Documentary Takes a Look at Speed Dating for Seniors

Published in Pawtucket Times, August 9, 2014

Three years ago, a personal story would lead filmmaker Steven Loring to zero in on a topic for his MFA thesis film while studying at the Social Documentary Film Program in NYC’s School of Visual Arts. His thesis ultimately grew into a 78-minute documentary, “The Age of Love,” which follows the adventures of 30 seniors who sign up for a speed dating event exclusively for 70- to 90-year-olds. The film premieres at the Rhode Island International Film Festival, Sunday, August 10, at 12:15 p.m. at the Paff Theatre at URI, 80 Washington Street, Providence. And there’s a special offer for anyone who comes to the box office with a date: When you buy one ticket, your date gets in FREE! Any date! Any age!

The story took shape after the passing away of Loring’s father in 2008 left his still-vibrant mother alone after being married to her soul mate for nearly half a century. At that same time, his 80-year old uncle, who’d never even dated, to Loring’s amazement suddenly fell madly in love with an 80-year-old woman, both acting like love-struck teenagers.

“It was like they were in high school again,” Loring says, noting that the couple walked around holding hands and that he even found their bedroom door shut when he visited.

These events pushed the Brooklyn-based filmmaker to take a look at relationships in one’s later years. His research efforts revealed that the nation’s media had neglected issues involving seniors’ emotional and intimate needs. On the internet, he found that speed dating for seniors was a newly emerging trend which had occurred in a few communities in Florida and Colorado. Ultimately, a speed dating event in Rochester, New York would give him the perfect place to explore and document and come away with new insights into the issue.

Loring’s efforts to reconcile two dynamically opposite life experiences, losing a long-term intimate relationship and suddenly finding one at an advanced age, led the graduate student to finally formulate this thesis question, “Do decades of life and loss constrict our hearts, or might time develop them in unexpected ways,” That’s the question the 51-year-old filmmaker attempts to answer in his film project.

Speed Dating for Seniors

Loring’s documentary, a winner of the 2013 Paley Center DocFest Pitch Competition and recently awarded a prestigious Fledgling Fund social engagement grant, follows the amusing and emotional adventures of the seniors who signed up for the Rochester speed dating event, which was organized by a ‘healthy aging’ coalition to bring new social opportunities to the older community. The trendy matchmaking process allowed these individuals to meet for a brief five minutes. When the time was up the organizer sounded a bell, signaling participants to move on to the next table. Each kept a tally of those they would like to contact later. If both parties were interested in each other, a follow up date would occur.

According to Loring, as a result of the heavy promotion of this unique event, combined with the intense local media buzz, “dozens of area seniors called to register, all willing to put themselves out there, to take stock of their aging bodies and still-hopeful hearts.”

“The film takes viewers where no documentary has gone before – directly into the lives of older singles who still yearn to be seen and understood, who still desire another’s touch, who seek a new chance of love,” says Loring. Unlike other recent documentaries exploring issues of aging, the film maker saw an “opportunity to break social and generational barriers by looking at the older participants not in terms of singular talents or specific communities, but through shared, human desires.”

For three months, Loring filmed without a crew. He was able to easily develop personal relationships with the senior speed daters “allowing candid stories to emerge by following their everyday routines,” he says.
Looking to Find That Perfect Match

Loring notes that some participants came seeking simple companionship, while others came looking for that special mate. Among the speed daters who appear in the film: An 81-year-old bodybuilding champ, divorced since his fifties, who still believes new love is possible; a skydiving widow who dulls her loss by pursuing younger men; a grandmother and online-dating addict searching the web for Mr. Right; a romantic 79-year-old who discards his portable oxygen for a sunset tango on the beach, a 1940s movie fanatic who escaped an abusive marriage, yet still seeks her ‘Fred and Ginger’ romance.

Janice Ledtke, 78, a resident of Webster, New York, a suburb of Rochester, remembers making the decision to participate in speed dating. After 38 years of being single following her divorce in 1976, she jumped at the chance to meet new people. “What did I have to lose,” says Ledtike, a former property management employee, who met dates over the years at singles groups or through being fixed up by friends.

“You never know who you just might meet,” remembers Ledtike, noting when her friends found out about her participation in the speed dating event and documentary, “they thought I was crazy, but it’s just another one of my adventures.”

