Published in RINewsToday on December 22, 2025

Over the years, nearly everyone has encountered an iconic archetype at holiday gatherings: “Uncle Bob.” At Christmas dinner, Bob predictably launches into uncomfortable political arguments. Other family members scramble to avoid his decisive political chatter—some using humor, others retreating to watch football games on the tube or quickly starting side conversations to dodge conflict.

Last December, the American Psychological Association (APA) released survey findings that underscored just how common—and stressful—these moments have become at Christmas gatherings. Following a divisive presidential election, most U.S. adults said they wanted to avoid political discussions at the dinner table during the holidays, especially with family members whose views differed from their own.

According to the APA survey, released on Dec. 10, 2024, more than 7 in 10 adults (72%) hoped to not talk politics with family during the holidays. While 65% said they were not worried that political discussions would damage relationships, nearly 2 in 5 adults (39%) reported feeling stressed at the thought of politics arising at holiday gatherings.

The survey’s findings also indicated that nearly 2 in 5 adults (38%) said they are avoiding family they disagree with over the holidays. Younger adults were significantly more likely than adults 65 or older to say they plan to avoid family over the holidays (45% adults ages 18–34, 47% ages 35–44, 42% ages 45–54, and 32% ages 55–64 vs. 23% ages 65+).

Fast forward to today: political disagreements within families have not disappeared, maybe even intensified, and the upcoming Christmas season may once again be ripe for tension and emotional strain and stress.

A Surprising Strategy for Reducing Political Conflict

New research, however, may offer a practical way to cool political tensions before they ruin a Christmas gathering. According to research published by the American Psychological Association, (APA), when engaging in political discussions, talking about what you oppose—rather than what you support—can make others more open to your views.

“In an era of deepening political polarization, our research offers a counterintuitive insight into how we can better communicate across ideological lines: Talk about what you oppose, not what you support,” said lead author Rhia Catapano, PhD, of the University of Toronto, in a Dec. 15, 2025 statement announcing the findings.

In a series of experiments involving more than 10,000 participants, researchers examined how people express their political opinions and how framing—support versus opposition—affects how others respond. The study, Talking About What We Support Versus Oppose Affects Others’ Openness to Our Views, was published online in the Dec. 15, 2025, issue of the Journal of Personality and Social Psychology.

In one experiment, people were randomly chosen to either provide their viewpoint on sensitive issues like abortion and gun control or hear someone else’s perspective on the same issue. All participants were told they were paired with someone who did not share their views, although no actual matching occurred.

Messages were carefully framed to express either support or opposition to a particular issue. For example, a statement supporting abortion message might read, “I support allowing abortions,” while a message framed in opposition would read, “I oppose abortion bans.”

Senders rated how persuasive they believed their messages would be in swaying their imaginary receiver. Receivers were asked to respond to messages from imaginary senders, reporting how closely the messages aligned with their values and whether they were open to reconsidering their own views.

Although senders believed support-framed messages would be more persuasive, the opposite was true. Receivers were significantly more open to messages framed in terms of opposition.

In a different experiment, researchers recruited Reddit users, creating a simulated Reddit environment in which participants could choose which post to read and engage in. Participants were more likely to select and engage with opposition-framed posts than those framed around support.

What Catapano found most striking was how subtle the change in framing actually was.

All of the actual arguments were the same for both framings, Catapano explained. Simply changing the wording of the first sentence from ‘I support X’ to ‘I oppose Y’—where Y represented the other side of the issue—was enough to increase receptiveness, she says.

How receptive people are to messages is affected not only by the arguments themselves, Catapano added, but by something as small as a single word in how those arguments are introduced.

Here’s the takeaway: small changes in how we talk about our beliefs can have outsized effects on how others respond—an insight with clear relevance for holiday conversations.

Setting Boundaries and Protecting Your Health

Two UT Southwestern Medical Center faculty members also offered guidance in a Nov. 21, 2024 MedBlog article, “Boundaries, respect, keys to political discussions at holiday family gatherings.”

Cameron W. Davis, PhD, assistant professor of psychiatry, suggests the importance of setting  personal boundaries and identify “hot” and “cold” topics before attending the family gathering to reduce the likelihood of hostile exchanges.

Sarah Woods, PhD, associate professor and vice chair of research in the Department of Family and Community Medicine, notes that strained family relationships—often intensified by clashing opinions—can have serious short- and long-term health consequences. Her research findings indicate that strained family dynamics are linked to higher rates of chronic conditions.

According to Woods, stress triggers the release of cortisol, a hormone produced by the adrenal glands that acts as the body’s alarm system. Elevated cortisol levels can disrupt sleep, trigger headaches, increase inflammation, reduce pain tolerance, and cause shortness of breath.

Practical Do’s and Don’ts for Holiday Conversations

In their MedBlog, Drs. Davis and Woods offered the following practical advice to help keep Christmas dinner civil if political banter begins to heat up:

·         Communicate respectfully. Focus on presenting facts and ideas when discussing politics and avoid making personal attacks.

·         Set emotional boundaries.Pay close attention to your internal stress responses. Taking a deep breath before and during politically charged conversations can help you stay grounded.

·         Prepare in advance.No one knows how to push your buttons like a family member. Practice how you’ll respond to difficult relatives at the family gathering—and avoid pushing their buttons in return.

·         Focus on understanding others, not winning your point. Conflict is a natural part of relationships, and understanding this can help you develop the skills needed to address it.  effectively. Acknowledging another person’s perspective doesn’t weaken your own positions. The goal to reach is having respect for the other person’s views, not, victory.

According to Drs. Davis and Woods, being able to listen carefully is a useful skill when talking about political issues that make you uncomfortable.  If you decide to discuss politics at the Christmas dinner table, focus on truly hearing the other person rather than reacting impulsively. When responding, do it in a thoughtful way that reflect your values and understanding, they say.

The MedBlog authors also noted that it’s It’s helpful to identify an ally—someone you trust and feel safe with—where you can speak openly about your position on political issues that might come up at Christmas dinner or beyond.  This allows you to “practice authenticity, think openly, and experience non-judgement listing.” This doesn’t have to be someone who agrees with you politically, but rather someone who helps create a buffer zone of emotional safety, they say.

If conversations become heated, resist making impulsive decisions about cutting them off—or cutting family members or friends out of your life, recommend Drs. Davis and Woods, recommending:  Ask yourself: Is this a disagreement worth damaging a family relationship or friendship? Would quickly acting drain energy from other priorities right now?

Drs. Davis and Woods advise that if politics come up, don’t insist others agree with you or pressure them into debate. Step back from discussions that feel emotionally draining to you, you’re not obligated to participate. Politely declining, redirecting the topic, or gauging someone’s willingness to talk can prevent unnecessary tension.

Finally, having a plan can reduce stress, too. If you’re attending a gathering with a spouse or partner, get on the same page beforehand. Decide which topics are off-limits and how long you want to stay. Create a subtle signal—a hand gesture, a wink, or a touch on the shoulder—to defuse tension and awkward moments or cue your partner to step in.

A Final Note… Over the years, when I go to Christmas gatherings, my son, and I often differ on politics and other issues. When we don’t see eye to eye, I simply say, “Well, we can agree to disagree.” That usually settles the discussion once and for all.

Enjoy your Christmas gathering.