risk and expense along with their entitlement to earn a profit for their efforts.

          Some folks attempt to sell their items on EBay or Craig’s List but Davis warns that unless you have a lot of prior experience, the results are usually disappointing or worse.  Selling on-line yourself requires a lot of time for research, photography, copywriting, corresponding and shipping while buyers tend to shy away from sellers who have little or no feedback; resulting in no takers for fixed price sales or very low prices realized for auction sales.

           While it may take longer to sell everything, consignment is another option you might consider, Davis says.  However, the Pawtucket-based antique dealer warns that you’ll usually pay from 35% to 60% of the items retail selling price for this service. 

           Davis urges folks to always look for customer traffic, location, reputation and fee structure if you choose to place items on consignment.  Check the references of the antique dealer or liquidator you may be interested in working with, inspecting their retail establishment to determine if it is professionally run.  Meanwhile, he notes that consigned piece usually sells in 60 days or less; otherwise the price is reduced or the item is returned to you.  Antique shops or malls are the best places to consign more valuable antiques, collectibles and vintage items, while newer or lesser valued items will usually do best in local consignment shops that focus on useful second hand items.  Pawn shops are rarely if ever your best option unless you wish to borrow money using the items as collateral, he says. 

           When cleaning out a home, consider throwing away old mattresses, towels, bedding and paperwork yourself, as these items are usually not valuable and will cost you more for others to dispose of, says Davis, noting that often times it is not easy to determine what other things should just be thrown away.  “Although traditional antiques and collectibles like pottery, glassware and china, frequently have little demand in today’s market, seemingly valueless items that include war souvenirs, political memorabilia and even nostalgic items like old phones, light fixtures and old linens, may be quite valuable,” he says. 

          Davis warns not to begin your house cleaning by throwing things away in a dumpster or planning your yard sale without calling a reputable antique dealer or estate liquidator to assist you in “separating the wheat from the chafe” first.   They are accustomed to sorting through drawers, boxes, closets and basements and their experience enables them to quickly identify valuable items, he says.

         Finally, rare antiques and collectibles can be sold for top dollar at auctions, Davis notes. “The right item in the wrong auction can produce a total flop,” he observes, noting that there’s usually a long wait between the day you initially contact an auction house and day it actually sells – probably about a year.  A good full-service liquidator can help you to determine when auctioning is the right option and if so, which auctioneer will suit you best.  They are usually paid by the auctioneer for this referral service, so it’s a no-lose for the seller.        

             For more information on liquidating your childhood home, contact Scott Davis at 401/475-3400, email him at RIAntiquesMall@cox.net, or go to riantiquesmall.com.

 

            Herb Weiss, LRI ‘12, is a Pawtucket-based freelance writer who covers aging, health care and medical issues.  He can be reached at hweissri@aol.com.