Ledtke says she met a variety of personalities at the speed dating event. But her follow up dates with a film maker, a retired professor and an owner of a small insurance company went nowhere. “I was not necessarily looking to find the love of my life, but if it happened, it happened,” she adds, stressing that it was not the end of the world because she came away with a number of new friends.

Linda Sorrendino, 72, had many long-term relationships since her 1973 divorce. “I have many diamonds to prove this,” quips the resident of Victor, New York. Over the years, like Ledtke, she would meet people by attending singles groups or through friends.

Learning from a friend about the speed dating event, Sorrendino, a retired office clerk, immediately signed up. “You just never know. As to landing a relationship, “you just go with the flow,” she remarks.

As Sorrendino reflects on her speed dating experience and her late life relationships, she notes, “I don’t want to be with a decrepit old man, but I also don’t want to be with somebody a lot younger who looks better that I do and feels like he’s with an old lady.”

A Final Thought…

“The film’s message is so positive and encouraging,” said AARP Rhode Island State Director Kathleen Connell. “Watching these folks surely will make it easier for others to re-enter the dating scene. At the same time, there is a subtext that is very important: No one featured in the documentary seems desperate. Each has found a way to move on from divorce or loss of a spouse or partner. Will they find their storybook ending? I think the film makes it clear that there are no promises. But there’s a strong message that giving love another chance is not so intimidating – especially if you find some an organized group that puts you among people of similar age and circumstance.”

The documentary also will reveal to its broader audience that the desire for companionship and intimacy does not evaporate at some advanced specific age,” Connell added. “These feelings are not always easy for people to discuss with their children or grandchildren. Its great people get to see these folks take part in the speed-dating experience because in the accompanying interviews they reveal hopes and fears many hold inside. But I love the takeaway: ‘If something happens, that’s great. If not, I’ll still be okay.’”

Loring plans to work with AARP and other ‘healthy aging’ organizations across the country to bring older adults together in 25 cities next year at senior speed dating events. For more information go to theAgeofLoveMovie.com or email steven@theAgeofLoveMovie.com

Herb Weiss, LRI ’12, is a Pawtucket writer covering aging, health care and medical issues. He can be reached at hweissri@aol.com.

Overnight Vacations Popular with Aging Baby Boomers

Published in Pawtucket Times, August 1, 2014

As the nation slowly emerges from a severe economic downturn along with gas prices rising, a new AARP Bulletin Survey delves into travel planning of vacationing boomers. A phone survey, statistically sampling 76 million baby boomers sought, to shed light on their views on overnight vacations, specifically, trips taken away from home that usually lasted one night or longer.

According to the May 2014 report, “Boomers and Vacations: An AARP Bulletin Survey,” over 57 percent of the nation’s boomers say they are planning to take an overnight vacation in the next 12 months. Among those planning this overnight vacation, seven-in-ten (68%) responded they may take more than one overnight trip, while three-in-ten (29%) reported they are just planning to make one overnight excursion.

Getting Away for Short Vacations

The 19 page AARP report noted that almost half of those surveyed (47%), who are planning overnight vacations in the next 12 months, are planning one or two week vacations, while just one-third (34%) are planning to take longer trips, lasting over two weeks.

Overnight vacations can hit boomer vacationer’s right in their wallets, indicate the AARP report’s findings, with survey respondents noting they will budget a minimal of $1,000, up to a whopping $5,000 for an overnight vacation outing. The majority of those surveyed (56%) say that they plan to travel with their spouse or partner, 15 percent plan traveling with their child or children. Meanwhile, seventeen percent say they will go it alone. .

While two-thirds (64%) of vacationing boomers say they will travel to another state within the United States, twenty percent will travel throughout their home state, noted the AARP report. However, 19 percent of survey respondents say they will book vacations outside of the country, with Europe being found to be the most popular destination (38%) followed by Latin or South America (21%), Caribbean (13%), and Canada (10%).

As to motives taking overnight vacations, most respondents say “to see, connect, or spend time with family and/or friends (45%), or “for a pure fun, or relaxation (38%).

