Published in Woonsocket Call on March 11, 2018
Effective communication is a major factor for women executives to be successful on the job and for having healthy personal relationships, says Author Donna Mac, a well-known corporate communications trainer and keynote speaker. Ms. Mac is based in south eastern Massachusetts, with 30 years of experience in the communications industry.
The corporate communications expert notes that a recent article in Psychology Today says that whether a partner’s communication “lifts you up or brings you down” is the single largest predictor of divorce. “That one trait can also translate into work too, observes Mac. “Often, a company’s greatest talent leaves a job because of miscommunication or a lack of communication and limited trust,” she says.
“Our society is changing at an incredible pace, so we often fail to have those vital conversations or to take time to ensure that understanding has taken place. Details fall through the cracks and we spend more time picking up the pieces than if we had taken a few moments to communicate effectively in the first place,” says Mac.
Western Women Will Save The World
In 2012, Mac said, the Dali Lama was quoted as saying, “western women will save the world”. “I agree and disagree”, says Mac. “I believe His Holiness saw the importance of bringing softer, more nurturing communication skills into the workplace. It’s clear he was talking about the skills that prove to people that you’ve taken the time to think and care about them,” she says.
Mac says, “Empathetic communication skills are more important now than ever. But the workplace also needs employees who have thick skin; professionals who are able to articulate the rules, regulations and take a firm stand on issues. Those skills,” Mac says, “are the kind that will get you noticed by upper management. They come from someone not afraid to do and say the right thing at the right time, even if discomforting,” she says.
“I see it all the time. Like when a boss doesn’t provide her employees constructive feedback for fear of how that worker will feel,” says Mac, noting that when this happens it can be a great disservice to the employee and the organization because you’ve lost an opportunity for everyone to maximize the potential of the company and its people.
Speaking & Communicating Mindfully
Even with three decades of communication experience under her belt, Mac doesn’t lose sight of the fact that she’s still has more to learn. “I learn new modalities all the time. These days, I’m helping people become more mindful of how they communicate and what they can and cannot control. I’ve sharpened these skills through some recent mindfulness training. That means shutting down our noisy, overstimulated brains by sitting in silence, noticing our biases and doing breathing exercises”.
“It’s amazing”, Mac says, how communicating mindfully helps with the fear of speaking. We fear speaking at the podium and we also fear having challenging conversations. Being more mindful helps you feel more confident as you acquire the tools necessary to communicate.”
“We’ve been taught not to focus on our weaknesses,” Mac says, “but if you want to communicate more effectively, it’s vital that you know what they are. This way, if you are more reserved, you are not overpowered by colleagues or partners who are more outgoing. If your communication skills are more boisterous, you can learn the virtues of slowing down, judging less and listening better.”
“I help people understand people, so they’re able to tune in and relate better. Email and texting is not going away but I think everyone knows that our society can be healthier with more human-to-human interaction and less time on our cell phones! We will also have a more balanced society when communicators are able to be kind and to speak with certainty.”
Mac suggests that if you want to become a more effective communicator, don’t focus on changing others. “When you begin to find your voice after being more introverted, you can actually become more influential pretty quickly. If you’ve been a very communicative person and begin to ask more questions and listen, those around you will notice.”
“It takes time, energy and effort to become a more effective communicator but the benefits at work and at home are well worth it. Plus, the time for all people to acquire the confidence and ability to speak is long overdue. So, ask yourself,” Mac suggests, “are you ready and able to take on the challenge?”
With the #MeToo movement and growing number of incidents of sexual harassment being reported daily, says she spends more time looking forward than in the past. “Just about every woman has a story of being or feeling intimidated. And it’s a different world now. Thanks to the many women who have come forward, it’s a perfect time to learn how to shut down someone who is seeking to take advantage.”
Mac says, “I can’t help with the current laws of the land or regulations in various businesses. But everyone in the workplace, women and men, need to the courage and ability to tell an abuser to stop…to say statements like, “I find that comment way out of line and I am asking you to stop now” or “Help me understand what you mean by that. I’m sure you realize that I don’t stand for any type of intimidation”.
“Give them eye contact and stand in your powerful silence. It’s quite effective.”
This month we celebrate Women’s History Month, to showcase the contribution women have made throughout society. Yes, history can be made in corporate American when women stop apologizing for speaking directly. You can do this while still being kind and respectful. It’s like blending traditionally male and female communication traits when you are able to speak using both your brain and your intuition.
Donna Mac is author of Guide to a RICHER LIFE–Know Your Worth, Find Your Voice & Speak Your Mind, and The Six Pillars of Effective Communication. She is also a keynote speaker and private coach. For more details, go to http://www.dmacvoice.com.