Published in Pawtucket Times on March 2001

Years ago, my father gave ma a book, “Life’s Little Instruction Book”.  This book, listed as a best seller by the The New York Times, gave readers 511 suggestions, observations and reminders on how to live a happy, fulfilling and rewarding life.  I give you my version of the book, which can hopefully provide you with a rewarding life slanted toward how to age gracefully.

If I could offer you one tip on how to face the downside of growing older, I say practice looking on the bright side of things.  Every day you have a choice when you get up – the glass must be half-full rather than half-empty.  Attitudes become everything as you get older.

It seems that at the snap of a finger, we find ourselves past the prime of youth.   It is so easy to continually reflect on our successes and especially the bad hands we are dealt in life.  Savor your personal and professional victories but forgive yourself for your defeats.

View your past as a canceled check.  Let go of our past regrets and mistakes made in your youth and middle ages.  But also forgive yourself for your weaknesses.  Even for losing those long ago opportunities that passed right through your fingers, like sand in a clasped hand.  But don’t forget to forgive others too, those who hurt you personally or professionally.  You cannot live or end your life peacefully if you are still holding on to anger, bitterness and grudges, all tied to your past.

You must live in the present with an eye toward the future.  There is not enough time left for any one of us to live with past guilt or grudges.  Let go of the past.  Focus on the future, but live the present.

Don’t be afraid to “tell your life story.”  You have a huge reserve of untapped wisdom about living to share with others, especially the young, who can benefit from it.  Insights you have learned throughout the cyclical ups and downs of your life should be shared with your children and their children.  Younger generations will be at a serious loss if you choose to be silent and not share your knowledge.

Life is not a spectator sport.  Go for the gusto and stay as physically active as you can.  Research tells us “if you rest, you rust.”  Physical exercise elevates your mood and benefits your cardiovascular system.

Research tells us that you must also exercise your brain.  Take time to read daily newspapers, magazines or a local senior publication.  Spend your time working on a challenging crossword puzzle or even playing chess, or possibly mahjong.

Find meaningful things in your life that are bigger than you.  Engage in acts of loving kindness to others.  Research indicates that volunteer work can be a protective buffer from the curve balls that life may throw at us as we get older – or is that as we grow more mature?

Don’t be afraid of asking for help or support.  No one is an island, and we need to become more interdependent as we get older.  Research tells us the more types of relationships we have, from family members, friends, belonging to groups, the healthier you will be.  So, strive to keep up your social contact and personal connection with others.

Finally, no matter what your physical condition, there are always opportunities every day in your environment to help care for somebody.  Take advantage of every opportunity.