Balancing Work and Play

The AARP findings suggest that Boomers are active and looking for ways enjoy life,” Rhode Island State Director Kathleen Connell said. “We all know that staying active is important for both physical and mental health as we age. If this is a trend, I hope it builds and I think it will,” she says, noting that one of the reasons will be that AARP motivates people to be maintain active lifestyles – whether it’s an extended vacation or a day trip to a nearby attraction.

Connell believes that as boomers decide to work longer for the purpose of retirement security, they also realize that as they work longer and harder they have earned a break. “Working longer allows people to delay dipping into retirement savings. Many say that if that’s your plan, you actually can and should reward yourself and take that vacation and return to work refreshed.” she says.

“As to those Boomers who have ‘retired,’ I shouldn’t have to tell you that AARP encourages those people to get out and enjoy life,” says Connell.

“The AARP study certainly reinforces the fact that Boomers have a significant amount of discretionary income and that they are an important part of the economy. If the Boomers stayed home, the tourism industry would be is big trouble,” she observes.

Connell states that “Rhode Island is a great destination for people of all ages and I am sure that the local tourism promoters are aware of that. It’s very competitive out there when it comes to capturing Boomers, so the good news is that even attractive destinations such as Rhode Island offer travel discounts and incentives. People should take advantage, and I imagine the AARP survey reflects some of these opportunities to save, too.”

Rhode Island Tourism Officials Have Their Say

Carl G Richardson, Director, Branch Office Sales & Service, of AAA Southern New England, cites similarities in AARP’s report findings from his personal experiences in the travel industry. Just like the findings that 15% of Boomers are traveling with their child or children, “we’re seeing our members traveling with their grandchildren as well.”

Another finding as to the reason for travel also jumps out for Richardson. “When we conduct our Holiday Travel forecasts we see “visiting family or friends” as the number one reason members travel 50 miles or more away from home. AARP’s findings supports that point,” he says.

Mark Brodeur, Rhode Island’s Tourism Director with Commerce RI, sees boomers as a generation driving tourism to the Ocean State for more than three decades.

As the state’s main sales person and a boomer, Brodeur understand this demographic group, especially their buying power associated with them. “American Express Travel insights indicated that more than 50% of Rhode Island overnight visitors are 50 and above,” he says.

“Boomers are foodies where Rhode island’s varied and celebrated culinary scene fits right in with this demographics interest, says Brodeur, noting that they want fresh, farm or ocean to table creations in a unique atmosphere. “Rhode Island offers some for the country’s best food and foodie experiences. Walking tours, culinary museum, cooking classes, wine, brews and now distilled lavations,” he says…

Brodeur adds, “The boomer is active; walking, cycling, swimming, sailing, tennis. Whether you’re offshore or landside, Rhode Island offers the perfect soft adventure. He observes that the boomer generation is considered lifelong learners; they’re curious, very educated and intellectual. “Rhode Island is a classroom with Colonial to gilded age, industrial to pristine and natural. Audubon, art museums, historic societies and attractions offer educational experiences that are world class,” he says.

Robert Billington, President, of the Pawtucket-based Blackstone Valley Tourism Council, is a firm believer of overnight vacations, experimenting with the idea of seeing providing trips for Rhode Islanders in their home state. Over a decade ago, the Central Falls resident developed a tour, “Tour Rhode Island, There’s No Place Like Home,” one that attracted the attention of Boomers and seniors. “Over 1,200 persons returned, year after year, traveling to sites throughout the Ocean State in 24 motor coaches,” he says.

The tour gave Rhode Islander’s a chance to personally visit places in their home state they never saw, state’s Billington. “Our state has so much to offer visitors and even more to offer its residents but sometimes you have to be shown the beauty in your own back yard,” he adds.

Billington says, for Rhode Island Boomers, especially those outside of the state, the greatest thing Rhode Island offers to vacationers is its size. “You can enjoy the best of America within a1, 240 square miles drive…”

Planning Your Overnight Getaway

AARP’s newest tool to plan your overnight getaways (travel.aarp.org/weekend-getaways), includes itineraries curated by Fodor’s Travel. The collection recommends local escapes less than three hours from home, including where to eat, shop, and stay, from popular cities including Denver, Washington, D.C. and more locations nationwide.

As detailed in a recent release, AARP Travel’s range of travel tools and features include:

● Trip Finder — a fun, smart and visual series of questions to deliver ideas and recommendations for destinations — including some unexpected ones;

● Map Explorer — a detailed street-level interactive map that includes attractions, restaurants, hotels, local color and reviews for each destination;

● My Trips — a personal page where users can save and organize trip ideas, itineraries and related articles in one place and add to or edit them over multiple visits;

● Articles and Destinations — travel tips from AARP Travel Ambassador Samantha Brown, articles specifically geared toward the 50+ traveler and information about hundreds of domestic and international locations; and

● Book Trips — booking tools provided through AARP’s relationships with
Expedia and Liberty Travel and directly to hotels, and rental cars.

Data for AARP’s “Boomers” and Vacation Plan survey were gathered by a random-digit dial telephone omnibus survey fielded March 5-March 30, 2014, using a national representative sample of 1,410 respondents ages 49 to 67 (Boomers). Of those, a total of 907 respondents are under age 60 and a total of 461 are age 60+, and 42 respondents refused to report their actual age.

Herb Weiss, LRI ’12, is a Pawtucket-based writer covering aging, health care and medical issues. He can be reached at hweissri@aol.com.

Tennis and Your Later Years

Published in Pawtucket Times, July 25, 2014

Like bacon and eggs, AARP Rhode Island hopes to make tennis synonymous with AARP’s Life Reimagined initiative. On Friday, July 11, Rhode Island’s largest aging advocacy group firmly tied its national initiative to the International Tennis Hall of Fame & Museum, seeing an immediate opportunity to be associated with one of the world’s most high-profile tennis events, one that matched its age 50 plus membership demographic. The new relationship provided a unique opportunity for the Providence-based group to get the word out about its legislative advocacy and grassroots community work.

This July, AARP Rhode Island unveiled its sponsorship with the Hall of Fame Tennis Championships which drew 22,500 tennis fans from across the country to the International Tennis Hall of Fame & Museum in Newport, Rhode Island. A live telecast of the tennis matches and the tennis organization’s Hall of Fame enshrinement ceremony, which honors the best of the tennis world, was beamed to millions around the tennis world on The Tennis Channel. AARP’s sponsorship include center-court signage at 30-second spots on this channel.

“When we heard that tennis is promoted as ‘the sport of a lifetime’ we knew we were on the same wavelength,” noted AARP State Director Kathleen Connell, who stressed “AARP is all about providing resources for a lifetime.”

Anne Marie McLaughlin, Director of Marketing at the International Tennis Hall of Fame & Museum, agrees with Connell’s keen assessment. “Tennis is very much in sync with AARP’s Life Reimagined program. Perhaps people are seeking new ways to connect with friends once they’ve become empty nesters, or a new hobby to keep them active and healthy. Tennis can provide so many benefits in these areas, and it’s a great activity for people who are looking to reimagine and explore their life.”

“We’re proud to partner with AARP Rhode Island to showcase the game’s many physical, social, and mental benefits to their members,” says McLaughlin who agrees with Connell’s take that tennis is a sport of a lifetime. “It can be played and enjoyed by a 5-year-old or a 95-year-old and we are very excited to partner with AARP Rhode Island to engage, and inspire their members,” she says.

“But, Connell warns that “You cannot generalize about the athletic abilities of people over 50, noting that demanding sports such as marathons, and distance swimming attract athletes in their 60s, 70s. 80s. and even older. Tennis is a great sport for people over 50 because you can play at your own level with players of similar skill. To live longer and remain healthy we know that being and staying active is critical. AARP encourages people to find a sport or activity that can provide life-enhancing benefits, both physical and mental,” added the Middletown resident.

Creating New Opportunities in Your Later Years

As a sport, tennis is a great fit for people looking to reimagine their life after 40. “Whether it’s a job transition, career change, starting a dream business, adapting to being an empty nester or making the switch to a retirement lifestyle, AARP Life Reimagined provides online assessment tools, guidance and resources to help people explore new opportunities, identify adaptable skills and set new goals,” Connell explained.

Connell says Life Reimagined.org is the go-to web address for feeling good about aging. “It’s about you and what you want to accomplish,” she says, noting that it helps put AARP’s “Real Possibilities” into action.

According to Connell, AARP is no longer an organization for older people, but one for all people who want the best out of life, regardless of their age. Many AARP members are still working and do not plan to retire, others leave their jobs seeking new challenges or even establishing new businesses, she explains.

Over a year ago, AARP launched Life Reimaged, a free program designed to help 76 million Boomers easily navigate into new life experiences or reboot their professional lives into different directions. For the sixties generation, continuing to work a full-time job, or even coasting into retirement is no longer an acceptable option. But, AARP stressed that reinventing oneself is the way to go in your later stages of life.

The Life Reimaged website provides tools to help you make key decisions for your next direction and detailed resources to guide you through that journey, says Connell. “Whether your career has hit an unexpected bump in your 50s, or you are looking to start your own business or head down a new path into retirement, AARP can help,” she said.

At the Hall of Fame Tennis Championships

AARP staff and over 50 volunteers were on hand at the Hall of Fame Tennis Championships from Monday, July 7 through the tournament finals on Sunday, July 13. Being stationed at an AARP Life Reimagined booth, these individuals answered questions and distributed copies of AARP Magazine and other materials. On Friday, July 11, (at AARP Day) Connell announced a new AARP membership benefit — a year-round discounted AARP member rate of $8 (instead of the standard $13 rate) for admission into the International Tennis Hall of Fame & Museum. The organization’s museum is open daily and also offers special events including film and music. Year-round tennis programming, including lessons and group play on the historic green courts are available, too.

Activities for AARP Day included a free 50+ tennis clinic led by legendary tennis coach and newly inducted Hall of Famer, Nick Bollettieri, followed by a book signing and Q&A session (see Bollettieri in action on AARP Rhode Island’s YouTube Channel, http://www.youtube.com/aarpri). That day, over 70 people attended an-hour long panel discussion in air-conditioned comfort of the Casino Theatre at the Hall of Fame, about AARP’s Life Reimagined initiative.

At the Friday panel, Connell noted that “It was a real treat for fans to get a chance to hear Hall of Famers Nick Bollettieri, 82, (Class of 2014) and Owen Davidson, 71 (Class of 2010) talk about their careers. AARP volunteer, Charles Dress, 76, of Warwick, also shared his thoughts about how tennis has played an important role in his later years, after retiring from a full-time career,”
said Connell. The panelist all agreed that tennis was “a natural outlet for the life-long learners who want to work hard at improving their skills and staying mentally sharp.”

Meanwhile, at Friday’s tennis clinic Bollettieri, stressed to those attending, “age is only a number.” Connell noted that this is in line with the messaging of AARP. “His enshrinement into the Hall of Fame is fitting not only because of his place as the coach of some many tennis champions, but also because he is a magnificent ambassador for the game. He inspires people with his energy and enthusiasm. We were thrilled that he made his way to our tent to join AARP,” she says.

McLaughlin added that Bollettieri is “an amazing example of what Life Reimagined can represent. At 82 years of age, Nick is still on court 6 days a wee for 10 hours a day…and likely on the golf course the 7th day. He’s living proof that it’s possible and very positive, for someone to stay physically active in older years. With this physical activity come great social and mental benefits as well.”

Before the Hall of Fame Enshrinement Ceremony, Bollettieri gave this columnist a few pointers on living life in your later years. “Stay active and never, never, never, use the word retire,” he says, warning that once the word enters your vocabulary, you begin to decline.

Buying into AARP’s Life Reimagined initiative, Bollettieri advices, “Don’t retire, just change professions.”

Check This Out…

On September 4 and 5, AARP Rhode Island will host two free Life Reimagined “Checkups” at its Providence headquarters. A Life Reimagined leader will facilitate the three-hour workshop that familiarizes people with the available Life Reimagined tools and resources. These sessions include small-group exercise for people looking to make changes in their career direction or hoping to reinvent themselves in retirement. The first session will be in the evening, the second session in the morning. Register online at aarp.org/ri or call 401-248-2671.

For more information about the International Tennis Hall of Fame & Museum go to http://www.tennisfame. com.

Herb Weiss, LRI ’12, is a Pawtucket-based writer who covers aging, health care and medical issues. He can be reached at hweissri@aol.com.